Five Years After Bin Laden's Death, What's Changed?

(NBC News)

Osama bin Laden = 's one bad animal = Bad ol' man in sea

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: Surian Soosay

Clinton: Don't let progress fall to Trump

(Washington Post)

Clinton: Don't let progress fall to Trump = Polls tell: strong Democrat put in front

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

For Obama's final correspondents' dinner, the obvious targets: Trump, Cruz and himself

(Washington Post)

The White House Correspondents' Dinner = The President, our chosen winner, hosted

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Trump's ex-wife used to tell friends about his erectile dysfunction

(deathandtaxesmag)

Trump's ex-wife used to tell her friends about his erectile dysfunction = I/We conclude it seems hurt bride reported he's sexually unfit (not stiff)

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: PROGage Skidmore

What It's Like to Write Jokes for President Obama

(The New York Times)

What It's Like to Write Jokes for President Obama = Work hard; smart wit is OK, tiniest jape too feeble.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Female Ted Cruz Lookalike Agrees To Do Porn For $10,000

(Huffington Post)

Searcy Hayes = Aye, she scary! = Aye, he's scary!

Anagram: Julian Lofts

White House 2016: Clinton Gears Up for Trump in Fall Race

(The New York Times)

Who should be voted in as the American President? = One best case: I wish I don't have Donald Trump here! = Top name Clinton deserves a hard White House bid = Hard to choose a super mind between the invalids!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Firefighters Rescue Cops Stuck In Elevator

(MSN)

Firefighters Rescue Cops Stuck In Elevator = Greater stuff: service heros unstick police

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: CBS Interactive

Russian 'eternal flame' replaced by cardboard painting

(BBC)

Russian 'eternal flame' replaced by cardboard painting = A grand, true, symbolic fire can't end! A paper is real bland!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Vitaly Nevar / Novy Kaliningrad

If Donald Trump Were a Woman, He'd Have Zero Percent of the Vote

(Rolling Stone)

If Donald Trump Were a Woman, He'd Have Zero Percent of the Vote = What? I hope we never do vote for the crazed female "Donna Trump".

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: misery722

Protest Turns Violent at Trump Rally

(ABC News)

Protest Turns Violent at Trump Rally = Plan: start Trump revolution. Let's try!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: Yanito Freminoshi

Can Donald Trump really win the White House?

(Quartz)

President of the United States of America = I'd restate: Trump office set in stone ahead.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: KAZ Vorpal

Obama's cold peace is right goal for Middle East

(The Arizona Republic)

United States of America = Refuse action at Mid-East

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Tully: A doctor's diagnosis: Donald Trump is a bully

(Indianapolis Star)

Tully: A doctor's diagnosis: Donald Trump is a bully = Plus loud idiot's incurably mad and totally gross!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Mike Licht

Leicester City stand on the brink of a remarkable Premier League title... but who are the men behind their success?

(Daily Mail)

A List of Some of the Managers/Coaches of the English Premier League Football Clubs 1. Arsene Wenger 2. (Sir Alex Ferguson followed by) the Netherlands' Louis van Gaal 3. Jose Mourinho 4. Jurgen Klopp 5. Sam Allardyce 6. Terry McDermott 7. Slaven Bilic 8. Kenny Jackett 9. Paul Lambert 10. Claudio Ranieri 11. Mauricio Pochettino

=

Some are foreign or not 1. Arsenal 2. Man U (hah, a stupid joke - poor performance) 3. Chelsea (he just left - has megalomania, OK) 4. LFC 5. Spurs 6. Newcastle 7. Hammers 8. Wolves 9. Blackburn Rovers 10. Leicester City (jubilantly excel, leading the tough competition) 11. Sunderland (a bloody terrible failure! Gloomily facing relegation?)

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Ronnie Macdonald

Donald Trump denies allegations he raped teenage girl at convicted paedophile's sex party

(The Herald)

Is Donald Trump a clandestine paedophile? = A child, teen? I'm appalled, astounded! Prison?

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Donald Trump: If Hillary Clinton were a man she would get less than five per cent of vote

(The Daily Telegraph)

Donald Trump: If Hillary Clinton were a man she would get less than five per cent of vote = Those mean words tell much of one infernally rotten, well-depraved, fat chauvinist pig!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Italy Uncovers Islamist Plot to Attack Vatican and Israeli Embassy

(Newsweek)

Italy has uncovered an Islamist plot to attack the Vatican = Very vicious plan: latest task - attain death to Catholic man

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas, Photo: Christopher Lance

Ted Cruz names Carly Fiorina as VP pick

(CNN)

Ted Cruz names Carly Fiorina as VP pick = First, a crazy rival...second, pickup name?

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: TJ Hawk

University of Washington Cheerleading Squad Slammed for Poster with Body Requirements

(People)

University of Washington cheerleading squad slammed for poster with body requirements = Quest for tender maidens in gym shorts. Prerequisites: 'beachy glow', 'hair down', 'volume' and 'fit'

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Poster: UW