Trump once revealed his income tax returns. They showed he didn't pay a cent

(Washington Post)

Trump once revealed his income tax returns. They showed he didn't pay a cent. = Hum? No wonder! In truth, shame. Deception and deceit expert's a very sly cheat.

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

How Birds Became Red

(Forbes)

How Birds Became Red = Described how? "Amber."

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Carolyn Lehrke

Key GOP Donors Still Deeply Resist Donald Trump's Candidacy

(The New York Times)

Key GOP donors still deeply resist Donald Trump's candidacy = Rotten, disliked, dodgy tycoon's rudely mindless crap appals!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Cory Doctorow

Tortoise in a baby stroller a novelty even for New Yorkers

(MSN)

Sulcata tortoise ~ causes total riot

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Via Tsuji

Mount Etna spews out lava in stunning volcanic display

(The Daily Telegraph)

Mount Etna, Sicily, Europe's highest active volcano = Civil emergency! Its cone spat out heinous hot lava.

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Could a Low-Salt Diet Hurt Your Health?

(US News & World Report)

Could a low-salt diet hurt your health? = Why use it all? Could hurt a lot...or death!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Raül Utrera

Genetically Engineered Crops Are Safe and Possibly Good for Climate Change

(Scientific American)

Genetically modified crops = Optimised cornfield legacy = Get fields rapidly economic

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: Chiot's Run

La. lawmaker wants strippers to be young and thin

(KFOR4)

La. lawmaker wants strippers to be young and thin = In bars we gawk at her slim, tan, nude top parts only

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

In Sit-Down With Donald Trump, Megyn Kelly Shows A Light Touch

(National Public Radio)

Megyn Kelly interviews Donald Trump = Still inwardly kept revenge on dummy

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

How fast is New Orleans sinking? Faster and faster, says new study

(Christian Science Monitor)

How fast is New Orleans sinking? Faster and faster, says new study = Wasn't funny, as settling down there's a risky affair! Woes! Sadness!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Don Graham

Fashion for a bird

(Yahoo!)

Fashion for a bird~brain. Hairdo's off!

Anagram: Robert Jordan, Photo: Ed Remedio/Caters News Agency

DNC to offer Sanders a convention concession

(Washington Post)

Contested convention = DNC's to not even notice

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Trevor Bexon

Trump Card

(Snopes.com)

"Donald Trump has been in the public eye for over thirty years...and he was never once accused of being racist by anyone until he decided to run against the Democrats." = He could conceivably be President of the United States of America, and screw us over. It's already great, you ninny! Don't cheat and beg! He can end! Hurry, Bernie, stop him!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

EgyptAir flight goes off radar en route from Paris

(USA Today)

EgyptAir = Rage, pity

EgyptAir crash = Teary graphics

Anagrams: Josiah Winslow, Julian Lofts, Photo: Eric Salard

Donald Trump Still Has a Tough Climb to the White House

(Fortune)

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. = I, Donald J. Trump, a Republican egotist, shall, if I get voted in office, fight ISIS, change tiny fences built on the southern border to a wall, aid deceit, and alienate the world.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Cruz, Kasich, Carson can win delegates in Washington's presidential primary

(The News Tribune)

Cruz, Kasich, Carson can win delegates in Washington's presidential primary = Yet, crazier campaigns lack gains, and won't win in harsh elections. Surprised?

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Elderly man's Quaker Oats contest submission rejected because it's hand-written

(MSN)

Elderly man's Quaker Oats contest submission rejected because it's hand-written = It's just not cricket. Wheat co.'s d*mn queer system's unreasonable, biased, anti-elder.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Simon D

Clinton takes Kentucky, Sanders takes Oregon

(CNN)

Clinton takes Kentucky, Sanders wins Oregon = "I won!" "I lost!" Go try. Neck-and-neck rank tenses us.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

The Mind of Donald Trump

(The Atlantic)

Across his lifetime, Donald Trump has exhibited a trait profile that you would not expect of a US president: sky-high extroversion combined with off-the-chart low agreeableness = He's a most insufferable pretender. What a sexist pig. What a frightfully obnoxious, stupid, racist, white xenophobe he is. Don't elect him! Vote for Democrat "Crooked Hillary" instead.

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Woman driver follows her GPS into lake

(The Independent)

Woman driver follows her GPS into lake = Her new flaws: Gal drove into pool. Smirk!

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Patrick Dockens