Unexplained metal monolith discovered in remote area of Utah's Red Rock Country

(USA Today)

The strange metal monolith was found in the Red Rock desert, Utah
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Oh, what strong infernal heathens made odd totem-like structure?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Blake Patterson

Diego Maradona obituary: ‘I did not cheat - it was cunning, craftiness’

(The Week)

Diego Maradona has left the universal football pitch permanently
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“I’m apt at the infamous errant prehensile ‘Hand of God’ volleyball act!”

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Paul

Crested Rats Can Kill With Their Poisonous Fur

(LiveScience)

Crested Rats Can Kill With Their Poisonous Fur
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its trick repulses other wild fauna. (No ostrich!)

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Kevin Deacon / Wikimedia

Bay Area has the most expensive ZIP codes in the US

(Silicon Valley Business Journal)

Bay Area has the most expensive ZIP codes in the US
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Ah, those zippy bid costs mean heavier taxes ensue

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: jongorey

Remarks by President Trump on the Economy

(The Washington Post)

The Dow Jones Industrial Average - “That’s a sacred number,” the idiotic American President Trump crowed
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Mr Joe Biden wept, aware US COVID deaths are considered manslaughter - impeach nutter, indict traitors!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Pinke

Trump 'congratulates' his country, doesn't mention concession

(The New Zealand Herald)

“I just want to congratulate the people of this country because there are no people like you” said Donald Trump
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Eureka! Um, reputedly a part concession too. Applause for Joe - he won the blatantly disputed election outright!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Mike Finn

Duchess Meghan Reveals She Had Miscarriage

(National Public Radio)

Duchess Meghan Reveals She Had Miscarriage
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Gad, she's sad, Archie's mum, revealing her aches.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Dan Lacey

Japanese town deploys 'Monster Wolf' robots to deter wild bears

(CNN)
Embed from Getty Images

Japanese town deploys 'Monster Wolf' robots to deter the wild bears
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Job needs (it's not a toy): 1. Stand; 2. Resemble werewolf; 3. Spot predator; 4. Howl

Anagram: Dharam

Key government agency acknowledges Biden's win and begins formal transition

(CNN)
Embed from Getty Images

The General Services Administration
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Mr T’s enraged lies achieve transition

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Trump calls on GOP state legislatures to overturn election results

(Politico)

Trump calls on GOP state legislatures to overturn election results
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Total lunatic struggles on! Most corrupt ill POTUS stealer ever seen!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Pinke

Trump Is One of the Worst Leaders on Earth, According to the Rest of the World

(Vice)

Here are Some of the Worst Dictators of the Modern Age 1. Adolf Hitler 2. Josef Stalin 3. Mao Tse Tung 4. King Leopold II 5. Idi Amin Dada 6. Robert Mugabe 7. Pol Pot 8. Saddam Hussein 9. Kim Il-Sung 10. Donald Trump

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1. Killed millions of Jews 2. Top Russian 3. Millions died 4. Belgium 5. Uganda - utter gangster 6. President 7. Cambodia - no reformist 8. That hoodlum 9. North Korea 10. MAGA imposter - fat hotheaded oaf deposed

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Lynn Friedman

It's back to business for Trump, the 'King of Debt'

(Stuff.co.nz)

“Imagine a Mad Max landscape of irritated cannibal mutants picking at the bones of a dying empire. That's Trump's future“
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Think camp orange-faced dummy Mel Gibson as enigmatic fat ex-POTUS and hip, fit Tina Turner as a rabid Melania T - sputter!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Amaury Laporte

Get Black Mayonnaise Out

(The Street Journal)

Get Black Mayonnaise Out
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alas, been icky mutant goo

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Ryan McFarland

Company debunks conspiracy theory that its server showed a landslide for Trump

(CNN)

“President Trump has won the US election by a landslide”
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Bad lies, untruths and tweets online misled a prophecy

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Lynn Friedman

Coronavirus: Donald Trump Jr tests positive for Covid-19

(The New Zealand Herald)

The eldest son of President Donald Trump tests positive for coronavirus
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IV Remdesivir for foul son, detested tosspot plutocrat, ardent phoniness

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jeff Gates

Give Me Donald Trump’s Daily Schedule, Please

(Vanity Fair)

The President has no public events scheduled today
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Biden stunned sly hothead, stopped reclusive cheat

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: TheTurducken

Giuliani Is Said to Seek $20,000 a Day Payment for Trump Legal Work

(The New York Times)

President Trump's personal lawyer, Rudolph W. Giuliani
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Repugnant raw lump howls in dour lie-slippery tirades!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: DonkeyHotey

'People may die' if Trump continues to obstruct handover, says Biden

(Brisbane Times)

'People may die' if Trump continues to obstruct handover, says President-elect Biden
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To decline/preempt transition of my US president can't ease trouble pushed by COVID

Anagram: George Missailidis
Image: Jeff Gates

Trump's election lawsuits plagued by elementary errors

(Journal Review)

“I've never seen an election lawyer handle a case as poorly as Mr Rudolph Giuliani has” said Rick Hasen
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Very humiliating aphasia, no ideas, very nonsensical earache, unrehearsed codswallop, lies rankle

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Mike Licht

Donald Trump and The Definition of Insanity

(Medium)

“Donald Trump is the most severe case of (a Dictator Personality Disorder) I’ve seen in my career”
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Inane old Mr T mesmerises as a very paranoid sociopathic destroyer - deter destructive felon

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Jeff Gates