Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne Split

(ABC News)

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne Split = Snazzy pair rush to loosen bond

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Red Touch Media

Congressional Republicans Line Up Behind Trump

(National Public Radio)

Congressional Republicans Line Up Behind Trump = Ironic Plan: "Presidential Enough," Burps Men's Club

Anagram: Jeffrey Barnes, Illustration: Mike Licht

Washington DC flower thief arrested

(Washington Post)

Washington DC flower thief arrested = Growers detain filcher as theft down

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Norsez Oh

The back-door GOP conversations happening around Trump

(CNN)

President of the United States of America = See fear if the candidate to set on is Trump

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

What Did Michael Phelps Name His Son?

(Romper)

Boomer Robert Phelps is the name of Michael's son = Mom calls him 'Bob' or 'Peepee' for short - is sane then

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Instagram/Boone Studios

Hillary Clinton Nicknames Donald Trump the 'Presumptuous Nominee'

(ABC News)

Hillary Clinton Nicknames Donald Trump the 'Presumptuous Nominee' = Him, the ill-mannered stuck-up tycoon. Moron's an unpresidential lump!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Massive Canadian wildfire likely to double in size

(USA Today)

Oh see acrid tailwinds fan ~ those Canadian wildfires

Canada's Fort McMurray wildfire = Warm flame did carry unfair cost

Anagram 1: Julian Lofts, Anagram 2: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Premier of Alberta

Trump v Republican elite - the split explained

(BBC)

Trump versus the Republican elite = Chump vs reputable, true, resilient...

Donald Trump versus the Republican elite - the split explained = Reputable old "experts" let in inept chump and evil US Hitler. Sad!

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Devon Christopher Adams

Donald Trump just threatened to cause an unprecedented global financial crisis

(Vox)

Donald Trump just threatened to cause an unprecedented global financial crisis = Jesus! Alongside rant, all can dread an ultra-conceited unfit-to-be-President chump!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Captain America: Civil War Reviews - What Did You Think?

(ComingSoon.net)

Captain America: Civil War = A critical view: crap-mania

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Gunner111

Ryan says he is 'not ready' to back Trump, deepening GOP divide

(Washington Post)

Ryan says he is 'not ready' to back Trump, deepening GOP divide = "I'm never supporting a cheeky, odd bigot as President any day!"

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: David Lacasse

Rolling Stones ban Donald Trump from using their songs after he plays Start Me Up

(The Daily Telegraph)

'Start Me Up', the great rock anthem of the Rolling Stones, is not available ~ to that vile troll Trump. Gent's an abomination! Asshole! The fecker rages.

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Brandon Carson

Obama commutes prison sentences of 58 people

(Reuters)

Obama commutes prison sentences of fifty-eight people = Happy cons, top enemies commit felonies, but go free fast!

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Pete Toscano

Lying BMW driver Ayesha Ahmed's life 'in ruins' over jail term for speeding scam, says sister

(MSN)

Ayesha Ahmed = Ashamed? Yeah!

Anagram: Robert Jordan, Photo: Tonymadrid Photography

Kasich ends GOP presidential bid

(USA Today)

Kasich ends GOP presidential bid = Aspiring path is blocked, is ended = He did disappoint single backers

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: ProgressOhio

'Toxic stew of hatred': Elizabeth Warren excoriates Donald Trump

(ABC News)

'Toxic stew of hatred': Elizabeth Warren excoriates Donald Trump = "I am well aware of that crazed, sexist, xenophobic, rotten, red turd"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Ted Cruz Suspends His Campaign for President

(The New York Times)

Ted Cruz Suspends His Campaign for President = Trump seized GOP, and press finds such certain

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Donald Trump: Presumptive GOP nominee; Sanders takes Indiana

(CNN)

Donald Trump, the presumptive GOP nominee = I prevented! He put up simple monogram: DON T.

DON T is short for Donald Trump; also it spells "don't"

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Devon Christopher Adams

Man takes sex doll home to meet his parents after he mistakes her for an "angel"

(Raw Story)

Man takes sex doll home to meet his parents after he mistakes her for an 'angel' = As menfolk agree to meet: "Let's examine her part naked." Oh, that fisherman's loss!

Anagram: Dharam Khalsa, Photo: Facebook

Donald Trump Accuses Ted Cruz's Father of Associating With Kennedy Assassin

(The New York Times)

Donald Trump Accuses Ted Cruz's Father of Associating With Kennedy Assassin = That snarky US cuss recognizes said dad in Oswald street pic. Fun fact? No shame!

Anagram: Dharam Khalsa