Boris Johnson insists odds of No Deal Brexit a ‘million to one’

(The Sun)

The odds of disorderly Brexit are a-million-to-one against.
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I'd relax, retired if I loaded money on Boris's longshot. Ta-ta!

Anagram: Chris Sturdy
Image: BScar23625

The Lion King review: Remake might be too realistic for its own good

(CNet)

The current adaptation of 'The Lion King'
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None thank the CGI - part of it ruined a lot!

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: David Holt

British trophy hunters killing 100 puffins a time then bringing them home as souvenirs

(Metro)

Puffin shooters abroad
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Photo's unsafe for a bird.

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: Kevin Millican

Scottish rape suspect faked death

(AP News)

Scottish rape suspect faked death
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The supposed attacker hides facts

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Rutger Hauer, star of Blade Runner, dies aged 75

(The Guardian)

Rutger Hauer (replicant Roy Batty) has died. This malcontent's flown
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The actor was the star in the gory dystopian cult film Bladerunner.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Bill Lile

Trump 'stands with the people who support him': Campaign

(ABC News)

"I have worked with President Trump for two years and he is not a racist: he is a compassionate man whose policies have focused on the minority community." - Mercedes Schlapp
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Unreceptive racist - no! Mamma mia... I mean, come on! After the monstrosity of words spoken in that order, I suppose we say she needs a wild vicious schlapp to the head (which I cry!)

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: Paul de Gregorio

Models Claim Alleged Assault and Harassment by Kardashian Photographer Marcus Hyde: ‘He’s a Complete Predator’

(Yahoo!)

Photographer Marcus Hyde
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Predator: "Oh, shag prey, chum!"
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O, shot her rump? Charged! Pay!

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: spaceamoeba

Organism eats man's brain

(The Charlotte Observer)

Organism eats man's brain ~ Amoeba stirs, snaring man

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Hiné Mizushima

Sun Yang faces lifetime ban: Chinese swim star’s career in balance as Wada appeal to CAS to overthrow Fina inaction over doping incident

(South China Morning Post)

The Chinese swimmer Sun Yang
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Hmm, yes - winner uses cheating

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: JD Lasica

Iran says US may have shot down its own drone by mistake

(USA Today)

US may have shot down its own drone
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Humor: Navy shot and we owned it. SOS!

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: US Navy

These cute creatures don’t mean to be rude — they just can’t help sticking their tongues out

(The Sun)

It is World Stick Out Your Tongue Day
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I do untidy gesticulatory workouts

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Valerie

Latitude festival accused of cruelty over pink sheep stunt

(INSERT_NEWSPAPER_NAME)

Dyeing a flock of sheep
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Had goofy pink fleeces

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: @markheybo

Train delayed as commuter's hair gets stuck in door

(MSN)

Train delayed as commuter's hair gets stuck in door
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It stranded metro carriage! You send us a locksmith!

Anagram: Chris Sturdy
Image: Ana Gasston

Top Moon Conspiracy Theories and Why They Are Stupid

(Live Science)

Top Ten Reasons the Moon Landings Could Be a Hoax: 10. The Waving Flag 9. Lack of Impact Crater 8. Multiple Light Sources 7. The Van Allen Radiation Belt 6. The Unexplained Object 5. Slow-Motion Walking and Hidden Cables 4. Lack of Stars 3. The "C" Rock 2. The Layered Cross-hairs 1. The Duplicate Backdrop

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10. Expected to be calm (no wind) 9. No dust kicked up on vehicle arrival 8. Wacky shadows 7. Harsh - humans can be fried 6. Reflection in astronaut's helmet 5. Stroll lag, exaggerated leaps 4. Nothing to block all constellations 3. Like a prop 2. Located behind objects 1. Identical match, though far apart

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Anthony Crider

Epstein denied bail

(CBS News)

Epstein denied bail
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Detain penis; be idle

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: PJ Nelson

Ocasio-Cortez on Trump rally: 'The president put millions of Americans in danger'

(The Guardian)

'It is about creating a volatile environment in this country through violent rhetoric that puts anyone, like Ilhan, anyone who believes in the rights of all people, in danger'
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Hah! The vile non-white anti-foreigner chant ‘Send her back!’ is politically ignorant. It is unintelligent. Hell, he is one vituperative arrogant SOB, a loony, no? Hey, vote Trump out!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: DonkeyHotey

Trump racism row: BBC audiences on being told to 'go home'

(BBC)

Trump, the racist President of America, wants to send “foreign” people back to where they came from. Yes ~ Trump is a bigot, is a moron. We know that people descend from many races. I respect the fact they’re free!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jeff Gates

Obituary: Andrew Graham-Yooll, the man who dared to report on Argentina's missing

(BBC)

The Buenos Aires Herald had news editor Andrew Graham-Yooll
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He was otherworldly, had reasoned role. Argentina abused him.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Buenos Aires Herald / CEDOC

German leader Merkel seen shaking for 3rd time in a month

(Yahoo!)

German leader Merkel seen shaking for third time in a month
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She remarked: "Nothing to fear, kind men. Mere thrills, I manage."

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: European People's Party

Time Magazine’s List of The Top Ten Abuses of Power

(Time)

Time Magazine’s List of The Top Ten Abuses of Power on their website 1. Richard Nixon's Plumbers 2. India's Telecoms Scandal 3. Dennis Kozlowski and the Tyco Roman Orgy 4. Gaddafi's Nepotism 5. Moshe Katsav and the Ministry Staffer 6. Silvio Berlusconi and the Bunga Bunga Parties 7. Kim Jong Il's Concubines 8. Roger Vangheluwe's Abuse Scandal 9. China's Food Safety Czar Accepts Bribes 10. Albert Fall's Teapot Dome But where on earth is President Trump?

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Scandalous Obscurantists, Fibbing Gentlemen 1. Watergate break-in 2. Bent Andimithu Raja 3. Pure tactlessness of conman’s ice Statue of David urinating vodka 4. Bizarre dictator’s beneficent old boy network 5. Israel’s President’s scandal 6. PM gambols with, beds sassy teen Karima El Mahroug 7. Schmaltziest Happy Corps cocottes 8. Bishop of Bruges’ pedophile offense 9. Zheng Xiaoyu sinned 10. Oil field Mammon. Ah, sinner. Love rat ruts with whores.

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alex D