Vatican treasurer charged over sexual assaults

(MSN)

Cardinal George Pell, the Vatican treasurer = He's an ill, aged pervert, a recalcitrant rogue

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Kerry Myers

That time Trump and his visible panty line played some horrific tennis

(deathandtaxesmag)

Donald Trump plays tennis tournament ~ in transparent pants. Yell "No!" to dumdum

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Trial begins for ex-Arizona Sheriff Arpaio

(UPI)

Sheriff Joe Arpaio = a poor/fairish jefe

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Gage Skidmore

Kitten found stranded in middle of Golden Gate Bridge

(UPI)

Bridges the kitty = bright tyke sited

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Louis Raphael

Abortion Debate Roils Final Health Care Push

(NBC News)

Better Care Reconciliation Act = Tactic in 'Obliterate Roe'. Cancer!

Anagram: Erin Neathery
Image: Backbone Campaign

George Clooney Sells Tequila Brand to Diageo for $1 Billion

(Bloomberg)

George Clooney sells Casamigos Blue Agave Tequila to Diageo = A gorgeous idea/logo, a cloying aqua vitae - let's become legless.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Yelp

Volunteer set to become the first person to undergo a HEAD TRANSPLANT admits he will NOT now undergo the surgery and says: 'That's a weight off my chest'

(Daily Mail)

The unfortunate boy with Werdnig-Hoffman disease says ~ "Stuff it!" He wants a new body for his head. Surgeon - "Anytime."

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Otto Warmbier dead: Student was 'murdered' by North Korea, says John McCain

(The Independent)

The incarcerated USA college student Otto Frederick Warmbier has died = US claim North Korean twits decerebrated the terrified gaoled accused

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Karl-Ludwig Poggemann

Uber adds tipping for drivers

(CNBC)

Uber has started to offer tipping = It's a superb offer! Depart tonight.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Prosecutors vow to retry Bill Cosby after sexual assault case ends in mistrial

(The Guardian)

'We can never underestimate the blinding power of celebrity, but justice will come' said lawyer Gloria Allred
=
I watch facile jury as lewd entertainer Bill Cosby penetrated gullible, comatose women in wild drug reverie
=
Wild case. Lewd entertainer Bill Cosby penetrated gullible, comatose women in drug reverie. I watch jury fail.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Montgomery County Planning Commission

"Breatharian" couple survives on "the universe's energy" instead of food

(New York Post)

Husband and wife Akahi Ricardo and Camila Castello = We had balanced food - air and sun! Alas, claim thick air!

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: GotCredit

Judge Declares Mistrial In Bill Cosby Case

(Huffington Post)

Now Judge Steven O'Neill has declared the Cosby case is a mistrial = "As the jury, we cannot decide TV comedian Bill harasses, ogles, lies."

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Montgomery County Planning Commission

Trump said foreign leaders wouldn't laugh at the US Now they're laughing at him

(Washington Post)

Australian Prime Minister Malcolm B Turnbull parodies the ~ US President. Truth: Trump is an ill, amoral, abnormal imbecile

Anagram: Julian Lofts

What is cladding? The material involved in the Grenfell Tower fire

(Metro)

The cladding of the building was made of flammable Aluminium Composite Material panels = I blame foam, it ignited, caused immolation. Hmm, if plans flawed, could be manslaughter plea?

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Intersex and proud: model Hanne Gaby Odiele on finally celebrating her body

(The Guardian)

Intersex model Hanne Gaby Odiele = Lean ex-boy? Isn't he deemed a girl? No.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: EventPhotosNYC

Macron party set for big win

(BBC)

Macron party set for big win = France patriots grim by now

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: French Embassy in the US

York Minister's new bell ringer after historic bells unmanned for first time in 700 years

(The Daily Express)

'York Minister' as ~ in sorry mistake?

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Tom Blackwell

Dozens feared dead in huge tower block fire in West London

(Metro)

Fire in Grenfell Tower, West London = Towering inferno - no dwellers left

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Melania Trump moves into the White House

(BBC)

Melania Trump has finally moved into the White House = Oh, hateful day - the alien Slovenian mum with imposter

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Disney | ABC

'Wonder Woman' soars

(CNN)

Wonder Woman = Onward, women

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Craig Duffy