Der Spiegel says top journalist faked stories for years

(The Guardian)

Claas Relotius = Callous satire = Louse's liar act = Rascal lies, out!

Anagram: Julian Lofts

US ally in Syria says pullout will aid ISIS, cause instability

(ABC News)

In December: Donald John Trump, the President of the United States of America, tweets, "We have defeated ISIS [Islamic State of Iraq and Syria] in Syria."
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It's beaten? It's fate: ever unfinished! Withdraw armed forces from that country? I see team allies hate idea, ponder man's IQ, deep ties (and sadistic joy).

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: Alisdare Hickson

Putin wants government to "take charge" of rap music

(BBC)

Putin wants government to "take charge" of rap music = Even conspires with Trump to attack men of Anu Garg

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Marco Verch

World War 3: Satellite images show HUNDREDS of Russian tanks massing on Ukraine border

(The Daily Express)

The Russian tanks converge on their border = Borscht vendors threaten Ukraine's region

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Legal threats surround Donald Trump as nearly every organisation he has led is under investigation

(The New Zealand Herald)

The countdown to POTUS impeachment has already started = Watch Cohen lament on oath a stout ape Trump's "dirty deeds"

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Backbone Campaign

WW3: Moscow admits Russian aggression won't be on America but against small Euro states

(The Daily Express)

The third world war ~ dwelt horrid wrath

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: PDru2014

Migrant caravan: Girl dies in custody after crossing US-Mexico border

(BBC)

A young girl from Guatemala dies in US custody = End US's feud. Moronic guy at Mar-a-Lago is guilty

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Backbone Campaign

"Can you imagine anyone other than Trump?" Time magazine published a perfectly fitting answer.

(The Oregonian)

Trump fails to be named Time's "Person of the Year" = Damn, I feel the man prefers a bosomy prostitute

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Time

The Birth of BrExit

(The Dangerous Globe)

Types of Births 1. Normal vaginal (per vaginum) 2. The forceps-assisted 3. The vacuum-assisted 4. Caesarean section 5. Non-intact dilation and extraction

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1. "Push!" Men dread loose vagina 2. "Dr, don't insert those up me!" 3. Ventouse (France) 4. Incapacitation, can't sit, has long scar 5. Brexit - mass fatalistic naivety!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Tim Dennell

Ex-Miss Kentucky charged with sending nude photos to student

(Yahoo!)

Miss Kentucky Ramsey Carpenter = My, a creepy stunner makes tricks!

Ex-Miss Kentucky Ramsey Carpenter = A sexy stunner makes my prick erect

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas

The Girl In The Spider's Web Review

(Empire)

Recent film "The Girl in the Spider's Web" is ~ big Swedish feminist thriller pretence

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Prosecutors demand Michael Cohen spend four to five YEARS in prison for trying to 'influence the election from the shadows'

(Daily Mail)

"I'm trying to influence the election from the shadows." = Tut, Michael Cohen's done for lying. Not wise! Fetter him!

Anagram: George Missailidis
Art: Roy Blumenthal

Stormy Daniels Picks Trump's Tiny 'Mushroom' penis From a Lineup on Kimmel

(The Daily Beast)

US President 'Tiny Mushroom' = Don Trump in humorist's eyes

Anagram: Jason Lofts

Seven-year-old Ryan tops list of biggest YouTube earners, making $29.8m from toy reviews

(ABC News)

The Most Outstanding Earners from YouTube Site Include: 1. Ryan ToysReview 2. Jake Paul 3. Dude Perfect

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1. Boy enjoys playing 2. We endure immature untuneful raps, etcetera 3. Five dudes do trick shots, are OTT

Anagram: Julian Lofts

"A great leader and a good man": Paul Ryan honors President George H.W. Bush

(ABC News)

"Grace is but glory begun, and glory is but grace perfected." -the American revivalist preacher, philosopher and puritan, Jonathan Edwards
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George H.W. Bush: a just, decent, righteous, avid, gentle, fancy, caring leader. Hope!
Trump: a pest! Bad, insane, vile, rancid, crappy brat, liar! Horror!

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: Alan

Wizard of Oz beats Star Wars as most influential film of all time, study of 47,000 movies shows

(The Daily Telegraph)

The Most Influential Films of All Time Compiled By The University of Turin 1. The Wizard of Oz 2. Star Wars 3. Psycho 4. King Kong 5. 2001: A Space Odyssey 6. Metropolis 7. Citizen Kane 8. The Birth of a Nation 9. Frankenstein 10. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 11. Casablanca 12. Dracula 13. The Godfather 14. Jaws 15. Nosferatu 16. The Searchers 17. Cabiria 18. Dr Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb 19. Gone With the Wind 20. Battleship Potemkin

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We see that these created the most spinoffs and mentions 1. Frank Baum 2. Notwithstanding Nazi elements 3. Alfred Hitchcock 4. Fay Wray on the Empire State Building 5. Wise HAL 6. Fritz Lang 7. Orson Welles 8. Civil War, nationhood 9. Boris Karlov 10. A Walt Disney fantasy 11. Humphrey Bogart 12. Tod Browning 13. Francis Ford Coppola 14. Spielberg 15. Vampire 16. John Ford 17. Viewed at the White House 18. Zany Kubrick, he's too OTT! 19. Scarlett O'Hara 20. Eisenstein

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Insomnia Cured Here

Here's How Many Times You Need to Have Sex to Slow Down Aging

(Reader's Digest)

Here's How Many Times You Need to Have Sex to Slow Down Aging = X 'n' Y? Somehow, one good time in seven days at least! Whew, rough!

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: Classic Film

Arizona Man Accidentally Shoots Himself in Groin in Walmart

(Newsweek)

Arizona man carrying handgun in waistband shoots himself in groin in Walmart meat department
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This demands a brilliant anagram. Rats! Amazing recent ammunition, now finding no worthy phrase!
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A manly man can be in distress and humiliated for grazing his own meat (that minor part). No warning!

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Ted Swedenburg

Five key takeaways from Michael Cohen's new plea deal with special counsel Mueller

(ABC News)

America's "Five Key Takeaways from Michael Cohen's new plea deal with Special Counsel Mueller." 1. This is no longer just about Stormy 2. "The Moscow Project" 3. Trump's answers are now critical 4. Liar or not? 5. And now, onto the G-20 Summit. Which especially anagrams to…

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1. Woman touches Mr President. She what?! 2. Worn-down Mike lies to Congress about USA's major Tower plan for Russia's capital. Well, he's guilty! 3. All somewhat conflict with Mike's narrative. 4. "Yes, I am." ... "Me too." 5. Cancel the majorly cancerous meeting? Oh crap, play nice!

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: Alan

'Deeply shameful': 258 runners caught cheating in Shenzhen's half marathon

(The Guardian)

Cheats ran home in ~ Chinese marathon

Anagram: Julian Lofts