Trump boasts that he's "like, really smart" and a "very stable genius" amid questions over his mental fitness

(Washington Post)

Trump boasts that he's "like, really smart" and a "very stable genius" = The guy is an embarrassment as the prat talks drivel. Absolutely!

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: H. Michael Karshis

Fury over bikini-clad girls placed inside glass boxes alongside cuddly toy prizes in claw crane game at Taiwanese arcade

(Daily Mail)

Arcade games = A scam, agreed.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Trump's bizarre hairdo finally explained

(New York Post)

President Donald Trump's strange hairdo is explained = Tip: Plaster six long prime strands around head. Indeed!

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Four women accuse filmmaker Paul Haggis of sexual misconduct

(Yahoo!)

Paul Haggis = I shag gal up

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: Canadian Film Centre

"Penis whitening" craze sweeps Thailand with 100 men a month signing up for surgery to change the colour of their todgers

(The Sun)

'Penis whitening' craze = Inept size, grew an inch?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: ILO in Asia and the Pacific

Saudi authorities suspend nurses after viral newborn abuse video

(StepFeed)

Saudi newborn abuses = A nurse wounds babies

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: IAEA Imagebank

Marco Rubio: 'Vladimir Putin chose to interfere in US elections'

(Deutsche Welle)

The current President of the Russian Federation Vladimir Putin = He had interfered in adult infant Trump's victorious enterprise

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: TJ Hawk

The Essential Tenets of Bannonism

(Eat Pray Vote)

The essential dogma of Bannonism means ~ he battles onanism, fannies and Mom's ego.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alan

Stasi files: scanner struggles to stitch together surveillance state scraps

(The Guardian)
Embed from Getty Images

Stasi file = Is it false?

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Did Melania Trump Wear Shower Curtains?

(Snopes.com)

Did FLOTUS Melania Trump wear shower curtains? = Illustrated: Warm water douche uniform in spas

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Does Donald Trump have a nuclear button?

(BBC)

A List of Some North American Nuclear Weapons Terminology includes: 1. The 'football' 2. The 'biscuit' 3. The US Commander-in-chief 4. A 'first strike'

=

1. Leather briefcase 2. List of codes 3. Tragicomic Mr Trump isn't a fool 4. We beat the shit out of insane Kim or China UN say "Listen Mr Dunce - HELL NO!"

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Backbone Campaign

Trump taunts North Korea: My nuclear button is 'much bigger,' 'more powerful'

(CNN)

Push the button, moron! = Trump: noun, Be hotshot.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Michael St.Mark

Scientists plan to SWITCH-OFF GRAVITY

(YouTube)

Scientists plan to switch off gravity = Rys vs. Isaac Newton lifts gift to pitch

Anagram: Robert Jordan

Trump's Jerusalem Pronouncement Is a Return to Classic American Colonialism

(Alternet)

Is this Jerusalem decision of POTUS Trump ~ just more US imperial shit? If so, stop dunce.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: ruperto miller

Pakistan Dismisses Trump's Tweet on Aid as 'Incomprehensible'

(The New York Times)

The President of the US is attacking 'lies and ~ deceit' and hostile Pakistan refutes things

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: cool revolution

"You're UNELECTED" House of Lords warned of public BACKLASH if peers attempt block Brexit

(The Daily Express)

One cultured eye? = You're unelected

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Tiocfaidh ár lá 1916

YouTube star Logan Paul apologises for film of man's body in Japan

(The Guardian)

YouTuber star Logan Paul apologises for his inhumane tweet = Um, I hate when you go to stare in forest. Appalling soul abuser!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: joeeckroth

US President Donald Trump begins 2018 with angry tweets aimed at Pakistan and Iran

(News.com.au)

US President Trump's tweets = Twit's trumped-up terseness

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Sasha Kimel

UFO spotted? Mysterious fiery object seen flying above UK on New Year's Eve

(The Daily Express)

UFO spotted? = Tut, spoofed!

Anagram: Robert Jordan

Sub-zero temperatures turned Niagara Falls into an icy winter wonderland

(USA Today)

Niagara Falls has turned to ice this winter = It's an unreal or fantastical sight. Weird, eh?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: John Piercy