WikiLeaks boss Julian Assange fathered two children inside the Ecuadorian embassy with lawyer, 37, who fell in love with him while helping his fight against extradition to the US

(Daily Mail)

That cheeky Australian Julian Assange has fathered two bonny sons, Gabriel and Max, with this cute lawyer Stella Morris
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Flirter had sex with soulmate at Ecuadorean embassy, sees natural births in jail - galls annoying Yanks who watch the rat

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Anarchimedia

Some abortions in Texas can resume

(CBS News)

Some abortions in Texas can resume ~ but some can't, so examine reason, sir

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Bernhard Schwarz

Global Coronavirus Deaths Cross 100,000, a Grim Milestone, as Cases Pass 1.6 Million

(The New York Times)

A grim milestone as virus deaths surpass one hundred thousand
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Meaning venal Trump’s disastrous theories handed USA shrouds

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Muffinn

Republicans Don’t Like What They’re Hearing

(The New York Times)

Republicans Don’t Like What They’re Hearing
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Rebuke twit Donnie graphically; he rants, eh?

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: FolsomNatural

Elbow bumps are the new handshake, here's why

(ABC News)

Touching elbows instead of shaking hands
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No laugh! Do nod! A new habit fights sickness!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: UNMEER

John Prine: this extraordinarily gifted songwriter was the envy of all

(INSERT_NEWSPAPER_NAME)

Mister John Prine has died unfortunately. This talented musician was a revered US folk and country songwriter
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I feel acute sorrow. I despair. Coronavirus’s just killed this funny and endearing man, attuned to Western rhythm

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jim Bahn

Trump blasts ex-Navy Capt. Brett Crozier, agrees ‘100%’ with ousting

(New York Post)

Acting Secretary Thomas Modly has fired the US Navy Captain Brett Crozier
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A grass, eh? Brazen critics and testy Trump have flayed the iconic martyr too

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Cayobo

Make America Great Again—Trump Must Go!

(New York Amsterdam News)

Donald Trump's campaign slogan "Make America Great Again"
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"I'm a damn large lame duck against a rampaging Corona pest!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: FolsonNatural

Acting Navy Secretary Slams Fired Captain as ‘Stupid’

(New York Post)

Acting Secretary Thomas Modly has fired the US Navy Captain Brett Crozier
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A grass, eh? Brazen critics and testy Trump have flayed the iconic martyr too

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

Coronavirus: PM admitted to hospital over virus symptoms

(BBC)

Gets sick with lobar pneumonia
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Egotistical UK PM’s in rehab now

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Number 10

"I’m not going to do it": Trump rejects his own administration’s advice on masks

(The Guardian)

The POTUS has said “As an example, we have almost 10,000 ventilators and we are ready to rock with those ventilators. We’re gonna bring them to various areas of the country that need them”
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Forsooth, what an odious throwaway comment he generates! Another wanton regrettable repartee, eh? The vexatious virus has killed nearly 10,000 victims. Oops, Manhattan’s devastated!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

Covid test results in minutes

(The Verge)

Covid test results in minutes
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it detects virus in tum, no less

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: US Pacific Fleet

Jazz guitarist Bucky Pizzarelli dies from coronavirus

(AP News)

One guitarist John Bucky Pizzarelli has died
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I’d liked his huge contribution as jazz player

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Shannon Ramos

Ellis Marsalis, New Orleans Jazz Patriarch, Dead at 85

(Pitchfork)

The New Orleans pianist Ellis Marsalis ~ perishes. Stellar man, innate loss, I wail

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alan Levine

Astrophysicist gets magnets stuck up nose while inventing coronavirus device

(The Guardian)

A really negligent scientific man sticks four magnets up his nose
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Listen up, this is an amusing gaffe, not rocket science (grins lamely)

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Daniel Reardon

Brazil’s Bolsonaro makes life-or-death coronavirus gamble

(ABC News)

Yes, the Brazilian President Bolsonaro is a real halfwit and imbecile
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He’s an idiot, bozo, ass, dimwit, certifiably insane pallbearer near Hell

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jeso Carneiro

Trump to Issue Travel Advisory for NY Region, Backing Off Quarantine Threat

(MSN)

This is the “strong” travel advisory of a specious President Trump
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Safe trip - don’t stay home, visit, leer, spit, snort, cough, spread virus

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

WHO launches global megatrial of the four most promising coronavirus treatments

(Science)

Hoorah! Hmm, that’s quite extraordinary and a winner! I sob, as in a nutshell, malefic Covid may soon yield to ~ that antimalarial nostrum Hydroxychloroquine and some of the newer HIV medications on a daily basis

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Sergio Santos

US Navy hospital ship Comfort heading to NYC for coronavirus aid

(ABC7 Chicago)

US Naval hospital ship Comfort
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Foolish chap Trump’s salvation

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image:

Trump invokes Defense Production Act to force GM to make ventilators for coronavirus fight

(NBC News)

President Trump has invoked the Defense Production Act for General Motors ~ to make respirators. Truth’s men do prefer funding to peddle the vaccine soon

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural