'Remarkable' truffle discovery on Paris rooftop raises hopes of more

(BBC)

One (two?) truffle is growing in Paris rooftop gardens = Fungi grow in Perigord forest, not in a flowerpot, ass!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Björn S.

'Leave is an anagram of evil' Remainer Vince Cable ridiculed

(The Daily Express)

Leave is an anagram of evil ~ as Remain gave a novel fail

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: University of Essex

'Distressed' Princess Michael of Kent apologises for wearing a 'racist' Blackamoor brooch to meet Meghan at the Queen's Christmas lunch and promises to 'retire it'

(Daily Mail)
Embed from Getty Images

Princess Michael of Kent made a worrying booboo = Donning a blackamoor brooch mortifies. Yes, weep.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Trump ambassador lies about his lies

(DutchReview)

Trump ambassador lies about his lies = Oi! USA bumbler rails past host's media

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Labour Remainer plot EXPOSED

(The Daily Express)

Labour Remainer plot exposed = All pro-Europe and some Brexit

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: mazz_5

New blue passports

(The Guardian)

New blue passports ~ blown past EU press

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: John Barker

The Miss America Emails: How The Pageant's CEO Really Talks About The Winners

(Huffington Post)

The Miss America emails ~ smear, shame ... it is malice

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Disney | ABC

Iranian scholar sentenced to death

(Nature)

Iranian scholar sentenced to death ~ and I intoned, "He's teacher, not rascal."

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Massimiliano D

Mike Pence says Donald Trump has 'fulfilled miracles' in gushing two-minute eulogy, as President looks on

(The Independent)

"I'm deeply humbled, as your Vice President, to be able to be here. Because of your leadership, Mr President, and because of the strong support of the leadership in the Congress of the United States, you're delivering on that middle-class miracle."
=
Yes, there's heated disbelief as cheesy Pence celebrates the President in a lengthy, florid address on television as beautiful, beloved, generous, good, heroic, honest, ideal, incredible Trump (echoes of Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump...). Bastard, yahoo!

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Stephen Melkisethian

The Highest-Paid Athletes Of All Time

(Forbes)

The Latest Forbes List of the Richest Professional Athletes of All Time 1. Michael "Air" Jordan 2. Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods 3. Arnold Palmer 4. Jack "Golden Bear" Nicklaus 5. Michael Schumacher 6. Phil Alfred Mickelson 7. David Beckham 8. Kobe Bean Bryant 9. Floyd "Money" Mayweather 10. Shaquille O'Neal

=

1. We hail a basketball folklore hero. He has Olympic gold medal 2. Player... likes golf 3. Same (deceased) 4. Won 18 majors 5. Formula One. Head injury victim 6. Nonconformist "Lefty" 7. Deft soccer striker 8. LA Lakers NBA champion enthralled 9. Ban that sick, hotheaded, criminal 'bitch beater' 10. He's quite tall.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: TJ Hawk

US military preparing 'bloody nose' attack on North Korea

(New York Post)

US military preparing 'bloody nose' attack on North Korea = Or paranoid Trump's yearning to shock Korean boy a little

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Daniel Arrhakis

Sarah Palin's son charged with domestic assault on father

(BBC)

Track is the criminal son of Sarah Palin = Prison, a manacle, for this rascal, I think

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Mario Piperni

Twitter Bans Some White Supremacists and Other Extremists

(Bloomberg)

Twitter bans some white supremacists and other extremists = It started with racist Trump who's been a sex monster, it seems

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Backbone Campaign

"Water Cremation" Becoming More Popular

(Healthline)

American wet rot = Water cremation

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: JLS Photography

The Vatican bans sales of saints' body parts, including hair strands and teeth, to stop them being sold for thousands on online auctions

(Daily Mail)

No, relics of saints are~n't for sale is scenario

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alex Drop

Trump administration bans CDC from using these seven words

(New York Post)

CDC is banned from using words or phrases: vulnerable, entitlement, diversity, transgender, fetus, evidence-based, and science-based = Relentless, disgraceful conservative Trump interferes and succeeds in condemning these: "Bad. Bad. Bad. Very bad!" It's weird nonsense!

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, power behind the throne

(BBC)

The Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman = Muslim monarch-to-be, an admired chap in news

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: James N. Mattis

Trump calls conduct at the FBI "disgraceful" in latest criticism of bureau

(Washington Post)

The President said "It's a shame what's happened with the FBI... We're going to rebuild the FBI, it'll be bigger and better than ever. But it is very sad when you look at those documents, and how they've done that is really, really disgraceful, and you have a lot of very angry people that are seeing it."
=
However, I theorise that bighead Flynn, egregious Gates, hotheaded Manafort, testy Priebus, the effete son-in-law Kushner and the dastardly States' Republican Party obeyed vile hotheaded windbag Trump and I bet they are all very guilty in collaborating with the evil Soviets. Whoopee!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Daniel Arrhakis

Scientists Say Japanese Monkeys Are Having 'Sexual Interactions' With Deer

(National Public Radio)

Scientists say Japanese monkeys are having 'sexual interactions' with deer = I see producer Harvey Weinstein staining Salma Hayek's jeans in sex acts. OTT!

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Omarosa Manigault Newman to Leave White House Job Next Month

(The New York Times)

Omarosa Manigault Newman = A true woman among animals

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: gonycmagazine