Mueller Report Summary: No Collusion, No Exoneration

(Yahoo! News)

Mueller Report Summary: No Collusion, No Exoneration
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No Summons (eye roll); return to a more unipolar lexicon.

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Miki Jourdan

A Damaged Soul and a Disordered Personality

(The Atlantic)

A Damaged Soul and a Disordered Personality
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Trump: Old, orange, and diseased. Adios, already!

Anagram: Dharam Khalsa
Image: Rob Larsen

Trump Did Not Conspire with Russians in Election but Is Not Fully Exonerated

(Yahoo!)

Trump Did Not Conspire with Russians in Election
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Liar! Putin (Moscow) is his independent instructor

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: H. Michael Karshis

Mueller ends Russia-Trump probe, delivers report

(Canoe)

Rebellious Trump has sneered
=
Mueller ends the Russia probe

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jeff Gates

Country Singer Justin Carter Dead After Accidentally Shooting Himself on the Set of His Music Video

(MSN)

The death of country singer Justin Carter
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Gets hurt, shot in fact - injury to end career

Anagram: Chris Sturdy

Mouse proud: Rodent seen tidying up tools in garden shed in South Gloucestershire

(Sky News)

One untidy electrician, Stephen Mckears from Severn Beach in South Gloucestershire
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Shed user is in for rather nice shock; there on CCTV, mouse may be seen cleaning up litter!

Anagram: Chris Sturdy

'Never felt more ASHAMED to be a Tory' - Dominic Grieve attacks Theresa May

(The Daily Express)

Never felt more ASHAMED to be a Tory
=
Noted. Theresa May forever to blame

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Salzburg Global Seminar

See the first supermoon on the spring equinox in 19 years

(National Geographic)

“Super worm moon” lights up the vernal equinox
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Experts: "Novel, primal, unique...though no worms"

Anagram: Dharam Khalsa
Image: Twelvizm

Humpback whale found dead in Amazon jungle baffles scientists

(The New Zealand Herald)

This dead whale is discovered in the Amazon jungle. Is it termed a lie?
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The headline’s clever! Just amazing! So how indeed did it materialise?

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Selma Blair opens up about MS: 'People with disabilities are invisible'

(BBC)

The actress Selma Blair Beitner has ~ MS - alters her balance, she tires a bit

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Italy to BLOCK Brexit delay: Salvini plans eurosceptic favour to Farage

(The Daily Express)

Matteo Salvini
=
Salvation time

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Pietro Piupparco

How Cardinal George Pell Became the Highest-Ranking Catholic Official to Be Convicted of Child Abuse

(Rolling Stone)

Cardinal George Pell ~ recalled ogling, rape

Anagram: George Missailidis

Emotional support pit bull 'mauled girl at Portland airport'

(BBC)

How emotional support pit bull is enraged
=
One deplores a mutt who bit upon a girl’s lip

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image:

Sports cars keep getting stuck in the sand on Outer Banks beaches

(The Virginian-Pilot)

Sports cars keep getting stuck in the sand on Outer Banks beaches
=
Stupid teens or benign parents sunk hatchbacks, to seek escargot.

Anagram: Dharam Khalsa
Image: Linda

Australian man Brenton Tarrant named as Christchurch gunman as four taken into custody

(The West Australian)

Australian shooter Brenton Tarrant is ~ Satan. Abhorrent irrational nutter. SOS!

Anagram: Julian Lofts

A Thorough Guide to the College Cheating Scandal

(The Cut)

A Thorough Guide to the College Cheating Scandal
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Hell, coach, I graduate H.S. an ought get into coledge.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Noodle chopping robot saves restaurant owner thousands of dollars

Noodle chopping robot saves restaurant owner thousands of dollars
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Can toss bushels of long-loved narrow pasta into a pot, on rushed order.

Anagram: Dharam Khalsa

Dog helps out with laundry

(ABC News)

Dog helps out with laundry
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A proud hound slightly wet

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: Corri

Whoopi Goldberg: 'I came close to leaving the Earth'

(CNN)

Whoopi Goldberg: 'I came close to leaving the Earth'
=
Almost given a big core role with 'The Good Place', eh?

Anagram: Dharam Khalsa
Image: John Mathew Smith

Fed up Paris locals look to BAN Instagrammers who flood their cobbled street to take 'perfect' social media photos

(Daily Mail)

Locals are getting 'perfect' social media photos
=
'Floods the street', gets an image or pic? I call a cop!

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: Yelp