Santa makes virtual visit to sick children in hospital

(Global News)

Santa makes virtual visit to sick children in hospital = St Nick visual link a pediatiric salve to this short man

Anagram: Mark McNamara

Kim 'wants a divorce' from Kanye

(The New Zealand Herald)

Kim 'wants a divorce' from Kanye = OK, a very sick man made rift now.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alexis

Jennifer Lawrence: "I almost killed a sound guy with my butt!"

(The Oregonian)

Jennifer Lawrence: "I almost killed a sound guy with my butt!" = Funny, seated rock will tumble when I adjust my tail region!

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Red Carpet Report

Sarasota man busted for looking up women's skirts

(WWSB)

Sarasota man busted for looking up women's skirts = So fringe Wal-Mart dumbass took spontaneous risk?

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Image: Mike Kalasnik

Donald Trump Is Time's Person of the Year, to No One's Surprise

(The New York Times)

Donald Trump "President of the divided states of America" = Demented, putrid, sordid mad ape, starts in the Oval Office!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Why is a blue cloud appearing over Antarctica?

(Christian Science Monitor)

Why is a blue cloud appearing over Antarctica? = Watched a cupric nebula. Or is it a vapory angel?

Anagram: Madhusudan
Image: NASA

Donald Trump Has Now Criticized "Biased" SNL Three Times on Twitter

(Slate.com)

Donald Trump Has Now Criticized "Biased" SNL Three Times on Twitter = In short, tweet-addicted nit's a monster ill bum in power-crazed shit!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: torbakhopper

Carrier Got A Taxpayer Handout Because Trump Holds Investment In Their Parent Company

(PoliticusUSA)

Carrier Got A Taxpayer Handout Because Trump Holds Investment In Their Parent Company = I hope and pray that via letter rearrangement I may expose this man - snub corrupt conduct!

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Image: editrixie

What Sacha Baron Cohen's Next Crazy Comedy Will Be About

(CinemaBlend)

Sacha Baron Cohen alter ego clues: 1. Alistair Graham 2. Crass road movie title role 3. Gay farce (he's a loser) 4. Big bad guy struts round in dictator film

=

A list of this British actor's four most outrageously comical screen characters: 1. Ali G 2. Borat Sagdiyev 3. Brüno Gehard 4. Admiral General Aladeen

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Kempton

End of Fidel's era

(Washington Post)

Cuba carries Fidel Castro to final resting place = Agile fans cancel rest for epic dictator's burial

Anagram: Madhusudan
Image: Mídia NINJA

US Army Corps of Engineers denies DAPL easement for Lake Oahe

(KFYR-TV)

US Army Corps of Engineers denies DAPL easement for Lake Oahe = From chief: outspokenness near oil area merely ended passage

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Image: Fibonacci Blue

American Airlines flight attendants want new uniforms recalled

(CNN)

American Airlines' flight attendant uniforms = Alien material inducing rash/torment in staff

Anagram: Rosie Perera

Andrew Sachs, the much loved Fawlty Towers actor, dies aged 86

(The Daily Telegraph)

The famous British actor/humorist Andreas "Andrew" Sachs (he played poor Manuel in 'Fawlty Towers') has died after a private battle with dementia. "If he go, I go." Basil "Well, goodbye!" Requiescat in pace=That dear esteemed twit, a daft, bug-eyed Spanish waiter from Catalonia who helped rude gringo Basil and wife Sybil with a hotel in Torquay. "Como?" "He's from Barcelona." "Si." "That is surprise!" Vale. Peace.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Insomnia Cured Here

Shouting match erupts between Clinton and Trump aides

(Washington Post)

Shouting match erupts between Clinton and Trump aides = War? Big No! POTUS elect and HRC must step in and unite them.

Anagram: Madhusudan
Image: DonkeyHotey

Donald Trump, Loser-in-Chief. Our next president cannot stand that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote

(Rolling Stone)

Donald Trump, Loser-in-Chief. Our next president cannot stand that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote - and America will suffer for it = Land's horror! With an imprudent, all-powerful, rant-lusted, lip-treacherous, moronic and fattest, toxic ninny, planted in the Oval Office!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Laurel L. Russwurm

The Inventor of the Big Mac Has Died

(Fortune)

"Oh man, I would never have dreamed that my creation would become a piece of Americana." Michael Delligatti = He made meat feed a revolutionary, hip, ultracommercial idea. Damn, we love and we loathe the iconic Big Mac!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Sebastián Dario

Google Translate AI invents its own language

(New Scientist)

Google Translate AI invents its own language = Giant neural net was negotiating; solves goal

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Image: quapan

Massive natural gas pipeline explosion reported near Platte City

(Twitter)

Massive natural gas pipeline explosion reported near Platte City = Plant manager insists all people inside exit or evacuate property

Anagram: Christopher Davis

Trump Vows Steps to Avoid Appearance of Business Conflicts

(The New York Times)

Trump Vows Steps to Avoid Appearance of Business Conflicts = "Complaints about suspected view of favors in press can stop!"

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Paul Frankenstein

How long before the white working class realizes Trump was just scamming them?

(Washington Post)

How long before the white working class realizes Trump was just scamming them? = Well, news sizes that bum up: The jerk's a lowest, swaggering, horrific, mammoth con!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Elvert Barnes