In Sit-Down With Donald Trump, Megyn Kelly Shows A Light Touch

(National Public Radio)

Megyn Kelly interviews Donald Trump = Still inwardly kept revenge on dummy

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

How fast is New Orleans sinking? Faster and faster, says new study

(Christian Science Monitor)

How fast is New Orleans sinking? Faster and faster, says new study = Wasn't funny, as settling down there's a risky affair! Woes! Sadness!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Don Graham

Fashion for a bird

(Yahoo!)

Fashion for a bird~brain. Hairdo's off!

Anagram: Robert Jordan, Photo: Ed Remedio/Caters News Agency

DNC to offer Sanders a convention concession

(Washington Post)

Contested convention = DNC's to not even notice

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Trevor Bexon

Trump Card

(Snopes.com)

"Donald Trump has been in the public eye for over thirty years...and he was never once accused of being racist by anyone until he decided to run against the Democrats." = He could conceivably be President of the United States of America, and screw us over. It's already great, you ninny! Don't cheat and beg! He can end! Hurry, Bernie, stop him!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

EgyptAir flight goes off radar en route from Paris

(USA Today)

EgyptAir = Rage, pity

EgyptAir crash = Teary graphics

Anagrams: Josiah Winslow, Julian Lofts, Photo: Eric Salard

Donald Trump Still Has a Tough Climb to the White House

(Fortune)

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. = I, Donald J. Trump, a Republican egotist, shall, if I get voted in office, fight ISIS, change tiny fences built on the southern border to a wall, aid deceit, and alienate the world.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Cruz, Kasich, Carson can win delegates in Washington's presidential primary

(The News Tribune)

Cruz, Kasich, Carson can win delegates in Washington's presidential primary = Yet, crazier campaigns lack gains, and won't win in harsh elections. Surprised?

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Elderly man's Quaker Oats contest submission rejected because it's hand-written

(MSN)

Elderly man's Quaker Oats contest submission rejected because it's hand-written = It's just not cricket. Wheat co.'s d*mn queer system's unreasonable, biased, anti-elder.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Simon D

Clinton takes Kentucky, Sanders takes Oregon

(CNN)

Clinton takes Kentucky, Sanders wins Oregon = "I won!" "I lost!" Go try. Neck-and-neck rank tenses us.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

The Mind of Donald Trump

(The Atlantic)

Across his lifetime, Donald Trump has exhibited a trait profile that you would not expect of a US president: sky-high extroversion combined with off-the-chart low agreeableness = He's a most insufferable pretender. What a sexist pig. What a frightfully obnoxious, stupid, racist, white xenophobe he is. Don't elect him! Vote for Democrat "Crooked Hillary" instead.

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Woman driver follows her GPS into lake

(The Independent)

Woman driver follows her GPS into lake = Her new flaws: Gal drove into pool. Smirk!

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Patrick Dockens

Donald Trump: Being Smart Is Dumb, Ignorance Is Good

(Vanity Fair)

Donald Trump: Being Smart Is Dumb, Ignorance Is Good = Cringe to blooming pudding's absurd reason, dammit!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

'I need help': Sophie Grégoire Trudeau's plea sparks anger in Canada

(The Guardian)

Sophie Trudeau = Poised hauteur

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: DoD News Features

Bill Clinton's rough day on the trail

(Politico)

Bill Clinton's rough day on the trail = Hillary continues to roll...bad night?

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Father speaks of son, who was found decapitated

(ABC7 Chicago)

Father speaks of son, who was found decapitated = Weapon...footsteps dashed..head was off in a truck.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Alan Cleaver

Man receives penis transplant in US

(BBC)

The Massachusetts General Hospital = Oh, reattaches genitals, heals stumps

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Old Trafford suspect device 'signed for' by security firm

(BBC)

Security Search Management & Solutions Ltd = Lost 'toy' & Manchester United cursing as "lame"!

Anagram: Chris Sturdy

What Donald Trump must do to defeat Hillary Clinton

(Fox News)

What Donald Trump must do to defeat Hillary Clinton = To win, hardly put a full mindset on that old Democrat.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Bill Clinton: 'I killed myself to give the Palestinians a state'

(Politico)

Bill Clinton: 'I killed myself to give the Palestinians a state' = It kept oilcans, a noted benefit, yet Islam's still a living hell

Anagram: Josiah Winslow