Melania Trump mocked for her 'storm stilettos' as she heads to Texas for Hurricane Harvey relief

(Yahoo!)
Embed from Getty Images

Melania wears "storm stilettos" to visit Houston = Riot! She seems too tall to swim in vast rain, so 'Tut!"

Anagram: Rosie Perera

This Guy Spent A Year Exploring The Subculture Of Competitive Punning

(Fast Company)

Guy spends a year in the world of competitive punning = Get your tiny mind seasoned, peppering with vocal fun

Anagram: Chris Sturdy

Peru's indigenous-language push

(The Economist)

Peru indigenous-language push ~ dug up a European using English

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: CIFOR

Floyd Mayweather stops Conor McGregor in 10th round in Las Vegas

(BBC)
Embed from Getty Images

The grinning US boxer Floyd Mayweather thrashes the UFC champion ~ Irishman McGregor in ten rounds. Yes, watch the hype, hoax, bluff, hate.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

The five most controversial acts of clemency by US presidents

(The Guardian)

I deplore partisan and ~ a presidential pardon

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Monica D. Spencer

How unpopular has President Donald Trump become? This chart shows just how much

(The Independent)

Unpopular president = People spurn dirt, Anu.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Refuse Fascism

Arpaio is pardoned

(ABC News)

Arpaio is pardoned = I do spare paranoid

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Gage Skidmore

President Trump pardons controversial sheriff Joe Arpaio

(BBC)

The President of the United States Donald Trump pardons Sheriff Joe Arpaio = Honest, it's truth - er, people did jeer at mad POTUS' fondness for defiant pariah

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Gage Skidmore

The secret life of dodos, revealed

(Phys.org)

The secret life of dodos revealed ~ e'er coveted feathered old fossil

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Paul Gravestock

Hurricane Harvey: what we know about the Category 4 storm about to hit the Gulf Coast

(Vox)

Hurricane Harvey will hit land soon = O, us! Real heavy rain, chill north wind

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: NASA

Allah-Las gig cancelled in Rotterdam due to terrorism warning

(The Guardian)

The rock band Allah-Las are no longer playing in Rotterdam, in the Netherlands, due to this awful Islamic ~ terror plot. Is warfare. Agents condemn, hunt and shoot dead all the nihilistic men yelling "Allahu Akbar!"

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Xanic Lopez

President Maduro strips Venezuela's parliament of power

(The Guardian)

President Nicolas Maduro ~ also damped insurrection

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jeso Carneiro

'Prince William should stand for election' Fury as Owen Jones suggests ABOLISHING monarchy

(The Daily Express)
Embed from Getty Images

Owen Jones, host of LBC Radio ~ He's a Tower of London job [sic]

Anagram: Robert Jordan

Imam in Spanish Town Emerges as Suspect in Barcelona Attack

(The Wall Street Journal)

The Ripoll Imam Abdelbaki Es Satty's ~ hopes "Stab, slay, maim, kill, batter, die!"

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Fotomovimiento

Women are painting vaginas on their fingernails -- and they're incredibly detailed

(The Daily Mirror)

Vagina nails = A vain signal

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: freestocks.org

Nice to see you: Bruce Forsyth's scandalous history of love, lust and lies

(The Daily Mirror)

The ancient English entertainer Bruce Forsyth has died = Had heinous chin, big ferrety teeth and internal secrets

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Surian Soosay

The Rise and Fall of Steve Bannon

(The New Yorker)

The rise and fall of Steve Bannon = Rant banned. He's offensive to all.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: TJ Hawk

Study Pershing, Trump Said. But the Story Doesn't Add Up.

(The New York Times)

General Pershing story = Regret person's lying, ha!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jon Berkeley/Economist

Bonnie Tyler to perform Total Eclipse during total eclipse

(BBC)
Embed from Getty Images

Bonnie Tyler is to perform 'Total Eclipse Of The Heart' during the total eclipse = Oh yes, I note terse fool Trump told that terrible Pershing lie (one epic "alt-fact")

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Barcelona terror attack: van crashes into crowd at Las Ramblas, killing 'at least 13'

(Yahoo!)

Las Ramblas, Barcelona = All blame's on Arab's car

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: