Vadimir Putin debuts Russia's new presidential limousine

(Yahoo!)
Embed from Getty Images

Presidential limousine = I intend: "Limo is pleasure!"

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas

Kilauea volcano eruption

(USA Today)

Kilauea volcano eruption = Caution: one roil, puke lava

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Dennis D.

ATF Agent in Chicago Shot

(The New York Times)

ATF Agent in Chicago Shot = So, face action, hang tight!

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Jeremy Miles

Hawaii's Kilauea volcano erupts, prompting mandatory evacuations

(CNN)

The Kilauea volcano = I leak hot lava on cue

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: irmiller

Stormy Daniels sues President Trump for defamation

(USA Today)

Stormy Daniels sues President Trump for defamation = Lustier porn star fumed, simmered. Ass Don T. to pay fine?

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Mike Licht

Donald Trump: What are the US President's chances of getting a Nobel Peace Prize?

(ABC News)

This year's Nobel Peace Prize must not be awarded to contentious ~ US President Trump. Sweden can ostracize, alienate the yobbo too.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Steamboat Geyser

(CNN)

The tallest geyser keeps erupting = sleek sight, perpetual energy test

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Gunnar Ries

What famous Louis might have inspired the Royal couple to choose Louis?

(MSN)
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Various Famous People Who Were Named Either Louis or Lou 1. Tomlinson 2. Armstrong 3. Gehrig 4. Lord Mountbatten 5. Vuitton 6. Louis the Fourteenth of France (also known as Le Grand) 7. Louis XVI 8. Braille 9. Pasteur 10. B. Mayer 11. Donaldson 12. Louis C.K. 13. De Bernieres 14. Captain Zamperini 15. Farrakhan Sr. (he was born Walcott) 16. Reed

=

Work/Career 1. A musician 2. One renowned trumpeter 3. First baseman 4. Earl of Burma 5. Fashion 6. Sun King 7. Last King 8. To help our blind see 9. Laboratory biologist 10. Film producer 11. Alto saxophonist 12. Shrewd humor 13. Novelist, raconteur 14. An athlete, POW, hero 15. Zealous Nation of Islam leader 16. Was in Velvet Underground.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Kim Wall murder: Danish inventor Peter Madsen given life sentence

(BBC)

A Depraved Danish Murder Mystery At Sea 1. Peter Madsen 2. Kim Wall 3. Nautilus 4. Betina Hald Engmark 5. Jakob Buch-Jensen 6. Anette Burkoe

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1. A nutty and rampant killer 2. Journalist. Shame, the knave dismembered naked babe 3. Submarine sank 4. A lawyer 5. Prosecuted 6. The judge

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Sonny W.

CBC News reporter explaining what an Incel, Chad, and Stacy mean

Slang Terms or Abbreviation: 1. Incel 2. Chad 3. Stacy

=

1. Virgin/celibate (can't score) 2. Man (SOB) 3. Lady (trash)

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image:

What does a Trump-Macron bromance mean for the world?

(BBC)
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Macron's Trump's bestie = Must bromance persist?

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Lance Armstrong settles $100m US government lawsuit for $5m

(BBC)

"I rode my heart out for the Postal cycling team, and was always especially proud to wear the red, white and blue eagle on my chest when competing in the Tour de France. Those memories are very real and mean a lot to me.
"I'm looking forward to devoting myself to the many great things in my life - my five kids, my wife, my podcast, several exciting writing and film projects, my work as a cancer survivor, and my passion for sports and competition."
Lance Armstrong
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“I will simply restate what I have said many times: I have never taken performance enhancing drugs (except for my Erythropoietin, my Human Growth Hormone and my blood doping). Yes, I am a demigod, an inveterate liar, a nasty cocksucker, a recidivist and won lots of endorsements illegally. I cheat, defy. My wry motto: a leopard will never transform its spots. Testicular cancer was joy compared to my fate now. It affects me. Stop me from going down the gurgler.”

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Kempton

The 10 most important issues from 80 years of Superman!

(The Guardian)

Superman is eighty years old = Yes, is so legendary, a triumph!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Shaun Wong

Taxpayers Can Get an Extension Because the IRS Payment Site Crashed on Tax Day

(Time)

The IRS payment site crashed on Tax Day = They act rash, imparted day's extension.

Anagram: Rosie Perera
Image: PROStock Catalog

The 11 most eye-opening lines in James Comey's 'A Higher Loyalty,' ranked

(CNN)

Comey: "This President is unethical, and untethered to truth and institutional values. His leadership is transactional, ego driven and about personal loyalty."
=
Ha, this illustrates that he's one thoroughly nasty, rotten, unpleasant, petty, and vicious individual, a disastrous, incompetent leader, and one incredible liar!

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Christopher Cook

This trans model wants to make history by becoming a Victoria's Secret Angel

(Yahoo!)

A transgender Leyna Bloom = Note: gal been lad (sorry, man)

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas

Man Left with Excruciating Headaches After Eating Carolina Reaper in Pepper-Eating Competition

(Oddity Central)

The Carolina Reaper chilli's 'dangerously hot' = Error! Ill in agony, cluster headache. Hospital!

Anagram: Chris Sturdy
Image: TheChili.Life

Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship to Be 1st Event of Its Kind in USA Since 1889

(RT)

Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship = Big goal: Skip far, punch him in the neck!

Anagram: Rosie Perera
Image: Keith vaughton

Five-storey blue penis causes uproar among Stockholm residents

(The Guardian)

This huge five-storey blue penis mural in Stockholm is so crude = Ugh, I see most brutish voyeurs like uncensored phallic motifs.

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Why the Stormy Daniels-Donald Trump story matters

(BBC)

Adult film actress and stripper Stormy Daniels = Pleasant lady, Donald Trump's 'terrific' mistress

Anagram: Jason Lofts
Image: Lorie Shaull