President Obama arrives in Cuba for historic visit

(The New Zealand Herald)

Illustration: Osvaldo Montero

President Obama arrives in Cuba = Practised samba in barrio venue

(by Julian Lofts)

Angry customers sue Starbucks for failing to fill lattes

(MSN)

Illustration: kasiQ kmjw

Angry customers sue Starbucks for failing to fill lattes = Caffeine slag frustration sucks; loyalists grumble "tort!"

(by Russ Atkinson)

To George, she's simply Gan-Gan

(The New Zealand Herald)

To George, she's simply Gan-Gan = Engaging royal gem, "she's tops!"

(by Robert Jordan)

Professor Who Solved Fermat's Last Theorem Wins Math's Abel Prize

(National Public Radio)

Photo: CREDITS

Sir Andrew Wiles = Reward wiliness

(by Julian Lofts)

Salah Abdeslam

(CBS News)

Photo: Wikimedia

Salah Abdeslam = Me badass, Allah!

(by Russ Atkinson)

The Escape from Hell

(National Interest)

Photo: Thierry Ehrmann

The Escape from Hell = Shell them for peace?

(by Robert Jordan)

GOP operatives, conservative leaders meet to thwart Trump

(Washington Post)

GOP operatives, conservative leaders meet to thwart Trump = Step to repulse the worst ever provocative dim magnate rat!

(by Maurice Goddard)

No Regrets Living

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Duncan C

No Regrets Living = Never losing grit

(by Robert Jordan)

Female airline pilots can't drive car from Saudi airport

(Washington Post)

A photo posted by Royal Brunei Airlines (@royalbruneiair)

Female airline pilots can't drive car from Saudi airport = Medieval realm proscription unfair to aircraft ladies

(by Russ Atkinson)

Versailles the most 'pornographic' TV series ever?

(The Times of India)

Versailles the most 'pornographic' TV series ever = Nevertheless, I have erotic programs (live sports?)

(by Mark McNamara)

Video shows man urinating on Kellogg assembly line

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: Mike Mozart

Rice Krispies Treats and granola clusters = Trickster/ass pissed in cereal granulator

(by Jason Lofts)

Bernie Sanders says Donald Trump is a pathological liar

(The Independent)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Pathological liar ~ or political galah
("galah" is Australian slang for a "loud-mouthed idiot")

(by Jason Lofts)

German Nationalists Strong in Setback for Merkel's Party

(NBC News)

Photo: James Rea

German Nationalists = A salient "No migrants!"

(by Julian Lofts)

The German Nationalists = Insane lot hate migrants = Name tag: Hitler onanists

(by Jason Lofts)

After months of playing protesters to his advantage, Donald Trump is overpowered in Chicago

(Washington Post)

After months of playing protesters to his advantage, Donald Trump is overpowered in Chicago = O! Man! Chaos! Mad-driven over-reacting power-hungry toad is starting to topple off his pedestal

(by Maurice Goddard)

Maria Sharapova's Admission Sends Her Sponsors Fleeing

(The New York Times)

Photo: Cyril Attias

Maria's Main Sponsors: Nike, TAG Heuer, Avon, Head, Porsche, Evian, PepsiCo, Sony = Epic aversion phenomenon. Synopsis: Noisemaker Sharapova is a drug cheat!

(by Julian Lofts)

Trump's not Hitler, he's Mussolini: How GOP anti-intellectualism created a modern fascist movement in America

(Salon)

Fascist leader Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini = US billionaire Donald recreates same fanaticism

(by Jason Lofts)

Donald Trump's baffling explanation for violence at his campaign rallies

(Washington Post)

Photo: Dustin Ginetz

Donald Trump's baffling explanation for violence at his campaign rallies = Vain insane flipping mogul's brand almost an exact replica of Adolf Hitler!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Republican Debate: Which Donald Trump Will Take The Stage Tonight?

(National Public Radio)

Illustration: Mike Licht

Republican Debate: Which Donald Trump Will Take The Stage Tonight? = Demoniac twit, eh? The huge bloated twerp talking bullshit and crap!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Another Hitler? How world leaders see Donald Trump.

(USA Today)

Photo: cool revolution

Another Hitler? How world leaders see Donald Trump. = Oh what terror, dread new President he'll doom us all?

(by Barry Solomons)

Pro-gun activist is shot by her own son

(Daily Mail)

Pro-gun activist is shot by her own son = Bosh! Ironic twist. Son proves naughty.

(by Russ Atkinson)