Trump says disinfectant, bleach and ultra-violet light comments were 'sarcastic'

(V)

As theories fit, pedant says bleach and light are wise cures
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The President of the USA said he was really being sarcastic
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Nasty ape is daft, theorises bleach and light are wise cures

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Átomo Cartún

Coronavirus: US President Donald Trump suggests 'injecting disinfectant' to treat COVID-19, 'clean the lungs'

(Newshub)

“Inject yourselves with disinfectant,” said the President
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Er, that just isn’t very scientific, Einstein! So addled. Phew!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Phil Venditti

Queen reaches remarkable milestone as she becomes the FOURTH longest-serving monarch, surpassing 7th century Mayan ruler Pakal the Great

(Daily Mail)

Queen Elizabeth II, Great Britain's longest reigning monarch
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No equal! Amazing bright noble is energetic! She ain't retiring!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Ben Terrett

Meet Anthony Fauci, the epidemic expert trying to shape the White House’s coronavirus response

(Science)

The Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases
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I see Dr. Anthony Fauci is fit, steadfast, resolute, intelligent and heroic too

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

Kite-flying Monkey

(UPI)

Kite-flying Monkey
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O my, 't feeling kinky

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

Coronavirus journey: The 'last cruise ship on Earth' finally comes home

(BBC)

This 'last cruise ship on the Earth', the Magnifica, finally comes home
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Face mayhem, catastrophe in infectious hellholes, it’s nightmarish!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: kees torn

The scapegoater-in-chief is at it again — and again

(The Hill)

The scapegoater-in-chief is at it again - and again
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A giant ego trip act is an infinite headache saga!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Muffinn

Comprehensive measures are being taken to prevent from a new coronavirus infection in the Republic of Komi

(Republic of Komi)

Komi
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I’m OK

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Calliope Gazetas

Amy Schumer admits she made a mess of baby's name

(RTÉ)

Gene Attell Fischer is US comedian Amy Beth Schumer’s son’s kosher name
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Hmm, by chance the hero’s name seems to sound like “Genital fissure”. Crass!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Amy Schumer / Instagram

Coronavirus: ‘Liberate’ states protesting against lockdown, says Trump

(BBC)

President Trump says that "we'll be the comeback kids"
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Lambast him - tweets stir up redneck blockhead types

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Muffinn

The Brightest Supernova Ever

(Gizmodo)

The Brightest Supernova Ever
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Observe sheath rig erupt, vent

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: NASA's Marshall Space Flight Center

Trump Finds His Own Dumb Endless War

(The New Republic)

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein
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Doubly fits Trump! Short-sighted, dim,
True attribute: Inane!
Inane! Inane!
Innate hue, unwise,
The nit's ever so vain!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Jeff Gates

Trump's decision to cut WHO funding is an act of international vandalism

(The Guardian)

President Trump withholds money to ~ WHO most imprudently, then riposted

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

Trump pushes the limits of presidential powers to an already anxious country

(CNN)

Trump is pushing the limits of presidential powers
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Impulse is with emphasis on interrupted golf trips!
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Rise whilst dumping partners implies he is out of TP!
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In mire, his last few supporting people distrust him.

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Thomas Hawk

Chernobyl Wildfires Stir Up Radiation

(The New York Times)

Chernobyl Wildfires Stir Up Radiation ~ and wind up total horrible fiery crisis

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Carsten ten Brink

Loughlin's fake photos released

(New York Post)

Loughlin's fake photos released
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Aha! Girl unpeeled. She looks soft.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: City Year

Ray of hope

(Twitter)

Ray of hope https://t.co/yBUSU7h2KT pic.twitter.com/F2PB78iXrl

— Daily Nation (@dailynation) April 12, 2020

Ray of hope
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Yeah, proof?

WikiLeaks boss Julian Assange fathered two children inside the Ecuadorian embassy with lawyer, 37, who fell in love with him while helping his fight against extradition to the US

(Daily Mail)

That cheeky Australian Julian Assange has fathered two bonny sons, Gabriel and Max, with this cute lawyer Stella Morris
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Flirter had sex with soulmate at Ecuadorean embassy, sees natural births in jail - galls annoying Yanks who watch the rat

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Anarchimedia

Some abortions in Texas can resume

(CBS News)

Some abortions in Texas can resume ~ but some can't, so examine reason, sir

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Bernhard Schwarz

Global Coronavirus Deaths Cross 100,000, a Grim Milestone, as Cases Pass 1.6 Million

(The New York Times)

A grim milestone as virus deaths surpass one hundred thousand
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Meaning venal Trump’s disastrous theories handed USA shrouds

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Muffinn