Awks! Melania Trump cribs Michelle Obama's speech

(News24)

The United States First Lady Michelle Robinson Obama = But to the distaste of many, Melania cribs her old lines!

Anagram: Adie Pena

Melania Trump RNC speech appears to copy Michelle Obama talk

(New York Daily News)

Melania's a total retard copying Michelle Obama's speech. Invalid! Cruel contempt! Drunk men snort at her nerdiness! Shh! Learn! = Mr Donald Trump's main cheerleader at the convention has such large silicone breasts and really prominent cheek implants.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Trump Campaign Uses Every Excuse In The Book To Explain Melania's Plagiarism

(Huffington Post)

Melania Trump's Republican Convention speech = N...n...no! I can't run up Michelle Obama's perspective!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Donald Trump's history with women: adultery, objectification

(New York Daily News)

The Three Wives of The Republican Donald Trump: 1. Ivana Marie Zelnickova 2. Marla Marples 3. Melania Knauss

=

Hmm, a lustful bloke! We are: 1. A vain Czech skier 2. A rampant thespian adulterer 3. A prim, vain Slovenian model

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: WEBN-TV

GOP platform draft declares pornography 'public health crisis'

(CNN)

The Republican National Convention = Oh, I ban all porn! It can't even continue!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Gonorrhea May Soon Become Resistant To All Antibiotics And Untreatable

(PBS Newshour)

Gonorrhea drug resistance = Causing great, dense horror.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Nathan Reading

Trump, Pence debut as Republican party ticket

(WKYC)

Trump, Pence debut as Republican party ticket = Trump debuts pick: entire party unacceptable

Anagram: Chris Davis, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Failed Turkish coup

(The New York Times)

Failed Turkish coup = Coup had futile risk

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Truck Attack in Nice, France: What We Know, and What We Don't

(The New York Times)

Nice terror attack during Bastille Day = Truck riot directed against all nearby

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

German landlady bricks up couple's front door

(MSN)

Landlady bricks up couple's front door = Bold! Crappy! Stern Frau locks old duo in.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Ben Beltran

Newt Gingrich calls for 'Sharia tests' for all Muslims in the country after Nice attacks

(New York Daily News)

Newt Gingrich said: "We should frankly test every person from here who is of a Muslim background. And if they believe in Sharia, they should be deported." = What unreservedly unhinged gobbledygook! What deeply offensive Trumpery! Rebuke the man for his foolish words in haste. He is anti-Islamic. Red card!

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Boris Johnson: How Britain's new foreign secretary has insulted the world

(BBC)

Boris Johnson on Hillary Clinton: "She's got dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital." = Is this addled albino, a long-haired, slanderous popinjay, the best choice as British statesman? Personally, I kindly, sternly ululate "NO! NO! NO!"

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: London Gov

Australian man admits to amateur testicle surgery

(BBC)

An Australian man admits to some amateur testicle surgery = Tyro tries castrating a male. Stunt alarmed me. I am nauseous.

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Paul Evans

Saving Rare Ferrets With a Drone That Shoots M&Ms

(MSN)

Photo: USFWS Mountain-Prairie

Saving Rare Ferrets With a Drone That Shoots M&Ms = Far northern shots might avert most raw disease

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Saving Rare Ferrets With a Drone That Shoots M&Ms = start the Mars mission gets thrown far overhead

M&M's are made by Mars, Inc.

Anagram: Chris Davis

All the times Sanders called Wolf Blitzer Jake Tapper

(CNN)

Embed from Getty Images

Wolf Isaac Blitzer, the Cable News Network journalist = Wow...bizarre Bernie won't focus, then still calls at "Jake"!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Where art and science meet

(The New Zealand Herald)

The Australian performance artist Stelios Arcadiou = He places ear in arm for auscultation. So is it rated art?

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Thierry Ehrmann

Virginia man dies after 911 call considered accidental dial, reports say

(Cleveland.com)

Virginia man dies after 911 call considered accidental dial, reports say = 911 services' rapid act to decide if any call is meant as a drill or in danger.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: C. Holmes

Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos Is Barred From Running Lab for 2 Years

(The New York Times)

Theranos, Inc. = Sanction her!

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: TechCrunch

Security fears mount ahead of GOP convention

(CNN)

Security fears mount ahead of GOP convention = Of course, I can vote 'nay' in the ages of Don Trump. = Changes if you vote a con man OUT for President!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Jayel Aheram

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg intensifies criticism of Trump: 'He is a faker'

(CNN)

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg intensifies her criticism of Trump: 'He is a faker' = Cross feminist judge in rumpus, reiterating rich huckster is a fibber, a thief

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Photo: Wake Forest University School of Law