White "Nigerian Prince" Email Scammer Arrested in Louisiana

(The Root)

"Nigerian Prince" email scammer arrested in Louisiana = An American male aiding serious criminal enterprise

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Bryan Rosengrant

Cardboard tents distributed to Brussels homeless

(BBC)

These cardboard tents are donated to homeless in Brussels = Made all the terse hoboes resent sodden cartons. It's absurd.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: loljon981

Nikki Haley seemingly tricked by Russian pranksters into commenting on fictional country 'Binomo'

(The Independent)

This deceptive 'Binomo' caper annoys the female ~ American envoy. Inept dope botches it. Flee sham.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Chinese mall unveils #TrumpDog statue to celebrate Lunar New Year

(The Guardian)
Embed from Getty Images

Re: The Chinese New Year TrumpDog = "We're tough archenemy, President."

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Here's where special counsel Robert Mueller's Russia probe stands heading into 2018

(CNBC)

Here's where Mueller's Russia probe stands heading into 2018 from CNBC.

The special counsel Robert Swan Mueller = None will cheer Trump's electoral abuses

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Towering Penis Painting In New York Made People Uncomfortable, So It's Gone

(The International Business Times)

Lower East Side giant penis mural = Prudes resist male genitalia, won

Anagram: Jason Lofts

'MORTAL SIN for many' Finnish MP says EU still can't believe UK voted to leave its UTOPIA

(The Daily Express)

A 'MORTAL SIN for many' = Story on 'Animal Farm'

Anagram: Robert Jordan

Israel plans a Trump rail station as Trump-naming frenzy sweeps country

(CNN)

Trump rail station ~ is ultra important

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Mike Maguire

Dennis the Menace gets "PC makeover" with name change and soft personality

(The Daily Express)

Dennis the Menace gets PC makeover = Comic kept Gnasher, made seventeen!

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: H is for Home

FBI "taint"

(ABC News)

FBI "taint" ~ 't ain't FBI!

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: JDSG

America is great again, says Donald Trump

(The Times)

"America is great again," says Donald Trump = Mad pig : "Yes, USA AAA credit rating's normal"

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: IoSonoUnaFotoCamera

'Boys don't wear dresses' - Lewis Hamilton under fire for remark to nephew

(Newshub)

Let us boo at Lewis Hamilton, the macho F1 champion = Hmm, 1 tacit homophobe. Oh, we call out infantile ass.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Steve

Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny barred from standing against Vladimir Putin

(The Daily Telegraph)

Alexei Navalny is the Russian opposition leader = Oh, alas, I see a loony President Putin nixes a rival.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Vladimir Varfolomeev

Inside the weird world of conspiracy theorists convinced the Earth is HOLLOW with "alien" humans and Nazis living inside

(The Sun)

Inane conspiracy theory says that Earth is hollow = Ay, how astrophysically coherent or insane is that?!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Wikimedia

NORAD Santa Tracker 2017 LIVE: Find out where Father Christmas is right now as he arrives in the UK

(The Daily Mirror)

The NORAD tracker uses artificial intelligence to discover Santa = Strove to calculate site of St Nick, reindeer and a sleigh cart in air.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Newtown grafitti

Health and safety GONE MAD: Father Christmas BANNED

(The Daily Express)

Ah dang, the toys an elf made = Health and safety gone mad

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Matti Mattila

Gift-wrapped manure addressed to Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin

(CBS News)

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin ~ is sent very nasty ecru manure. Retch!

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: DonkeyHotey

At least 10,000 killed at Tiananmen Square, secret cable claims

(The Independent)

Re: toll - criminal event's quite a debacle, a tank massacre to repress ~ over 10,000 protesters killed at Tiananmen Square, a secret cable claims.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Francis Mariani

Pot for pets: Could medical marijuana help your dog?

(BBC)

Canines, cats battle arthritis, mental issues. Why ~ this TreatWell's cannabis tincture may assist, eh?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Cool Revolution

'Utterly absurd!' Lib Dem BASHES 'ridiculous' Brexiteers for rejoicing over blue passport

(The Daily Express)

Utterly absurd = Rad, trusty blue

Anagram: Robert Jordan