Donald Trump plans to end his presidency at Mar-a-Lago as Biden takes oath

(USA Today)

Donald Trump plans to end his presidency at Mar-a-Lago as Biden takes oath
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It appals! Decadent angry blood-on-his-hands POTUS retreats like a madman!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Miki Jourdan

Operation Warp Speed crashes bigly

(Politico)

Operation Warp Speed crashes bigly
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Hey, gal, proper process awaits Biden

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: outtacontext

Franklin Graham Compares ten Republicans Who Voted to Impeach Trump to Betrayal of Christ

(Newsweek)

Franklin Graham Compares ten Republicans Who Voted to Impeach Trump to Betrayal of Christ
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F**K CRAP! The loyalists to the venom-abhorrent brute-macho maniac Trump are flipping cowards!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Ninian Reid

Alexey Navalny detained on return to Russia

(CNN)

Alexey Navalny detained on return to Russia
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Never say nyet! National leader (turd), anxious.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Denis Mironov

Trump explodes at Nixon comparisons as he prepares to leave office

(CNN)

Trump explodes at Nixon comparisons as he prepares to leave office
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Oh! Vile temper exposes exasperated mania! Corrupt loon can "PISS OFF!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Stan Wiechers

Ben & Jerry’s calls for Trump’s removal after Capitol riots, urges 25th Amendment be invoked

(Fox 13)

Buckets of Ben and Jerry's New Trump Ice Cream - Huh...? LOL!
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Reflects news, Mr. "Double Impeach, Chunky Rear, Nut Job"

Anagram: Steve Allison
Image: Jeff Gates

Rudy Giuliani Loses Honorary Degree From Middlebury College in Capitol Riot's Aftermath

(Newsweek)

Rudy Giuliani Loses Honorary Degree From Middlebury College in Capitol Riot's Aftermath
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Sod a sheer fool! Dirty lying rogue aided megalomaniac Trump's utterly horrific rebellion!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Powell Burns

What Should We Call the Sixth of January?

(The New Yorker)

What Should We Call the Sixth of January?
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WTF Day. Uh, well also: Hate, Hurt, Chaos & Jinx...

Anagram: Steve Allison
Image: Jeff Gates

Trump Takes A Last Look At His Border Wall As Congress Considers Impeachment

(National Public Radio)

Trump Takes A Last Look At His Border Wall As Congress Considers Impeachment
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Good lad!? The wall can't keep back prosecutors & harassers, Mr T. A loss is imminent.

Anagram: Steve Allison
Image: Chris Beckett

Two Capitol Police officers suspended; ten more under investigation

(CNN)

Two Capitol Police officers suspended; ten more under investigation
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Cops were too unfit; caused sedition. "Cripple government!" No, it's failed.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Tim Evanson

Chad Wolf has resigned as acting secretary for the Homeland Security Department

(The New York Times)

Chad Wolf has resigned as acting secretary for the Homeland Security Department
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"Secret" man (a wolf in sheep's clothing): "Mad scary guy threatened - Fired! Charred toast!"

Anagram: Steve Allison
Image: US Embassy Panama

Split in two: magicians to celebrate 100 years of sawing people in half

(The Guardian)

Magicians to celebrate one hundred years of sawing people in half
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An alarmingly realistic epic bondage - no-one suffers death, we hope!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: VSPYCC

QAnon Believers Were Part Of Mob That Stormed The Capitol

(BuzzFeed)

Conspiracy theory
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A hypnotic sorcery
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Sycophancy rioter

Anagram: Pamela
Image: Chad Davis

‘Trump blows up US democracy’: the world watches on in horror

(The Guardian)

“Trump blows up American democracy. A day that will go down in history. A president to be thrown in the dustbin of history,” says South American political commentator Eliane Cantanhede
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A coup d’etat stunt in the Capitol by domestic terrorists and macho counterforces who worship and obey an amoral, mentally ill bigot, a naysayer who didn’t win. Impeach him! Entertain us!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Backbone Campaign

Donald Trump awards Annika Sorenstam, Gary Player Presidential Medal of Freedom

(INSERT_NEWSPAPER_NAME)

Three of the US Presidential Medal of Freedom recipients today
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I seethe for addled Trump prefers to deify ‘Hole in one’ catamites

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Mike Licht

President Trump Confirms He Will Not Attend President-elect Biden's Inauguration

(Town & Country)

President Trump confirms he will not attend Biden's inauguration
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Mad funambulist plotting another insurrection/predestined win

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: TheTurducken

Trump's desperate attempt to save his imploding presidency

(CNN)

Trump's desperate attempt to save his imploding presidency
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Press: Dignity and respect are lost. Past time to dump him! Veep?

Anagram: Dharam
Image: TheTurducken

Calls intensify to remove Trump from office even as he acknowledges ‘a new administration’

(Washington Post)

Calls intensify to remove Trump from presidential office
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Effective immediately for insurrection plots from plans

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: IoSonoUnaFotoCamera

Jack Ma disappears from his own talent show

(Financial Times)

Mister Ma disappears from his own Chinese reality talent show
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He worships fame. Honestly, it’s a crime. Was maltreated in prison

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Paul Kagame

Pastor’s battle with two great white sharks is heaven sent

(USA Today)

Pastor’s battle with two great white sharks is heaven sent
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Eek! Theater & higher vows: Pastor's battle with Satan's twins!

Anagram: Steve Allison
Image: Nathan Rupert