University of Washington Cheerleading Squad Slammed for Poster with Body Requirements

(People)

University of Washington cheerleading squad slammed for poster with body requirements = Quest for tender maidens in gym shorts. Prerequisites: 'beachy glow', 'hair down', 'volume' and 'fit'

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Poster: UW

Start preparing for Donald Trump to become the Republican nominee

(Deutsche Welle)

"Donald J. Trump is the very definition of the American success story, continually setting the standards of excellence in business, real estate and entertainment"^* = This Republican nominee contender is an utterly moronic, inveterate sexist, a detested, ghastly, daft man just full of hysterical nonsense and racist tendencies
^* from Donald Trump's website

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: shygurl88

FBI won't reveal method for cracking San Bernardino iPhone

(Washington Post)

FBI won't reveal method for cracking San Bernardino iPhone = Now, no one receives plan, for it might backfire hard on brand

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Noticias Seguridad

Why Elizabeth Warren Would Have More Clout As Hillary Clinton's VP

(Huffington Post)

Why Elizabeth Warren Would Have More Clout As Hillary Clinton's VP = An all-clever whiz, power-woman should thus ably nail victory there?

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Image: Moishe Friedman

Cruz and Kasich take on Trump

(US News & World Report)

Cruz and Kasich take on Trump = Men's pact: run, kick out hazard.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

One part Nixon, two parts Wallace: Donald Trump represents the worst of a bygone America

(Salon)

One part Nixon, two parts Wallace: Donald Trump represents the worst of a bygone America = Nasty rodent repeats pattern now: Xenophobic megalomaniac lusts after warlord power.

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Boehner wants Paul Ryan for president

(MSN)

Boehner wants Paul Ryan for president = Say, power baron lined up fresh entrant

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Illustration: T.J. Hawk

Prince Dead At 57

(TMZ)

Prince is dead = I ascended. RIP.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: G Ross

Alton Towers owner facing huge fine after pleading guilty over Smiler crash

(St. Helens Star)

Alton Towers = Lot to answer

Anagram: Jason Lofts

The Bunyadi: London gets its first naked restaurant

(The Week)

The Bunyadi: London gets its first naked restaurant = Featuring randy nudists that dine on steak, lobster... = Bistrot feeds nudes trying a natural diet. No thanks!

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: Thomas Hawk

Six ex-'Apprentice' stars to disavow Donald Trump for his 'anti-American' campaign

(New York Daily News)

Six ex-'Apprentice' stars to disavow Donald Trump for his 'anti-American' campaign = Paranoid pig's rot saw putrid sexism, racism, toxic hate, and rampant fan violence!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

At Israeli brewery, last sip of beer Jesus might have drunk

(MSN)

At Israeli brewery, last sip of beer Jesus might have drunk = I hear Jewish guys taste rare bible drink; flavor upsets me.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Trump's campaign may see some fallout from its fight with the RNC

(CNN)

Trump's campaign may see some fallout from its fight with the RNC = In truth, creepy mogul is a fast-scoffing mammoth wimp that leers!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Couple Sits On Bench

(Huffington Post)

Couple sits on bench. After a while they got up = Scene's nice: the two photograph beautifully

Anagram: Robert Jordan, Photo: British High Commission

Trump's foreign policy alarms the world

(The Sun Daily)

Trump's foreign policy alarms the world = Cipher for "Troglodyte plans Muslim war"

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Mars Food tells customers to go easy on the pasta sauce

(Daily Mail)

Mars Food tells customers to go easy on the pasta sauce = To analyse: Seems too processed, too much salt, sugar, fat

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: wazabees

Bernie Sanders attacks capitalism during trip to Vatican

(USA Today)

Bernie Sanders attacks capitalism during trip to Vatican = "A decadent vice, sir! Trump's a stinking baron capitalist rat!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Godzilla-Like Marine Iguana Filmed Foraging In The Waters Of The Galapagos Islands

(IFLScience)

Photographer Steve Winkworth captures this Godzilla-like marine iguana underwater ~ or whenever a Galapagos lizard lurks in the ocean we think it's a turgid whopper, I mutter.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Colourful 'vomit-like' Australian $5 note unveiled

(MSN)

Colourful 'vomit-like' Australian currency unveiled = "Anomalous ickier fiver unloved, uncultural," I let cry

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Inky the Octopus escapes from the National Aquarium of New Zealand

(ABC News)

Inky the Octopus escapes from the National Aquarium of New Zealand = Ha, fit male cephalopod squeezes out of tank, now in marine sanctuary!

Anagram: Jason Lofts