Novak Djokovic beats Andy Murray to win French Open

(BBC)

Novak Djokovic betters Andy Murray to win the French Tennis Open tournament at last = Lanky Serbian "Joker" wins. Hard on tyro Scot. Much vaunted feat, top entertainment on TV.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

"Fountain of Youth" Pill Could Be a Reality Sooner Than You'd Think

(Yahoo!)

"Fountain of Youth" Pill = Any flu? Oh, put it in, fool!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas, Photo: Ken Banks

Norway becomes first country in the world to commit to zero deforestation

(The Independent)

Zero deforestation is ~ a forested zone or is it?

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: dan.kristiansen

Reviewing the 2016 Presidential Race

(WWL AM)

Who, may I ask, will be elected in as our President? = Beware...we see Donald Trump, his action is likely = I said, "Make Hillary Clinton use power! We'd be set!" = Bernie Sanders' policies would let him take way = Well, we'd seriously keep nicest Obama in a third! = To pick one leader by wit is hard; all seem unwise.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

First lady Obama takes swipe at Trump

(Fox News)

First lady Obama takes swipe at Trump = "Let's strip away mistake of a dumb trap!"

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Trump on black supporter: 'Look at my African-American over here'

(CNN)

'Look at my African-American over here' = In it, a mean, heavy remark of race/color.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Sanders: 'The Democratic National Convention will be a contested convention'

(CNN)

Sanders: 'The Democratic National Convention will be a contested convention' = Clinton can't win. Soon, I'll convince the nation, and create deserved boost at me.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Image: angela.thompson

Boxing legend Muhammad Ali dies at 74

(USA Today)

That sports legend, i.e. the true maestro of the boxing ring, Muhammad Ali, dies = "I am the greatest of all time!" He's this goddamned giant. Mourn the US boxer. RIP.

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Exchanges Photos

Why Politicians Are Like Diapers

(The Telegram & Gazette)

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason = Donald Trump: He's an arrogant (beep) cheesy nuisance. Hillary Rodham Clinton: She's going to be voted in ahead of him.

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Illustration: EN2008

NRA attacks Clinton over gun control

(The Hill)

NRA attacks Clinton over gun control=Can grant cover to kill? No. Can trust? No.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Ulkoministeriö

Donald Trump tweeted out 9 graphs proving that Obama failed. We fact-checked them.

(Washington Post)

Donald Trump tweeted out nine graphs proving that Obama failed. We fact-checked them. = Development: doubted data in this cropped chart. Awful whine attack from the mean egg.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: A.Davey

Mexican bullfighter 'El Pana' dies a month after being gored

(The Guardian)

The Mexican bullfighter 'El Pana' has died a month after being gored = Tetraplegic matador's in a fix, feeling unable to be mended. Arghhhh!

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Ronald Reagan was Donald Trump, until he was president

(BoingBoing)

Ronald Reagan was Donald Trump, until he was president = No, he was a star in Storm Warning...pulled and duped later.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Japan hails seven-year-old who survived being abandoned in forest

(The Daily Telegraph)

Japan hails seven-year-old who survived being abandoned in forest = Oh, joy! Inventive bad son safe, we learn. Punish lad's overbearing Dad!

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Paul Ryan just caved and admitted he'd vote for Donald Trump

(Vox)

Paul Ryan just caved and admitted he'd vote for Donald Trump = Approve of damn dud? Just try and remove that dull candidate!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: CWEB

Future Commander-in-Chief Hillary Clinton Eviscerates Donald Trump In Foreign Policy Address

(Blue Nation Review)

Future Commander-in-Chief Hillary Clinton eviscerates Donald Trump in foreign policy address = Virulent lady firmly condemned orange-haired fascist "red" opponent, crucifies him. Curtains, lol!

Anagram: Jason Lofts, US Embassy

The most valuable substances in the world by weight

(The Daily Telegraph)

Most valuable substances in the world by weight 1. Saffron 2. Beluga caviar 3. Platinum 4. Gold 5. Heroin 6. Rhinoceros horn 7. White truffle 8. Animal venom 9. Lysergic acid diethylamide 10. Plutonium 11. Soliris (registered trademark) 12. Tritium 13. A pink diamond 14. A rare British Guiana One-Cent Magenta postage stamp 15. Californium 16. Antimatter

=

1. Spice from Iran 2. Sturgeon eggs 3. Rare metal 4. Latin name is aurum 5. "Brown sugar" 6. Aphrodisiac 7. Tuber magnatum 8. Sting, viper/snake bite 9. Mr Hofman made it - it heavily impaired/stoned him 10. Unhealthful fissile material 11. Monoclonal antibody drug - ought to kill cancer 12. "Heavy" tritiated water 13. Carbon 14. Initialled E.D.W. 15. Cf 16. Positrons

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Bullion Vault

President Obama on Donald Trump: America Is Already Great

(Time)

President Obama on Donald Trump: America Is Already Great = I praise a grand imponderable dream: a country made to last

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Arnold Schwarzenegger records terrifying moment he's charged by wild elephant during safari

(The Daily Mirror)

Arnold Schwarzenegger records terrifying moment he's charged by wild elephant during safari = Terminator aggressed: He's cursing when confronted by wildlife hazard (large, erring pachyderm)

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Trump throws tantrum after reporters do their job

(CNN)

Trump throws tantrum after reporters do their job = Print words to harm or berate...or just tempt further?

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Mike Licht