Stowaway Flew to Dubai in the Cargo Hold

(MSN)

Stowaway Flew to Dubai in the Cargo Hold = Boy outlier watched, saw a flaw, got on, hid

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Pieter van Marion

Sugar Land now has the world's most ridiculous selfie statue

(Houston Chronicle)

Sugar Land now has the world's most ridiculous selfie statue = Houston area grows damn tasteless with full, ludicrous side

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Trump secures the coveted Kim Jong Un endorsement

(Hot Air)

Donald Trump secures the coveted Kim Jong Un endorsement = North Korean scum delivered US judgement: Don's competent!

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Image: Elvert Barnes

Donald Trump perfectly summed up his life philosophy in just 6 words

(Washington Post)

"Why antagonize? Because I don't care." = He's one zany, awed, inaccurate bigot!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Image: A.Davey

Obama: America is not in decline

(PBS)

Obama: America is not in decline = No, I claim it's remained a beacon!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

MySpace and Tumblr hit by 'mega breach'

(BBC)

Social network = Control is weak

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Image: SocialGrow

The giant sucking sound of a third-party candidate

(Chicago Tribune)

The giant sucking sound of a third-party candidate = Huh. A gigantic dud for President? Can't stand it, okay?

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Joe Taylor

Twitter Just Unleashed on Trump for Chickening Out of Sanders Debate

(US Uncut)

Trump Officially Chickens Out of Sanders Debate = It could imply fears of fate: Sanders' Tub o' Chicken!

Anagram: Dharam, Image: Twitter

Cincinnati mourns gorilla killed to save boy

(USA Today)

Cincinnati mourns gorilla killed to save boy = I cry in revolt. Cages unkind to animals! I'll boo!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

This New Trailer for Blake Lively's Shark Movie The Shallows Is Buckwild Crazy

(Cosmopolitan)

US actor Blake Lively performs in film 'The Shallows' = Silly plot with a loco shark vs nimble female surfer

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Coke debuts 'proud to be an American' cans

(CNN)

Coke debuts 'proud to be an American' cans = Come on, drink a cup, and race to be best! USA!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: jeffliebig

Rise of Donald Trump Tracks Growing Debate Over Global Fascism

(The New York Times)

Rise of Donald Trump Tracks Growing Debate Over Global Fascism = Daft simpleton crowds flock to aggressive red mogul barbarian!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Image: Crash Symbols

Tragically Hip: The most Canadian band in the world

(BBC)

Tragically Hip = Airplay glitch?

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Mike Bouchard

Dr. Henry Heimlich, 96, performs lifesaving technique he invented for the FIRST TIME when a woman chokes on her hamburger in the seat beside him

(Daily Mail)

Doctor Heimlich actually gets to use his maneuver in reality = Aye, cult thrust integral, has live outcome. Nearly is homicide!

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Donald Trump backs down on Bernie Sanders debate challenge after saying he'd "love to debate" Hillary Clinton's Democratic primary opponent

(New York Daily News)

Donald Trump calls off debate with Bernie Sanders = The candidates promised for full brawl, end absent.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Andrew Bisdale

Rare "Pizzly" Or "Grolar" Bear Shot And Killed By Hunter In Canada

(Huffington Post)

Rare "pizzly" or "grolar" bear shot and killed by hunter in Canada = An unearned horrible attack on grizzly-polar hybrid. Real sad.

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Donald Trump: Clinton Not 'Presidential' - Because He Doesn't Like Her Voice

(The Wall Street Journal)

Donald Trump: Clinton Not 'Presidential' - Because He Doesn't Like Her Voice = Clinton: "Bloke's one pathetic, insane, muddled, pretentious arch-evildoer!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard, Photo: torbakhopper

And on the second day, God made the smiley face and the thumbs up: New translation of the Bible is written in EMOJI for millennials

(Daily Mail)

The King James Bible gets translated into Emoji = Here's 👿 (Satan) talking: "I'm ♨️ (testing) 😇 (Job)".
😫 (Job): "Let me 🔫 (die)!"

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Image: feryswheel

Johnny Depp hires top lawyer known as 'Disso Queen' to protect $400 million fortune

(The Daily Telegraph)

The Loyola graduate Laura Wasser = Adulterers' lawyer. Ah, a USA gal too!

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: GabboT

Python Bites Man's Penis After Emerging From Toilet in Thailand Home

(KTLA5)

Python emerges from toilet and bites man's penis, Thailand officials say = It is fallacy in method, for he sat. Yes, if a man pees standing, it's no problem!

Anagram: Dharam