Johnny Depp hires top lawyer known as 'Disso Queen' to protect $400 million fortune

(The Daily Telegraph)

The Loyola graduate Laura Wasser = Adulterers' lawyer. Ah, a USA gal too!

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: GabboT

Python Bites Man's Penis After Emerging From Toilet in Thailand Home

(KTLA5)

Python emerges from toilet and bites man's penis, Thailand officials say = It is fallacy in method, for he sat. Yes, if a man pees standing, it's no problem!

Anagram: Dharam

Thousands of Trump supporters line up outside Convention Center

(The San Diego Union-Tribune)

Thousands of Trump supporters line up outside Convention Center = Indoctrinated puppets of Trump's nonsense cult: One Virtuous Hero!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: PhoenixVegan

Donald Trump Clinches GOP Nomination

(National Public Radio)

Donald Trump Clinches GOP Nomination = Strong and much epic poll "Don-mination"!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Obama Becomes First Sitting US President to Visit Hiroshima

(Time)

Obama becomes first sitting US President to visit Hiroshima = Top US visitor at grim atomic bomb site, he insists he's a friend

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Donald Trump Clinches Republican Nomination After Securing Required Delegates

(ABC News)

Donald Trump Clinches Republican Nomination After Securing Required Delegates = Final consequence: nightmares! A darned putrid, terrible, demonic lunatic, rules GOP

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Cory Doctorow

The superbug that doctors have been dreading just reached the US

(Washington Post)

"Nightmare bacteria" = CRE a big main threat

Anagram: Rosie Perera, Photo: Wikimedia

Donald Trump Clinches GOP Nomination

(National Public Radio)

Donald Trump clinches GOP nomination = I'm hoping Clinton can stop rude old man

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Elizabeth Warren trashes Trump as a "small, insecure money-grubber"

(CBS News)

Elizabeth Warren trashes Trump as a "small, insecure money-grubber" = "Him? Surly magnate amasses rarer wealth. Corrupt Beelzebub sinner!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Donald Trump Gives Gov. Susana Martinez a Poor Performance Review

(The New York Times)

Donald Trump Gives Gov. Susana Martinez a Poor Performance Review = Crazed saliva runs from avowed arrogant presumptive GOP nominee!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: LANL

Bill Cosby ordered to stand trial in decade-old sex assault case

(St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

Bill Cosby ordered to stand trial in decade-old sex assault case = It'll test sex-abuser's bad conscience, a real oily odd old dastard!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Ted Eytan

Project Fear to keep UK in Europe

(The Daily Telegraph)

The question: Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union = He mentioned no future. No hope. Heinous naïve anti-immigrant Europhobe Neanderthals queue to remodel UK

Anagram: Greig Templeton, Photo: Chris Goldberg

Squid And Octopus Population On The Rise

(RT)

Squid and octopus population on the rise = Or: Cephalopod quantities up, it sounds, no?

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: Ratha Grimes

Bill Clinton Says He Won't Mention Donald Trump, Then Does Three Times in a Campaign Speech

(ABC News)

Bill Clinton Says He Won't Mention Donald Trump, Then Does Three Times in a Campaign Speech = To mind: Bernie's the "opponent". That mindless maniac clown is "the other guy". Clean and simple.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Gage Skidmore

This Guy Got Breast Implants to Win a $100,000 Bet -- And he liked them so much that he had them for 20 years.

(Cosmopolitan)

A gambler/magician would like his size 38C breast implants removed after twenty years = Titter! Brian Zembic's lovely pecs (installed fake mammaries) won this guy a wager/dare

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Trump once revealed his income tax returns. They showed he didn't pay a cent

(Washington Post)

Trump once revealed his income tax returns. They showed he didn't pay a cent. = Hum? No wonder! In truth, shame. Deception and deceit expert's a very sly cheat.

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Caricature: DonkeyHotey

How Birds Became Red

(Forbes)

How Birds Became Red = Described how? "Amber."

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Carolyn Lehrke

Key GOP Donors Still Deeply Resist Donald Trump's Candidacy

(The New York Times)

Key GOP donors still deeply resist Donald Trump's candidacy = Rotten, disliked, dodgy tycoon's rudely mindless crap appals!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: Cory Doctorow

Tortoise in a baby stroller a novelty even for New Yorkers

(MSN)

Sulcata tortoise ~ causes total riot

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Via Tsuji

Mount Etna spews out lava in stunning volcanic display

(The Daily Telegraph)

Mount Etna, Sicily, Europe's highest active volcano = Civil emergency! Its cone spat out heinous hot lava.

Anagram: Jason Lofts