Ellis Marsalis, New Orleans Jazz Patriarch, Dead at 85

(Pitchfork)

The New Orleans pianist Ellis Marsalis ~ perishes. Stellar man, innate loss, I wail

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alan Levine

Astrophysicist gets magnets stuck up nose while inventing coronavirus device

(The Guardian)

A really negligent scientific man sticks four magnets up his nose
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Listen up, this is an amusing gaffe, not rocket science (grins lamely)

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Daniel Reardon

Brazil’s Bolsonaro makes life-or-death coronavirus gamble

(ABC News)

Yes, the Brazilian President Bolsonaro is a real halfwit and imbecile
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He’s an idiot, bozo, ass, dimwit, certifiably insane pallbearer near Hell

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jeso Carneiro

Trump to Issue Travel Advisory for NY Region, Backing Off Quarantine Threat

(MSN)

This is the “strong” travel advisory of a specious President Trump
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Safe trip - don’t stay home, visit, leer, spit, snort, cough, spread virus

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

WHO launches global megatrial of the four most promising coronavirus treatments

(Science)

Hoorah! Hmm, that’s quite extraordinary and a winner! I sob, as in a nutshell, malefic Covid may soon yield to ~ that antimalarial nostrum Hydroxychloroquine and some of the newer HIV medications on a daily basis

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Sergio Santos

US Navy hospital ship Comfort heading to NYC for coronavirus aid

(ABC7 Chicago)

US Naval hospital ship Comfort
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Foolish chap Trump’s salvation

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image:

Trump invokes Defense Production Act to force GM to make ventilators for coronavirus fight

(NBC News)

President Trump has invoked the Defense Production Act for General Motors ~ to make respirators. Truth’s men do prefer funding to peddle the vaccine soon

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

Rep. Thomas Massie

(Politico)

Rep. Thomas Massie ~ a most prime assh**e

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Matt Johnson

Human teeth contain a record of life events

(CNN)

Human teeth contain a record of life events
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O, actions have left trace, found there in men

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Stanley Zimny

condom shortage looms as coronavirus shuts down production

(The Guardian)

There is a shortage of condoms looming
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Forego rash hot canoodling sometimes

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Bastian

Meghan’s ‘royal’ status quietly scrubbed from charity bio

(Geelong Advertiser)

Meghan’s ‘royal’ status is quietly scrubbed
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‘Suits’, Harry, baby.... Queen outclassed Ms Gilt

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Can Pac Swire

Did US agent Levinson die in Iran

(MSN)

Did US agent Levinson die in Iran?
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Iranis dug in, detained Levinson

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: giberno

Dyson to build at least 15,000 ventilators to treat coronavirus patients

(ITV)

Now this British polymath and the multitalented inventor of those wondrous Dyson vacuum cleaners ~ instantly volunteered to produce many medical ventilators for NHS use this month. Wow, is not bad, huh?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Dyson

Trump privately appeals to Asia and Europe for medical help to fight coronavirus

(The Guardian)

America will never be a supplicant nation to other countries ~ or vile cretinous paranoiac imbecile wants to run the planet?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Cayobo

Idiot TikTok user LICKS toilet seat in vile ‘coronavirus challenge’ as Piers Morgan calls for attempted murder charge

(The Sun)

Sick man seen licking the toilet seat
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It’s a TikTok challenge - it incenses me

Anagram: Julian Lofts

The Coronavirus Explained & What You Should Do

It's the Coronavirus disease: People may be sick with the virus for 1 to 14 days before developing symptoms. The most common symptoms of coronavirus disease (COVID-19) are fever, tiredness, and dry cough. Most people (about 80%) recover from the disease without needing special treatment.
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More than 149,811 people have been tested up across poor Australia for this very vicious spoken-of illness. Doctors/medics remain sombre, embedded with miffed devastation, trying to conduct more and more cases to see 0% happy tests of POSITIVE. However, resources might give out. My, my! :(

Anagram: George Missailidis

Don't be fooled. The coronavirus pandemic is deadly serious, and it's everyone's problem

(Yahoo!)

Don't be fooled. The coronavirus pandemic is deadly serious, and it's everyone's problem
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Doom? Proper, unsoiled, tidy hands been model for everyone! Social distance beats virus!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Image: New Jersey National Guard

Bizarre moment two ‘drunk’ elephants collapse after raiding village and drinking 30 litres of wine

(The Sun)

News: Two paralytic inebriated Asian elephants
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Starchy wine brew aids sleep in a tea plantation

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Thomas Hawk

Don't be fooled. The coronavirus pandemic is deadly serious, and it's everyone's problem.

(Los Angeles Times)

Don't be fooled. The coronavirus pandemic is deadly serious, and it's everyone's problem.
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"Seems not as developed as did the old bubonic infection many years previous." - Old error.

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: Sergio Santos

Country Music Icon Kenny Rogers Dies at 81

(Variety)

Iconic hymn yodeller idol Kenny Rogers found this out at heaven’s door ~ “No heavenly choirs for you old man - I don’t like country shit!”, sneered God

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Brett Jordan