Donald Trump Clinches GOP Nomination

(National Public Radio)

Donald Trump clinches GOP nomination = I'm hoping Clinton can stop rude old man

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Elizabeth Warren trashes Trump as a "small, insecure money-grubber"

(CBS News)

Elizabeth Warren trashes Trump as a "small, insecure money-grubber" = "Him? Surly magnate amasses rarer wealth. Corrupt Beelzebub sinner!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Donald Trump Gives Gov. Susana Martinez a Poor Performance Review

(The New York Times)

Donald Trump Gives Gov. Susana Martinez a Poor Performance Review = Crazed saliva runs from avowed arrogant presumptive GOP nominee!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: LANL

Bill Cosby ordered to stand trial in decade-old sex assault case

(St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

Bill Cosby ordered to stand trial in decade-old sex assault case = It'll test sex-abuser's bad conscience, a real oily odd old dastard!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Ted Eytan

Project Fear to keep UK in Europe

(The Daily Telegraph)

The question: Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union = He mentioned no future. No hope. Heinous naïve anti-immigrant Europhobe Neanderthals queue to remodel UK

Anagram: Greig Templeton, Photo: Chris Goldberg

Squid And Octopus Population On The Rise

(RT)

Squid and octopus population on the rise = Or: Cephalopod quantities up, it sounds, no?

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: Ratha Grimes

Bill Clinton Says He Won't Mention Donald Trump, Then Does Three Times in a Campaign Speech

(ABC News)

Bill Clinton Says He Won't Mention Donald Trump, Then Does Three Times in a Campaign Speech = To mind: Bernie's the "opponent". That mindless maniac clown is "the other guy". Clean and simple.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Gage Skidmore

This Guy Got Breast Implants to Win a $100,000 Bet -- And he liked them so much that he had them for 20 years.

(Cosmopolitan)

A gambler/magician would like his size 38C breast implants removed after twenty years = Titter! Brian Zembic's lovely pecs (installed fake mammaries) won this guy a wager/dare

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Trump once revealed his income tax returns. They showed he didn't pay a cent

(Washington Post)

Trump once revealed his income tax returns. They showed he didn't pay a cent. = Hum? No wonder! In truth, shame. Deception and deceit expert's a very sly cheat.

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

How Birds Became Red

(Forbes)

How Birds Became Red = Described how? "Amber."

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Carolyn Lehrke

Key GOP Donors Still Deeply Resist Donald Trump's Candidacy

(The New York Times)

Key GOP donors still deeply resist Donald Trump's candidacy = Rotten, disliked, dodgy tycoon's rudely mindless crap appals!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Cory Doctorow

Tortoise in a baby stroller a novelty even for New Yorkers

(MSN)

Sulcata tortoise ~ causes total riot

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Via Tsuji

Mount Etna spews out lava in stunning volcanic display

(The Daily Telegraph)

Mount Etna, Sicily, Europe's highest active volcano = Civil emergency! Its cone spat out heinous hot lava.

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Could a Low-Salt Diet Hurt Your Health?

(US News & World Report)

Could a low-salt diet hurt your health? = Why use it all? Could hurt a lot...or death!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Raül Utrera

Genetically Engineered Crops Are Safe and Possibly Good for Climate Change

(Scientific American)

Genetically modified crops = Optimised cornfield legacy = Get fields rapidly economic

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: Chiot's Run

La. lawmaker wants strippers to be young and thin

(KFOR4)

La. lawmaker wants strippers to be young and thin = In bars we gawk at her slim, tan, nude top parts only

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

In Sit-Down With Donald Trump, Megyn Kelly Shows A Light Touch

(National Public Radio)

Megyn Kelly interviews Donald Trump = Still inwardly kept revenge on dummy

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

How fast is New Orleans sinking? Faster and faster, says new study

(Christian Science Monitor)

How fast is New Orleans sinking? Faster and faster, says new study = Wasn't funny, as settling down there's a risky affair! Woes! Sadness!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Don Graham

Fashion for a bird

(Yahoo!)

Fashion for a bird~brain. Hairdo's off!

Anagram: Robert Jordan, Photo: Ed Remedio/Caters News Agency

DNC to offer Sanders a convention concession

(Washington Post)

Contested convention = DNC's to not even notice

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Trevor Bexon