GOP Makes Good On 2009 Promise To Block President's Healthcare Bill

(The Onion)

The US healthcare bill is ~ bullshit, heartache, lies

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: scottmontreal

Spinach Leaf Transformed Into Beating Human Heart Tissue

(National Geographic)

Tissue engineering = Tie in greens? Genius!

Anagram: Rosie Perera

THE HUNT GOES ON When did Madeleine McCann disappear, what age would she be, what kidnapping theories are there and how much has the case cost?

(The Sun)

The McCann family (Gerry, Kate and Madeleine Beth) from Leicester, England, who sensationally lost their adorable daughter in Praia da Luz, Portugal, nine years ago=Namely, a reasonable father (an astute cardiologist) and elegant mother (a blonde GP). The unlucky prize, an alarmingly winsome three-year-old girl, had an iris defect.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Trump to GOP critics of health care bill: "I'm gonna come after you"

(Washington Post)

GOP Healthcare Plan = Poll: Heartache Pang

Anagram: Erin Neathery
Image: IoSonoUnaFotoCamera

Julia, the new autistic Sesame Street Muppet

(National Public Radio)

Julia, the new autistic Sesame Street Muppet = Hi, I'm just a sweet, cute pupil. See me star at ten.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Engineer Creates Sex Robot That Needs To Be Romanced First

(Huffington Post)

Interactive Spanish sex robot ~ cavorts. I enter. It banishes pox.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Pot plants at the fair

(Newsday)

Pot plants at the fair = that pleasant profit

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Eliot Phillips

Rock and roll legend Chuck Berry dies

(BBC)

Followers mourn as the legendary musician Chuck Berry dies = Cry tears - rich edgy blues, awesome rock 'n roll unified humans = His rich edgy blues, awesome rock 'n roll unify races - damn true!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: H. Michael Karshis

Comey's probe, Trump's impeachment, and slapping Russia

(NJ.com)

Massive epic anagram Gets truth To honest men

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Vote Trump! MAGA! ... Then oh, giant mess! Resistance!

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The US government Is coming Apart at the Seams!

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Others investigate Trump's Management. Chaos!

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Treason! Must avenge; Go start His impeachment!

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Image: Tim Dennell

'Militant' anti-smoking monkey

(UPI)

This militant Indonesian macaque ~ is maniac; and is quite anti-menthol.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Donald Trump's nonstop lies are failing him

(Chicago Tribune)

Anagram: An elderly guy called Keith, Mislaid his set of false teeth. They'd been laid on a chair, He'd forgot they were there, Sat down, and was bitten beneath.

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The Donald's a fake story nit, Who tweets belligerent shit! Hey! He's a rage-horrible cad, So tweet-demented and bad! Yeah! A lie-filthy leech and unfit!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Jürgen Telkmann

A dark St. Patrick's Day with Asbury Park's Cold Seas

(Asbury Park Press)

Saint Patrick's Day = Kids' satanic party

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

President Trump Is Now Completely Isolated In His Unfounded Wiretap Claim

(Time)

President Trump Is Now Completely Isolated In His Unfounded Wiretap Claim = A simple-minded dimwit-dope, unrepentant wilful lout's conspiracy theories!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: torbakhopper

'Narcissist' bird stares

(UPI)

"I just like to stare at myself in the window."

'Narcissist' bird stares, ~ its bird raciness stars

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Senate intelligence panel rejects Trump wiretap claim

(BBC)

Wiretap = Aw, tripe!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jack Lawrence

Oklahoma lawmaker arrested on child prostitution charges

(Yahoo!)

Senator Ralph Shortey = So, arrest the horny pal!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas

Learning that we're all Trump's victims

(Daily Hampshire Gazette)

Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, Pride = Ugh! Grisly, nutty, lowest pervert, The Donald.

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Stephen Melkisethian

Ivana Trump to write a memoir of 'motherhood, resilience and strength' - raising three children with Donald Trump

(The Daily Telegraph)

Ivana Trump seeks to write a 'show and tell' memoir = How repellent! Woman is a retard. It makes us vomit!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Miss Shari

In challenge to Trump, 17 Republicans in Congress join fight against global warming

(Reuters)

In challenge to Trump, Seventeen Republicans in Congress join fight against global warming = Best process! Men arguing on failing climate change will turn the plan into saving green jobs.

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Mario Piperni

Who is Sophie Taylor? Meet the blonde Australian model spending time with Prince William on ski trip

(Yahoo!)

Sophie Taylor = Oh, I royal's pet!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas