Marco Rubio: 'Vladimir Putin chose to interfere in US elections'

(Deutsche Welle)

The current President of the Russian Federation Vladimir Putin = He had interfered in adult infant Trump's victorious enterprise

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: TJ Hawk

The Essential Tenets of Bannonism

(Eat Pray Vote)

The essential dogma of Bannonism means ~ he battles onanism, fannies and Mom's ego.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alan

Stasi files: scanner struggles to stitch together surveillance state scraps

(The Guardian)
Embed from Getty Images

Stasi file = Is it false?

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Did Melania Trump Wear Shower Curtains?

(Snopes.com)

Did FLOTUS Melania Trump wear shower curtains? = Illustrated: Warm water douche uniform in spas

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Does Donald Trump have a nuclear button?

(BBC)

A List of Some North American Nuclear Weapons Terminology includes: 1. The 'football' 2. The 'biscuit' 3. The US Commander-in-chief 4. A 'first strike'

=

1. Leather briefcase 2. List of codes 3. Tragicomic Mr Trump isn't a fool 4. We beat the shit out of insane Kim or China UN say "Listen Mr Dunce - HELL NO!"

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Backbone Campaign

Trump taunts North Korea: My nuclear button is 'much bigger,' 'more powerful'

(CNN)

Push the button, moron! = Trump: noun, Be hotshot.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Michael St.Mark

Scientists plan to SWITCH-OFF GRAVITY

(YouTube)

Scientists plan to switch off gravity = Rys vs. Isaac Newton lifts gift to pitch

Anagram: Robert Jordan

Trump's Jerusalem Pronouncement Is a Return to Classic American Colonialism

(Alternet)

Is this Jerusalem decision of POTUS Trump ~ just more US imperial shit? If so, stop dunce.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: ruperto miller

Pakistan Dismisses Trump's Tweet on Aid as 'Incomprehensible'

(The New York Times)

The President of the US is attacking 'lies and ~ deceit' and hostile Pakistan refutes things

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: cool revolution

"You're UNELECTED" House of Lords warned of public BACKLASH if peers attempt block Brexit

(The Daily Express)

One cultured eye? = You're unelected

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Tiocfaidh ár lá 1916

YouTube star Logan Paul apologises for film of man's body in Japan

(The Guardian)

YouTuber star Logan Paul apologises for his inhumane tweet = Um, I hate when you go to stare in forest. Appalling soul abuser!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: joeeckroth

US President Donald Trump begins 2018 with angry tweets aimed at Pakistan and Iran

(News.com.au)

US President Trump's tweets = Twit's trumped-up terseness

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Sasha Kimel

UFO spotted? Mysterious fiery object seen flying above UK on New Year's Eve

(The Daily Express)

UFO spotted? = Tut, spoofed!

Anagram: Robert Jordan

Sub-zero temperatures turned Niagara Falls into an icy winter wonderland

(USA Today)

Niagara Falls has turned to ice this winter = It's an unreal or fantastical sight. Weird, eh?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: John Piercy

Rabbi calls Lorde a bigot in full-page Washington Post ad

(The Times of Israel)

Hehe, a burly bombastic ~ Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Constanza.CH

Ringo Starr Will Be Knighted in 2018

(Pitchfork)

O, Richard Starkey, the Beatles' "Ringo ~ Starr" is knighted. Celebrate. Hooray!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Rob DiCaterino

When Britain worked for free: How the I'm Backing Britain campaign descended into farce

(The Daily Express)

I offer their reward be known ~ when Britain worked for free

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Sludge G

Five ways Stephen Hawking has predicted the end of the world

(The Daily Mirror)

Five ways that the theoretical physicist, cosmologist and researcher Mister Stephen Hawking has predicted that the world may end, unfortunately 1. Robots 2. Overpopulation 3. Fireball 4. Nuclear warfare 5. President Donald Trump

=

Prevent: 1. Shrewd AI 2. Far too many wretched bloody people 3. Climate worsens - the Earth will heat up 4. Dastardly uncompromising belligerents North Korea, Russia, China rift, threaten universe 5. That fat, addled, psychotic fart POTUS

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Karen Portin

White "Nigerian Prince" Email Scammer Arrested in Louisiana

(The Root)

"Nigerian Prince" email scammer arrested in Louisiana = An American male aiding serious criminal enterprise

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Bryan Rosengrant

Cardboard tents distributed to Brussels homeless

(BBC)

These cardboard tents are donated to homeless in Brussels = Made all the terse hoboes resent sodden cartons. It's absurd.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: loljon981