Donald Trump Gives Gov. Susana Martinez a Poor Performance Review

(The New York Times)

Donald Trump Gives Gov. Susana Martinez a Poor Performance Review = Crazed saliva runs from avowed arrogant presumptive GOP nominee!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: LANL

Bill Cosby ordered to stand trial in decade-old sex assault case

(St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

Bill Cosby ordered to stand trial in decade-old sex assault case = It'll test sex-abuser's bad conscience, a real oily odd old dastard!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Ted Eytan

Project Fear to keep UK in Europe

(The Daily Telegraph)

The question: Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union = He mentioned no future. No hope. Heinous naïve anti-immigrant Europhobe Neanderthals queue to remodel UK

Anagram: Greig Templeton, Photo: Chris Goldberg

Squid And Octopus Population On The Rise

(RT)

Squid and octopus population on the rise = Or: Cephalopod quantities up, it sounds, no?

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: Ratha Grimes

Bill Clinton Says He Won't Mention Donald Trump, Then Does Three Times in a Campaign Speech

(ABC News)

Bill Clinton Says He Won't Mention Donald Trump, Then Does Three Times in a Campaign Speech = To mind: Bernie's the "opponent". That mindless maniac clown is "the other guy". Clean and simple.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Gage Skidmore

This Guy Got Breast Implants to Win a $100,000 Bet -- And he liked them so much that he had them for 20 years.

(Cosmopolitan)

A gambler/magician would like his size 38C breast implants removed after twenty years = Titter! Brian Zembic's lovely pecs (installed fake mammaries) won this guy a wager/dare

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Trump once revealed his income tax returns. They showed he didn't pay a cent

(Washington Post)

Trump once revealed his income tax returns. They showed he didn't pay a cent. = Hum? No wonder! In truth, shame. Deception and deceit expert's a very sly cheat.

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

How Birds Became Red

(Forbes)

How Birds Became Red = Described how? "Amber."

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Carolyn Lehrke

Key GOP Donors Still Deeply Resist Donald Trump's Candidacy

(The New York Times)

Key GOP donors still deeply resist Donald Trump's candidacy = Rotten, disliked, dodgy tycoon's rudely mindless crap appals!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Cory Doctorow

Tortoise in a baby stroller a novelty even for New Yorkers

(MSN)

Sulcata tortoise ~ causes total riot

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Via Tsuji

Mount Etna spews out lava in stunning volcanic display

(The Daily Telegraph)

Mount Etna, Sicily, Europe's highest active volcano = Civil emergency! Its cone spat out heinous hot lava.

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Could a Low-Salt Diet Hurt Your Health?

(US News & World Report)

Could a low-salt diet hurt your health? = Why use it all? Could hurt a lot...or death!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Raül Utrera

Genetically Engineered Crops Are Safe and Possibly Good for Climate Change

(Scientific American)

Genetically modified crops = Optimised cornfield legacy = Get fields rapidly economic

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: Chiot's Run

La. lawmaker wants strippers to be young and thin

(KFOR4)

La. lawmaker wants strippers to be young and thin = In bars we gawk at her slim, tan, nude top parts only

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

In Sit-Down With Donald Trump, Megyn Kelly Shows A Light Touch

(National Public Radio)

Megyn Kelly interviews Donald Trump = Still inwardly kept revenge on dummy

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

How fast is New Orleans sinking? Faster and faster, says new study

(Christian Science Monitor)

How fast is New Orleans sinking? Faster and faster, says new study = Wasn't funny, as settling down there's a risky affair! Woes! Sadness!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Don Graham

Fashion for a bird

(Yahoo!)

Fashion for a bird~brain. Hairdo's off!

Anagram: Robert Jordan, Photo: Ed Remedio/Caters News Agency

DNC to offer Sanders a convention concession

(Washington Post)

Contested convention = DNC's to not even notice

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Trevor Bexon

Trump Card

(Snopes.com)

"Donald Trump has been in the public eye for over thirty years...and he was never once accused of being racist by anyone until he decided to run against the Democrats." = He could conceivably be President of the United States of America, and screw us over. It's already great, you ninny! Don't cheat and beg! He can end! Hurry, Bernie, stop him!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

EgyptAir flight goes off radar en route from Paris

(USA Today)

EgyptAir = Rage, pity

EgyptAir crash = Teary graphics

Anagrams: Josiah Winslow, Julian Lofts, Photo: Eric Salard