Sarasota County relaxes food truck rules

(Herald-Tribune)

Sarasota County relaxes food truck rules = Car cooks use extra fuel around stray lots

Anagram: Chris Davis
Photo: Sacha Fernandez

Donald Trump rushed off stage amid disturbance at Reno rally

(Las Vegas Review-Journal)

Donald Trump rushed off stage amid disturbance at Reno rally = Protester gun? No! That day's all scrambled, I found a dud firearm.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

Comey says latest emails don't change FBI conclusion on Clinton

(PBS)

Comey says latest emails don't change FBI conclusion on Clinton = Facts: No illegal, slimy conduct, no case. So...maybe innocent? No shit!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Photo: Mike Licht

Inside Donald Trump's Last Stand: An Anxious Nominee Seeks Assurance

(The New York Times)

Steve Bannon, Trump's chief executive officer = Next, ice bum over such effective "pants on fire"!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

The Trump who stole Christmas: Win or lose, Donald Trump has ruined everything

(Salon)

The Trump who stole Christmas: Win or lose, Donald Trump has ruined everything = Worst: Put together Hitler and Mussolini, and we've sly, horrid, sham con Trump, eh?

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Student gets sweet revenge on thief

(MSN)

Student gets sweet revenge on thief = Tweet to vent surges. He nets feeding.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Trump's "assassination attempt"

(Vox)

Trump's "assassination attempt" = Sap's assumption taints matter

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: IoSonoUnaFotoCamera

Brexit: All you need to know about the UK leaving the EU

(BBC)

The Key Players in the Brexit Disaster 1. Boris Johnson 2. Angela Merkel 3. Francois Hollande 4. Nicola Sturgeon 5. Nigel Farage 6. David Cameron 7. Theresa May

=

1. A fervid xenophobe. He's a rat 2. A sullen German 3. A slimy Frenchman 4. A Scottish joke 5. Intolerable redneck, an idiot 6. A greedy Tory liar 7. An English ogress

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: H. Michael Karshis

Also see:

• British Prime Minister David Cameron to resign this week

Presidential race stirs emotions

(Herald-Tribune)

Presidential race stirs emotions = Secrets, lies, a riot, and prison time!

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Photo: Lorie Shaull

Miss Bumbum Pageant Is Getting Crucified For This 'Last Supper' Photo

(Huffington Post)

Miss Bumbum Pageant Is Getting Crucified For This 'Last Supper' Photo = Rump's image ached! But bottom line is: ass picture's hot gripping stuff!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Diver may have found 'lost nuke' missing since cold war off Canada coast

(The Guardian)

This nuclear bomb is found by diver in ~ British Columbia. Find unnerved boys.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Photo: Wikimedia

Quentin Tarantino says he's retiring after his next two movies

(GameSpot)

Quentin Tarantino says he's retiring after his next two movies = Finish with an intense exit...? or start over...? Many great questions.

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Photo: Superfloop

Melania Trump gives rare speech

(The Australian)

Melania Trump gives rare speech = Cheer supreme plagiarist maven

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Also see:
Melania Trump's "Pussy Bow" Blouse Sure Made A Statement
Did Melania Trump lie about graduating?

San Diego Catholic church says devil works through Hillary Clinton

(Yahoo!)

San Diego Catholic church says devil works through Hillary Clinton = Shocking words: Hurry, choosing that lady is actual hell, chronic evil!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Photo: Karen

Poll Worker Injured By Trump Sign Booby-Trapped With Razor Blades

(Huffington Post)

Poll Worker Injured By Trump Sign Booby-Trapped With Razor Blades = When bizarre morbid jerks truly want pure blood drops, apply bigot

Anagram: Christopher Davis

Pope Francis says the Catholic Church will probably never have female priests

(Washington Post)

Pope Francis says the Catholic Church will probably never have female priests = Blunt chap has policy answer: Hierarchy of celibate cripples favor themselves!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Photo: Paval Hadzinski

Also see:
Cardinal George Pell has to resign, or Pope Francis must act
Pope Francis picks Lionel Messi over Maradona and Pele as best player ever

Units of measure are getting a fundamental upgrade

(ScienceNews)

Units of measure are getting a fundamental upgrade = Gauge gurus meet up, draft, and name fine alterations

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Photo: Helga Weber

Samsung to cripple Galaxy Note7 replacement smartphones as total recall continues

(News.com.au)

The Samsung Galaxy Note Seven = HUGE nasty snag vexes men a lot!

Anagram: Adie Pena
Photo: iphonedigital

Also see:
Samsung scraps Galaxy Note 7 over fire concerns

Chicago Cubs beat Cleveland Indians to win first World Series title since 1908

(The Guardian)

The Chicago Cubs beat the Cleveland Indians to win World Series = How it's given a renewed chance to ditch its old curse in baseball!

Anagram: Adie Pena
Photo: Cindy Mc

Also see:
The latest Cubs curse? His name is Corey Kluber

Real Life Cowboy Lassoes Thief in Walmart Parking Lot

(Country Rebel)

Real life cowboy lassoes thief in Walmart parking lot = Fellow on horseback ropes a man. Wait--first, illegality!

Anagram: Dharam

Also see:
Rancher lassoes thief
Emu lassoed on Arizona highway