'Boys don't wear dresses' - Lewis Hamilton under fire for remark to nephew

(Newshub)

Let us boo at Lewis Hamilton, the macho F1 champion = Hmm, 1 tacit homophobe. Oh, we call out infantile ass.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Steve

Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny barred from standing against Vladimir Putin

(The Daily Telegraph)

Alexei Navalny is the Russian opposition leader = Oh, alas, I see a loony President Putin nixes a rival.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Vladimir Varfolomeev

Inside the weird world of conspiracy theorists convinced the Earth is HOLLOW with "alien" humans and Nazis living inside

(The Sun)

Inane conspiracy theory says that Earth is hollow = Ay, how astrophysically coherent or insane is that?!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Wikimedia

NORAD Santa Tracker 2017 LIVE: Find out where Father Christmas is right now as he arrives in the UK

(The Daily Mirror)

The NORAD tracker uses artificial intelligence to discover Santa = Strove to calculate site of St Nick, reindeer and a sleigh cart in air.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Newtown grafitti

Health and safety GONE MAD: Father Christmas BANNED

(The Daily Express)

Ah dang, the toys an elf made = Health and safety gone mad

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Matti Mattila

Gift-wrapped manure addressed to Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin

(CBS News)

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin ~ is sent very nasty ecru manure. Retch!

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: DonkeyHotey

At least 10,000 killed at Tiananmen Square, secret cable claims

(The Independent)

Re: toll - criminal event's quite a debacle, a tank massacre to repress ~ over 10,000 protesters killed at Tiananmen Square, a secret cable claims.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Francis Mariani

Pot for pets: Could medical marijuana help your dog?

(BBC)

Canines, cats battle arthritis, mental issues. Why ~ this TreatWell's cannabis tincture may assist, eh?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Cool Revolution

'Utterly absurd!' Lib Dem BASHES 'ridiculous' Brexiteers for rejoicing over blue passport

(The Daily Express)

Utterly absurd = Rad, trusty blue

Anagram: Robert Jordan

'Remarkable' truffle discovery on Paris rooftop raises hopes of more

(BBC)

One (two?) truffle is growing in Paris rooftop gardens = Fungi grow in Perigord forest, not in a flowerpot, ass!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Björn S.

'Leave is an anagram of evil' Remainer Vince Cable ridiculed

(The Daily Express)

Leave is an anagram of evil ~ as Remain gave a novel fail

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: University of Essex

'Distressed' Princess Michael of Kent apologises for wearing a 'racist' Blackamoor brooch to meet Meghan at the Queen's Christmas lunch and promises to 'retire it'

(Daily Mail)
Embed from Getty Images

Princess Michael of Kent made a worrying booboo = Donning a blackamoor brooch mortifies. Yes, weep.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Trump ambassador lies about his lies

(DutchReview)

Trump ambassador lies about his lies = Oi! USA bumbler rails past host's media

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Labour Remainer plot EXPOSED

(The Daily Express)

Labour Remainer plot exposed = All pro-Europe and some Brexit

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: mazz_5

New blue passports

(The Guardian)

New blue passports ~ blown past EU press

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: John Barker

The Miss America Emails: How The Pageant's CEO Really Talks About The Winners

(Huffington Post)

The Miss America emails ~ smear, shame ... it is malice

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Disney | ABC

Iranian scholar sentenced to death

(Nature)

Iranian scholar sentenced to death ~ and I intoned, "He's teacher, not rascal."

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Massimiliano D

Mike Pence says Donald Trump has 'fulfilled miracles' in gushing two-minute eulogy, as President looks on

(The Independent)

"I'm deeply humbled, as your Vice President, to be able to be here. Because of your leadership, Mr President, and because of the strong support of the leadership in the Congress of the United States, you're delivering on that middle-class miracle."
=
Yes, there's heated disbelief as cheesy Pence celebrates the President in a lengthy, florid address on television as beautiful, beloved, generous, good, heroic, honest, ideal, incredible Trump (echoes of Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump...). Bastard, yahoo!

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Stephen Melkisethian

The Highest-Paid Athletes Of All Time

(Forbes)

The Latest Forbes List of the Richest Professional Athletes of All Time 1. Michael "Air" Jordan 2. Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods 3. Arnold Palmer 4. Jack "Golden Bear" Nicklaus 5. Michael Schumacher 6. Phil Alfred Mickelson 7. David Beckham 8. Kobe Bean Bryant 9. Floyd "Money" Mayweather 10. Shaquille O'Neal

=

1. We hail a basketball folklore hero. He has Olympic gold medal 2. Player... likes golf 3. Same (deceased) 4. Won 18 majors 5. Formula One. Head injury victim 6. Nonconformist "Lefty" 7. Deft soccer striker 8. LA Lakers NBA champion enthralled 9. Ban that sick, hotheaded, criminal 'bitch beater' 10. He's quite tall.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: TJ Hawk

US military preparing 'bloody nose' attack on North Korea

(New York Post)

US military preparing 'bloody nose' attack on North Korea = Or paranoid Trump's yearning to shock Korean boy a little

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Daniel Arrhakis