Amy Schumer admits she made a mess of baby's name

(RTÉ)

Gene Attell Fischer is US comedian Amy Beth Schumer’s son’s kosher name
=
Hmm, by chance the hero’s name seems to sound like “Genital fissure”. Crass!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Amy Schumer / Instagram

Coronavirus: ‘Liberate’ states protesting against lockdown, says Trump

(BBC)

President Trump says that "we'll be the comeback kids"
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Lambast him - tweets stir up redneck blockhead types

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Muffinn

The Brightest Supernova Ever

(Gizmodo)

The Brightest Supernova Ever
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Observe sheath rig erupt, vent

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center

Trump Finds His Own Dumb Endless War

(The New Republic)

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
=
Doubly fits Trump! Short-sighted, dim,
True attribute: Inane!
Inane! Inane!
Innate hue, unwise,
The nit's ever so vain!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Jeff Gates

Trump's decision to cut WHO funding is an act of international vandalism

(The Guardian)

President Trump withholds money to ~ WHO most imprudently, then riposted

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

Trump pushes the limits of presidential powers to an already anxious country

(CNN)

Trump is pushing the limits of presidential powers
=
Impulse is with emphasis on interrupted golf trips!
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Rise whilst dumping partners implies he is out of TP!
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In mire, his last few supporting people distrust him.

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Thomas Hawk

Chernobyl Wildfires Stir Up Radiation

(The New York Times)

Chernobyl Wildfires Stir Up Radiation ~ and wind up total horrible fiery crisis

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Carsten ten Brink

Loughlin's fake photos released

(New York Post)

Loughlin's fake photos released
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Aha! Girl unpeeled. She looks soft.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: City Year

Ray of hope

(Twitter)

Ray of hope https://t.co/yBUSU7h2KT pic.twitter.com/F2PB78iXrl

— Daily Nation (@dailynation) April 12, 2020

Ray of hope
=
Yeah, proof?

WikiLeaks boss Julian Assange fathered two children inside the Ecuadorian embassy with lawyer, 37, who fell in love with him while helping his fight against extradition to the US

(Daily Mail)

That cheeky Australian Julian Assange has fathered two bonny sons, Gabriel and Max, with this cute lawyer Stella Morris
=
Flirter had sex with soulmate at Ecuadorean embassy, sees natural births in jail - galls annoying Yanks who watch the rat

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Anarchimedia

Some abortions in Texas can resume

(CBS News)

Some abortions in Texas can resume ~ but some can't, so examine reason, sir

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Bernhard Schwarz

Global Coronavirus Deaths Cross 100,000, a Grim Milestone, as Cases Pass 1.6 Million

(The New York Times)

A grim milestone as virus deaths surpass one hundred thousand
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Meaning venal Trump’s disastrous theories handed USA shrouds

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Muffinn

Republicans Don’t Like What They’re Hearing

(The New York Times)

Republicans Don’t Like What They’re Hearing
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Rebuke twit Donnie graphically; he rants, eh?

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: FolsomNatural

Elbow bumps are the new handshake, here's why

(ABC News)

Touching elbows instead of shaking hands
=
No laugh! Do nod! A new habit fights sickness!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: UNMEER

John Prine: this extraordinarily gifted songwriter was the envy of all

(INSERT_NEWSPAPER_NAME)

Mister John Prine has died unfortunately. This talented musician was a revered US folk and country songwriter
=
I feel acute sorrow. I despair. Coronavirus’s just killed this funny and endearing man, attuned to Western rhythm

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jim Bahn

Trump blasts ex-Navy Capt. Brett Crozier, agrees ‘100%’ with ousting

(New York Post)

Acting Secretary Thomas Modly has fired the US Navy Captain Brett Crozier
=
A grass, eh? Brazen critics and testy Trump have flayed the iconic martyr too

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Cayobo

Make America Great Again—Trump Must Go!

(New York Amsterdam News)

Donald Trump's campaign slogan "Make America Great Again"
=
"I'm a damn large lame duck against a rampaging Corona pest!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: FolsonNatural

Acting Navy Secretary Slams Fired Captain as ‘Stupid’

(New York Post)

Acting Secretary Thomas Modly has fired the US Navy Captain Brett Crozier
=
A grass, eh? Brazen critics and testy Trump have flayed the iconic martyr too

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

Coronavirus: PM admitted to hospital over virus symptoms

(BBC)

Gets sick with lobar pneumonia
=
Egotistical UK PM’s in rehab now

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Number 10

"I’m not going to do it": Trump rejects his own administration’s advice on masks

(The Guardian)

The POTUS has said “As an example, we have almost 10,000 ventilators and we are ready to rock with those ventilators. We’re gonna bring them to various areas of the country that need them”
=
Forsooth, what an odious throwaway comment he generates! Another wanton regrettable repartee, eh? The vexatious virus has killed nearly 10,000 victims. Oops, Manhattan’s devastated!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural