Pavarotti Widow Tells Trump to Stop Using 'Nessun Dorma' in Campaign

(NBC News)

The widow of Pavarotti: "Please stop using 'Nessun Dorma' for your campaign!" = Woeful towhead Trump adopts a very stunning messianic aria for GOP. Oops!

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Tim Kaine: Everything You Need to Know

(ABC News)

Virginia Senator Timothy Michael Kaine = I hear I may have girl's nomination ticket

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Fox News chief Ailes resigns after sexual harassment claims

(The Hollywood Reporter)

Fox News chief Roger Ailes resigns = Finis, exec oaf. He rogers newsgirls.

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

The Major Problem With "Make America Great Again"

(Cosmopolitan)

Donald Trump's election slogan is "Make America great again!" = Mascaraed Melania's a plagiarist, OK. Girl got denouncement.

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Cam Miller

Donald Trump Threatens the Ghostwriter of "The Art of the Deal"

(The New Yorker)

Donald Trump Threatens the Ghostwriter of "The Art of the Deal" = That real offended hothead to thwart them reporting results

Anagram: Chris Davis, Photo: Mike Licht

Three Problems with the Melania Trump Plagiarism Admission

(The New Yorker)

Model and designer Melania Knauss Trump = Slender mum and one unmasked plagiarist!

Anagram: Adie Pena

Prosecutors appeal 'shockingly lenient' Pistorius sentence

(Daily Mail)

"We respectfully submit that the sentence of six years imprisonment, in all the circumstances, is disproportionate to the crime of murder committed... that is to say, shockingly too lenient" = Yes, in this extract the National Prosecuting Authority metes out criticism most felt of the marked clemency shown to the limbless defendant, onetime Olympic sprinter Oscar Pistorius

Anagram: Jason Lofts, Cartoon: Roy Blumenthal

Did Melania Trump lie about graduating?

(The New Zealand Herald)

Melania = A lie, man!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas, Photo: WEBN-TV

Artist Builds Mini Wall Around Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame Star

(NBC News)

Artist Builds Mini Wall Around Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame Star = How a brilliant work totally disrupted a famous US man's film world!

Anagram: Adie Pena

Artist Builds Mini Wall Around Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame Star = Tourist walkway artform: Small, odd, dumber, wishful isolation plan

Anagram: Chris Davis

Did Melania Trump lie about graduating?

(The New Zealand Herald)

Melania Trump lies about her graduation = A Euro laureate using intro: B.A., M.A., M.Lit. Ph.D!

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: Marc Nozell

Awks! Melania Trump cribs Michelle Obama's speech

(News24)

The United States First Lady Michelle Robinson Obama = But to the distaste of many, Melania cribs her old lines!

Anagram: Adie Pena

Melania Trump RNC speech appears to copy Michelle Obama talk

(New York Daily News)

Melania's a total retard copying Michelle Obama's speech. Invalid! Cruel contempt! Drunk men snort at her nerdiness! Shh! Learn! = Mr Donald Trump's main cheerleader at the convention has such large silicone breasts and really prominent cheek implants.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Trump Campaign Uses Every Excuse In The Book To Explain Melania's Plagiarism

(Huffington Post)

Melania Trump's Republican Convention speech = N...n...no! I can't run up Michelle Obama's perspective!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Donald Trump's history with women: adultery, objectification

(New York Daily News)

The Three Wives of The Republican Donald Trump: 1. Ivana Marie Zelnickova 2. Marla Marples 3. Melania Knauss

=

Hmm, a lustful bloke! We are: 1. A vain Czech skier 2. A rampant thespian adulterer 3. A prim, vain Slovenian model

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Photo: WEBN-TV

GOP platform draft declares pornography 'public health crisis'

(CNN)

The Republican National Convention = Oh, I ban all porn! It can't even continue!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Gonorrhea May Soon Become Resistant To All Antibiotics And Untreatable

(PBS Newshour)

Gonorrhea drug resistance = Causing great, dense horror.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Photo: Nathan Reading

Trump, Pence debut as Republican party ticket

(WKYC)

Trump, Pence debut as Republican party ticket = Trump debuts pick: entire party unacceptable

Anagram: Chris Davis, Illustration: DonkeyHotey

Failed Turkish coup

(The New York Times)

Failed Turkish coup = Coup had futile risk

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Truck Attack in Nice, France: What We Know, and What We Don't

(The New York Times)

Nice terror attack during Bastille Day = Truck riot directed against all nearby

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

German landlady bricks up couple's front door

(MSN)

Landlady bricks up couple's front door = Bold! Crappy! Stern Frau locks old duo in.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson, Photo: Ben Beltran