A Portland Teen's Pet Snake Got Stuck in Her Earlobe

(Atlas Obscura)

A Portland Teen's Pet Snake Got Stuck in Her Earlobe = Oh! Taken aback, patient ER personnel do get results.

Anagram: Dharam

Should we tell Jeff Sessions where Pearl Harbor is?

(The Times-Picayune)

Attorney General Sessions' "Judge sitting on an island in the Pacific" comment = Is so ignorant! He fails at judgement and consistency. Time to resign. Nice plan!

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Image: DonkeyHotey

Host Bill O'Reilly fired from Fox News

(The New Zealand Herald)

Fox News has fired famed host O'Reilly = Heard of him? A wily sex offender's lost

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: DonkeyHotey

Serena Williams reveals she is 20 weeks pregnant with first child

(The Daily Telegraph)

Serena Williams says "I am pregnant!" = News: Tennis player's a mama. Is a girl?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Robert Ball

April the giraffe finally gives birth in front of 1.2 million online fans

(Stuff.co.nz)

At long last April the giraffe has given birth to a male calf online in New York = Every halfwit's hellbent on looking at that African animal's life. Groan! Gripe!

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Violet Brown is oldest human

(UPI)

Violet Brown is oldest human = She's not built normal, I vowed

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Trump signs "Buy American, Hire American" order

(CNN)

Donald Trump signs "Buy American, Hire American" order = Random gremlin, "But sir, your red caps are made in China!"

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Lorie Shaull

North Korea surprises with display of new missiles

(CNN)

That notorious insane Hermit Kingdom of ~ North Korea summons inane idiot to fight

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Matt Brown

Trump and North Korea: Climbing the escalation ladder

(Yahoo!)

Trump and North Korea = Dark pattern, no humor

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Image: Daniel Arrhakis

North Korea "on the brink of war" with the US?

(CBS News)

A hefty brew in North Korea = They are on the brink of war

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Ninian Reid

Trump reverses course on several campaign positions

(New York Post)

Versus preterm ~ Trump reverses

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Matt Brown

Putin meets with Tillerson over Syria

(The New Zealand Herald)

Putin meets with Tillerson over Syria ~ while insane tyro Trump strives to lie

Anagram: Julian Lofts

White House on edge as 100-day judgment nears

(Politico)

The symbolic 100-day performance appraisal = Ay, 0/10 for a shambolic, crappy, lame president

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alan

Dead Bat Found In Fresh Express Salad Prompts Recall

(Huffington Post)

A headline: "Bad taste - danger! ~ a dead bat in the green salad."

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Logan Ward

North Korea issues warning as US strike group heads to Korean Peninsula

(CNN)

US aircraft carrier strike group heads towards Korean Peninsula = So, are we for sure planning to risk a crude hard surprise air attack?

Anagram: Rosie Perera
Image: jennybento

AP Just Confirmed Our Worst Fears About Syria’s Chemical Attack

AP Just Confirmed Our Worst Fears About Syria’s Chemical Attack (RT)

AP just confirmed our worst fears about Syria's chemical attack = That a mum Russia knew of Assad's projectile by aircraft to occur

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Oxfam

Tillerson, on Eve of Russia Trip, Takes Hard Line on Syria

(The New York Times)

Can We Trust Rex Tillerson in Moscow? = Winless clown courts exterminator

Anagram: Erin Neathery
Image: UNC - CFC - USFK

Jake Tapper Mocks Donald Trump For Handing Jared Kushner So Much Power

(Huffington Post)

Jake Tapper Mocks Donald Trump For Handing Jared Kushner So Much Power = Grrr! Dump jumped-up fake jerk Donald NOW! He's an arch-nepotist sham crook!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Miniature Godzilla invades mom's college classroom

(UPI)

My teacher's son is off for spring break and she brought him to class in his Godzilla costume pic.twitter.com/2lL4oKoD9B

— Natty (@ngmferguson) April 4, 2017

Godzilla goes to school = Gosh, do call zoologiste

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Stinky cooking odours constitute a crime, Italy's supreme court rules

(The Daily Telegraph)

Olfactory molestation = O to smell of an atrocity

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alpha