Donald Trump gave a doozy of a speech at the National Prayer Breakfast

(Washington Post)

"The world is in trouble, but we're going to straighten it out. OK? That's what I do. I fix things. We're going to straighten it out. Believe me. When you hear about the tough phone calls I'm having, don't worry about it. Just don't worry about it. They're tough. We have to tough ... We're taken advantage of by every nation in the world virtually. It's not going to happen anymore."
=
"O! Hosanna! Trust Twitter Star, Donald Trump, sonny!
I arose the out-and-out Toughest Ever Ego Trip Fixer in power on Earth!
I vow:
By building a leviathan ten foot high wall
By tweeting tough rot too
By tweeting even tougher shit
By tweeting even tougher dirty shit
By tough hoodwinking to win
By tough torture too
Hallelujah! I vow to Make America Hate Again!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Der Spiegel

Pregnant Beyonce photo mesmerises America

(BBC)

Behold white cynics ~ Beyonce's with child

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Nikki Haley Blasts Russia in First Remarks at UN Security Council

(Yahoo!)

US Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley = I hate bad attitude: shame on kinky Russian loons!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas

Donald Trump UK state visit to be debated in Parliament

(CNN)

A Donald Trump UK state visit to be debated in Parliament = Invitee mistake! Dump dire blatant petulant dastard! BOO!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: IoSonoUnaFotoCamera

Psychologists warn Donald Trump 'displays all the classic signs of being mentally ill narcissist'

(The Daily Mirror)

President Donald Trump's grandiose mental instability = Oddest Paladin tried banning Muslims entirely at ports

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: IoSonoUnaFotoCamera

Merkel 'explains' refugee convention to Trump in phone call

(The Guardian)

"Keep foreigners out! US cannot vet them." Inept nerd ~ President Trump's take on the refugee convention

Trump's take on the refugee convention = Keep foreigners out! UN cannot vet them

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Quinn Norton

Trump's wild first week in office was like nothing ever seen in the presidency

(Business Insider)

Trump's wild first week in office was like nothing ever seen in the presidency = He's unfit! Frankenstein Monster type's wielding his fierce, evil, wicked power!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: james o'hanlon

US Commando Killed in Yemen in Trump's First Counterterrorism Operation

(The New York Times)

US Commando Killed in Yemen in Trump's First Counterterrorism Operation = In reality, order put on from President struck some in normal communities

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Walter

What is an executive order? And how do President Trump's stack up?

(Washington Post)

An executive order = A decree to vex, ruin

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: quinn norton

He Will Not Divide Us: Shia LaBeouf arrested on camera during protest livestream

(The Independent)

hewillnotdivide.us = Lies undid with love

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

US judges limit Trump immigration order; some officials ignore rulings

(Reuters)

US judges limit Trump immigration order; some officials ignore rulings = Muslims got justice amid profiling rule aimed for terrorism going in US

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Joe Piette

Trump's first major test is travel ban uproar

(Yahoo!)

Trump's first major test is travel ban uproar = Firm protests burn at airports...just a marvel.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Joe Piette

Green card holders will need additional screening: White House

(Reuters)

A Green Card holder in the US = "No rights here!" declared Anu

"You and I see the Middle Eastern Green Card holders have not got ~ any rights here!" declares a determined Donald. Veto. He's out! Gone!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Peg Hunter

Trump's latest executive order: Banning people from 7 countries and more

(CNN)

Trump's latest executive order: Banning people from seven countries and more = True, most get moved...*pause*...except culprits from San Bernardino or Nine-Eleven

Note: The San Bernardino and 9/11 attacks are highly referenced by Trump as examples of why a Muslim ban might be necessary.

The seven countries that Trump has on his list so far are Iraq, Syria, Iran, Libya, Somalia, Sudan and Yemen. Remember that list.

15 of the 19 hijackers in the 9/11 attacks were citizens of Saudi Arabia, 2 were from the United Arab Emirates, 1 was from Egypt, and 1 was from Lebanon. The perpetrators of the San Bernardino attacks were Tashfeen Malik and Rizwan Farook. Tashfeen Malik was born in Pakistan, and Rizwan Farook was born in...Chicago, Illinois.

If you paid attention, exactly 0 of these countries were on Trump's initial list. However, he is currently leader of one of those countries.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Rob Walsh

How Donald Trump, Theresa May are the 2017 version of '80s power couple Reagan-Thatcher

(USA Today)

Two Odd Couples: (President of the United States of America, British Prime Minister) Ronald Reagan and Maggie Thatcher Donald Trump and Theresa Mary May

=

"Gipper" actor had dementia "Iron Lady" - horrid shrill termagant Fornicator, madman, nut. Deranged ape tweets to fume "Maybe" - unsophisticated 'headmistress'.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Karl-Ludwig Poggemann

You're a victim with one word in 'Can you hear me?' phone scam

(USA Today)

"Can you hear me?" scam warning = Ring came once? Sham! Run away!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Nathan Rupert

John Hurt obituary

(The Guardian)

Eminent English actor Sir John Vincent Hurt has died = John Hurt's riveting roles did enchant in the cinemas

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Sam

Starbucks: Crowded stores turned off customers

(USA Today)

Starbucks: Crowded stores turned off customers = Rest, drunkard sorts, succumbed to worst coffees

Anagram: Madhu Rao
Image: Jim McDonough

Did Sean Spicer Tweet Out His Password?

(Snopes.com)

Did Sean Spicer Tweet Out His Password? = Shrewd code snippet was tied to Russia.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow

City council swears-in super hero ... kind of

(CNN)

San Jose Councilman Lan Diep's superheroic oath = Oh, son's lone shield conjures up Captain America.

Anagram: Rosie Perera