Man stuck down loo over lost phone

(MSN)

Man stuck down loo over lost phone = Oops! No! Could not stank overwhelm?

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Photo: Lee Brimelow

Naked Donald Trump Statues Pop Up In Cities Across the US

(dfw.com)

Naked Donald Trump Statues Pop Up In Cities Across the US = Trump Poses. Stuck Up Candidate Sues Lot. (Hand/Penis Ratio.)

Anagram: Jeffrey Barnes
Photo: torbakhopper

Hillary Clinton takes aim at Donald Trump's ties to 'alt-right' world of radical conservatives

(Los Angeles Times)

Hillary Clinton takes aim at Donald Trump's ties to 'alt-right' world of radical conservatives = GOP's rot: White nationalism's dastardly evil, cold, dark, rotten, ill, chauvinist, malefactor rat.

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Cartoon: Jon Riley

Why Donald Trump's disparagement of Hillary Clinton as a 'bigot' won't work

(Washington Post)

Why Donald Trump's disparagement of Hillary Clinton as a 'bigot' won't work = That'll bring flops, and crowds only adopting "I know you are, what am I?" terms.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Photo: A. Davey

Doctors Remove 40 Knives From Man's Stomach In 5-Hour Operation

(Medical Daily)

Doctors remove forty knives from man's stomach = It's the "Carve Syndrome" (most favor common forks)

Anagram: Dharam Khalsa

Driving Lessons in a Supercar

(MSN)

Driving lessons in a supercar ~ signals insurance providers

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Photo: Vapi Photographie

Wearing a burkini is a 'provocation', says former French president Nicolas Sarkozy

(The Independent)

Wearing the burkini is 'provocation' = To cavort in a bikini is grownup here

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Photo: bellmon1

A guide to Hillary Clinton's many 'illnesses,' as diagnosed in the conservative media

(Washington Post)

A guide to Hillary Clinton's many 'illnesses,' as diagnosed in the conservative media = Strongly accused, having a valid disease...lots to say. Need I mention, "ILL" is in her name?

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Photo: Oslo City Hall

Donald Trump Tests Positive for Everything, According to His Own Doctor

(Newsweek)

Donald Trump Tests Positive for Everything, According to His Own Doctor = Very odd report? Vain words hint at it's pettish mogul's forged concoction?!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Thetortmaster

Stanford University Bans Hard Alcohol at Campus Parties in Wake of Brock Turner Sex Assault Case

(KTLA5)

Frustrated and dangerous ~ Stanford undergraduates

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Photo: John Loo

Usain showed me his lightning Bolt - and I couldn't resist! Brazilian, 20, tells how sprinter smuggled her into Olympic village for night of passion (and it was a marathon, not a sprint)

(Daily Mail)

The legendary Olympic sprinter Usain Bolt = Leering sport star laid coy nubile nymphet

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Photo: Nick Webb

Donald Trump's poll numbers are so bad his supporters are making up new ones

(Vox)

Donald Trump's poll numbers are so bad his supporters are making up new ones = Assume the opponent won. Blame press bias? Drill grand, sparked-up rumours? NO.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

"Says Who?" Thinking Is Ruining America

(Time)

Michael Cohen, the newly-situated lawyer and spokesperson for Donald Trump
=
"Trump and Pence are rusty - indeed, down in the race."
"Says who?"
"Polls. All of them."
"OK."

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Donald Trump's God Problem

(Newsweek)

Donald Trump's Christian faith = And is this crud half-important?

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Photo: Kristoffer Trolle

London Night Tube to serve 50,000 a weekend

(The New Zealand Herald)

Bundling onto the ~ London Night Tube

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Tom Page

Rio Olympics: Usain Bolt wins golden triple triple with Jamaican win in 4x100m

(Stuff.co.nz)

The Jamaican Usain Bolt wins the 'triple triple' ~ with ebullient sprint. Japan trails. Oh, ace time.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Photo: Yngve Roennike

Donald Trump's media obsession led him to hire the head of a far-right news site to run his campaign

(Los Angeles Times)

Embed from Getty Images

Donald Trump's media obsession led him to hire the head of a far-right news site to run his campaign = O! What??? Odious mad dog Trump hires his mirror image! Aide's the lethal fascist fiend, Stephen Bannon!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

The Donald trying to win black votes

(Business Insider)

"You're living in poverty. Your schools are no good. Fifty-eight percent of your youth is unemployed. What the hell do you have to lose?" = Huh? Sorry evil guy nice try! Honestly, your empty offer is loopy. We love a GOOD idea - to push negativity culture on the hood? Eh? No, FOOL!

Anagram: Chris Davis
Photo: Johnny Silvercloud

Tarnished gold: US apologizes for swimmers' false robbery tale

(Bellingham Herald)

Controversial US athletes at the Olympics: Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger, James Feigen, Ryan Lochte = Brazil cops just caught them lying. Larceny's not a joke here, contravenes clear intent of Games

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Quiz: Who Said It, Donald Trump Or Forrest Gump?

(Huffington Post)

"Hello, my name is Forrest, Forrest Gump" = Mr Trump's a goofy shlemiel, errs often

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Eric Bru