Captain Sir Tom Moore has died, aged 100

(Leicester Mercury)
Embed from Getty Images

Captain Sir Tom Moore has perished
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Oh, patriotic man impressed as hero

Anagram: Julian Lofts

'She is weighing us down': Georgia GOP cringes at Marjorie Taylor Greene spectacle

(Politico)

'She is weighing us down': Georgia GOP cringes at Marjorie Taylor Greene spectacle
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A grim unhinged gawping gal goes & ejects worst, eerie conspiracy theories galore!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: DonkeyHotey

Trump’s actions described as ‘a betrayal of historic proportions’ in trial brief filed by House impeachment managers

(Washington Post)

The Inaugural Presidential Oath Of Office: "I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States. So help me God"
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Impeached for 'Incitement of Insurrection', abusive Tweet nit Donald Trump once swore this essential oath. Totally self-fixated, totally petty, hateful, hot-headed, bigoted, deceitful ill despot, he typifies the foulest of the Founding Fathers fears in woe.

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Ron Cogswell

Joe Biden rolls up his sleeves

(The Guardian)

The Twelve Labors of Hercules 1. Eliminate the Nemean Lion 2. Kill the Lernean Hydra 3. Capture the Golden Hind 4. Capture the Erymanthian Boar 5. Clean the Stables of King Augeas in a day 6. Annihilate the Stymphalian Birds 7. Capture the Cretan Bull 8. Return the Mares of Diomedes 9. Obtain the Belt of Hippolyta 10. Obtain the Cattle of Geryon 11. Steal the Golden Apples from the Garden of Hesperides 12. Must take Cerberus captive

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The Herculean Tasks for Biden 1. Beat the Orangutan Trump 2. Drain the Republican Swamp 3. Stop the Pandemic 4. Abolish the Death Penalty 5. Redraft the Bill of Immigration 6. Let the many hapless detainees go 7. Tackle the Chinese Dragon 8. Neutralise the Russian Putin 9. Destroy the Nuclear Program of Iran 10. Solve the Change of Climate 11. Delete the North Korean Leader 12. Ban the *bleep* boloney, the bile 13. Stay alive effectually

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Illustration: Chris Riddell

Toys 'R' Us Closes All Again

(CNN)

Toys 'R' Us Closes All Again
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loss years causing a toll

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Mike Kalasnik

wo Proud Boys members indicted for conspiracy in US Capitol riots

(CNBC)

Two Proud Boys members indicted for conspiracy in US Capitol riots
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Cops so claim proof: Boys aided worst insurrection incited by Trump!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Chad Davis

Mayor Aims to Turn Small Town Into QAnon, USA

(The Daily Beast)

Mayor Aims to Turn Small Town Into QAnon, USA
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A stunt? No, monitors anonymous Q: "Martial law!"

Anagram: Steve Allison
Image: Marc Nozell

Trump's legal battles: How six cases may play out

(BBC)

Deposed President Donald Trump's legal battles: How six cases may play out 1. The hush-money allegations 2. The tax and bank fraud investigation 3. The real-estate fraud investigation 4. The emoluments cases 5. The sexual misconduct lawsuits 6. The Mary Trump lawsuit

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Guilty thanks to utmost slyness, theft, undue nonsense 1. Sex with Stormy Daniels 2. Tough sceptical Manhattan DA attests that ape paid low tax sum 3. To over/under value properties 4. Illegal but largely academic 5. Defamation, sexual abuse 6. Hmm, she was disinherited

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: FolsomNatural

Definitions of Trump

Definitions of Trump: Noun 1. (in bridge, whist, and similar card games) a playing card of the suit chosen to rank above the others, which can win a trick where a card of a different suit has been led. 2. a valuable resource that may be used, especially as a surprise, in order to gain an advantage. 3. a helpful or admirable person. Verb 4. (in bridge, whist, and similar card games) play a trump on (a card of another suit). 5. surpass (something) by saying or doing something better.

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1. worst, most embarrassing, corrupt and anti-democratic President in history - a haemorroid on the arse of the US 2. a self-serving conman, a fibber, a cheat, a defrauder, a dullard and a fruitcake who believes in wappenshawing 3. a malignant narcissist with vile orange fake tan/combover, surrounded by egregious sycophants/pals 4. steady Mr Biden fairly beats begrudging nepotistic megalomaniac - HURRAH! 5. disappeared in the dustbin of history - HALLELUIAH!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: WebSphinx

'Welcome Back America': Newspapers around the world react to Biden's inauguration

(CNN)

'Welcome Back America': Newspapers around the world react to Biden's inauguration
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All concur, to be rid cantankerous angrier manic baddie Trump was a sweet "Whoopee"!!!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

Wall Street hits record high with Biden swear-in

(Yahoo!)

Wall Street hits record high with Biden swear-in
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Traders' third win; white-hot shares blew ceiling
(third win: Dow, S&P, and Nasdaq)

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Geoff Livingston

US youth poet Amanda Gorman

(CNN)

US youth poet Amanda Gorman
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You're on a path, madam. Go nuts!

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Peter Stevens

Biden Says Trump Left Him A ‘Very Generous’ Letter—But Offers No Clues To What It Might Say

(Forbes)

Biden Says Trump Left Him A ‘Very Generous’ Letter—But Offers No Clues To What It Might Say
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Haha POTUS,
Less bigly win. Covfefe?
Regards,
Your most bitter hateful nuttiest enemy,
Mr T

Biden Says Trump Left Him A ‘Very Generous’ Letter--But Offers No Clues To What It Might Say
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The vultures fret I'm using a hasty subtle poison. Easy memorable effect. Worth trying. -DT

Anagram: Julian Lofts, Dharam
Image: Ron Cogswell

Donald Trump plans to end his presidency at Mar-a-Lago as Biden takes oath

(USA Today)

Donald Trump plans to end his presidency at Mar-a-Lago as Biden takes oath
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It appals! Decadent angry blood-on-his-hands POTUS retreats like a madman!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Miki Jourdan

Operation Warp Speed crashes bigly

(Politico)

Operation Warp Speed crashes bigly
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Hey, gal, proper process awaits Biden

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: outtacontext

Franklin Graham Compares ten Republicans Who Voted to Impeach Trump to Betrayal of Christ

(Newsweek)

Franklin Graham Compares ten Republicans Who Voted to Impeach Trump to Betrayal of Christ
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F**K CRAP! The loyalists to the venom-abhorrent brute-macho maniac Trump are flipping cowards!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Ninian Reid

Alexey Navalny detained on return to Russia

(CNN)

Alexey Navalny detained on return to Russia
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Never say nyet! National leader (turd), anxious.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Denis Mironov

Trump explodes at Nixon comparisons as he prepares to leave office

(CNN)

Trump explodes at Nixon comparisons as he prepares to leave office
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Oh! Vile temper exposes exasperated mania! Corrupt loon can "PISS OFF!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Stan Wiechers

Ben & Jerry’s calls for Trump’s removal after Capitol riots, urges 25th Amendment be invoked

(Fox 13)

Buckets of Ben and Jerry's New Trump Ice Cream - Huh...? LOL!
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Reflects news, Mr. "Double Impeach, Chunky Rear, Nut Job"

Anagram: Steve Allison
Image: Jeff Gates

Rudy Giuliani Loses Honorary Degree From Middlebury College in Capitol Riot's Aftermath

(Newsweek)

Rudy Giuliani Loses Honorary Degree From Middlebury College in Capitol Riot's Aftermath
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Sod a sheer fool! Dirty lying rogue aided megalomaniac Trump's utterly horrific rebellion!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Powell Burns