Anthony Joshua beats Wladimir Klitschko in 11-round TKO win to snare boxing heavyweight title

(ABC News)

Joshua beat Klitschko = He jabs at stoic hulk. KO!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Karl-Ludwig Poggemann F

Trump declares May First as Loyalty Day

(Twitter)

Trump declares May First as Loyalty Day = Smartly decrypt a date of my ally: Russia!

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Image: Duncan C

New York Times Readers Are Canceling Subscriptions Over Climate-Denying Writer

(Huffington Post)

NYT Readers Are Canceling Subscriptions Over Climate-Denying Writer = Livid, I cry a cry: "Times can't print lies as "news". Recant! Be green, or go under!"

Anagram: Rosie Perera
Image: Sam Chills

United Airlines investigates giant bunny death

(BBC)

The death of a giant bunny called Simon ~ on a United flight's a banal comedy then

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Lee Summers

Trump Says He Thought Being President Would Be Easier Than His Old Life

(Huffington Post)

"I loved my previous life. I had so many things going. This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier." (Donald Trump) = Putrid Trump, in a foul mood, dislikes being President. "Ow! I have a very rough life now. The roughest. I miss having no limit to my holidays."

Anagram: Rosie Perera
Image: Alan Grinberg

Jonathan Demme, director of The Silence of the Lambs, dies at 73

(BBC)

The brilliant master filmmaker/producer/screenwriter Robert Jonathan Demme has died from oesophageal cancer and heart disease in New York City, America = Major career earner renowned as director ('Silence of the Lambs', 'Philadelphia' [starring Hanks], 'Married to the Mob'). Made wacky yet terrific documentaries. Amen.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Bruno Chatelin

Celebrate National Pretzel Day at Walt Disney World Resort!

(Yahoo!)

National Pretzel Day = Lazy diner, plan to eat!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Image: Adrea Young

Donald Trump isn't learning from his mistakes

(CNN)

Donald Trump isn't learning from his mistakes = A thin-skinned, flop-ass, grim, ultra-dim monster!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Matteo Bittanti

What the French Elections Say About Their Colonial History

(Newsweek)

The elections in France are ~ a sane ethnocentric relief

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Mutualité Française

These states are celebrating Confederate Memorial Day on Monday

(CNN)

Some states still observe Confederate Memorial Day = Memo: Racist, obsolete; most slaves free. End it already!

Anagram: Rosie Perera
Image: Susan Melkisethian

Julian Assange's arrest a 'priority': Jeff Sessions

(Al Jazeera)

US - "Arrest Assange!" = USA asserts anger

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jeanne Menjoulet

Girl shot in head leaves hospital: "I am tougher than a bullet"

(CBS News)

"I am tougher than a bullet" = Halt, I'm tough - untearable!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas

Sean Spicer, Trump's press secretary, is loud, brash and pugnacious. Period

(WorldNews)

The most pugnacious press secretary in the White House ~ is Sean Spicer. Who trusts a pretty heinous emcee, though?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Thomas Cizauskas

100 days of failure for Trump?

(CNN)

Donald Trump's First One Hundred Days = Dirty Don shreds fundamentals. Proud?

Anagram: Erin Neathery
Image: Matthew Roth

Jason Chaffetz and Devin Nunes both faced investigating Trump. Now both are stepping aside.

(Washington Post)

What proof is Jason Chaffetz hiding? = Oh! Jaw of citizens, hands of graft. Hip?

Anagram: Erin Neathery
Image: Ted Eytan

3 Paris officers shot, 1 killed, in Champs-Elysees attack

(WWLP-22News)

Police officers shot on Champs-Elysees in Paris = ISIS male fires on French cops. I.e. he slays top cop.

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Image: Gongashan

Gibraltar Brexit row: What is the dispute about?

(BBC)

An official dispute exists, involves the Iberian peninsula of Gibraltar. It's most odd, isn't it ~ as land belongs to Spain. It survived centuries of British domination. If apes exit it, it falls.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: whereisemil

A Portland Teen's Pet Snake Got Stuck in Her Earlobe

(Atlas Obscura)

A Portland Teen's Pet Snake Got Stuck in Her Earlobe = Oh! Taken aback, patient ER personnel do get results.

Anagram: Dharam

Should we tell Jeff Sessions where Pearl Harbor is?

(The Times-Picayune)

Attorney General Sessions' "Judge sitting on an island in the Pacific" comment = Is so ignorant! He fails at judgement and consistency. Time to resign. Nice plan!

Anagram: Christopher Davis
Image: DonkeyHotey

Host Bill O'Reilly fired from Fox News

(The New Zealand Herald)

Fox News has fired famed host O'Reilly = Heard of him? A wily sex offender's lost

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: DonkeyHotey