First Lady Jill Biden's 'fishnet' stockings kick off online controversy

(The New Zealand Herald)

Joking aside, stylists blench, flirts find ~ First Lady Jill Biden's 'fishnet' stockings

Anagram: Julian Lofts

'Angriest octopus' lashes out at man on Australia beach

(Reuters)

Angry octopus lashes out at man on Australia beach
=
Humans that can brutalise our seacoast? An apology?!?

Anagram: Dharam
Image: damn_unique

Europe’s third wave: ‘It’s spreading fast and it’s spreading everywhere’

(Yahoo!)

Europe’s third wave
=
How virus repeated
=
We adopt virus here
=
Preview our deaths

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: Karen Eliot

"Happy Easter to radical left crazies": Donald Trump issues bizarre message

(The New Zealand Herald)

Trump says “Happy Easter to ALL, including the Radical Left CRAZIES who rigged our Presidential Election, and want to destroy our Country”
=
You desperate pathological liar, ludicrous twitterer, crazed psychopath, terrorist and cunning egotist - you dwell in mere fantasyland

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: IoSonoUnaFotoCamera

Birthday greetings from Norway!

It's time for celebrations, and to wish you a very happy, ~ festive cosy birthday party Anu! Also in trim! Whoopee!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Rep. Matt Gaetz Under Investigation for Alleged Sexual Relationship With Underage Girl

(The Wall Street Journal)

Lawyer and Republican Matthew Gaetz is Under Investigation for Alleged Sexual Relationship With Underage Girl
=
A sex crazed, gunslinging, ultra-virile paedophile wails, is guilty and regretful, aware that he won’t be renominated

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Gage Skidmore

Uranus Smells and Squirts X-Rays

(Weatherboy)

X-rays have been detected coming from Uranus
=
Maybe even infrared turds, gas come next. Ouch!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: NASA

Watergate burglar G Gordon Liddy dies

(Washington Post)

Watergate burglar G Gordon Liddy dies ~ guilty brigand goes to gladder reward

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: John Mathew Smith

'Healing' crystals are having a pandemic moment. But science says they're just pretty stones

(Washington Post)

'Healing' crystals are having a pandemic moment. But science says they're just pretty stones
=
Heavens! Many smart types jointly step, then assert occult's eerie magic cures anything bad!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Bacardi Babe

Trump is losing the war over his legacy

(Washington Post)

Trump is losing the war over his legacy
=
In a highly grim scale, worst POTUS ever!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Mattias Åström

Judge Invalidates Trump’s NDA

(The Daily Beast)

Judge Invalidates Trump’s NDA
=
darned NDA: it's just vague, limp

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Kevin Sato

CDC Director Fears 'Impending Doom' If US Opens Too Quickly

(National Public Radio)

CDC's director fears 'Impending Doom' if USA opens too quickly
=
Deduced good equipment for frisky classroom is not a picnic!

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Elvert Barnes

Voter suppression is violence

(Google Arts & Culture)

Voter suppression is violence
=
Evil‘s never so pernicious - STOP!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Smithsonian National Museum of American History

Human penises are shrinking because of pollution, scientists confirm

(Yahoo! News)

Human penises are shrinking because of pollution, scientists confirm
=
It's usual scientific phenomena: men pricks are short, no sinful big ones!

Anagram: Pinchas Aronas
Image: Bernard Spragg. NZ

Sidney Powell does an about-face on her Stop the Steal claims

(Washington Post)
Embed from Getty Images

Sidney Powell does an about-face on her Stop the Steal claims
=
Loyal fanatic to swine Trump! Hopeless boneheaded cat loses!

Anagram: Maurice Goddard

Suez Canal blocked by giant container ship run aground

(Deutsche Welle)

Suez Canal blocked by giant container ship
=
Dozen calls, I bet: "Can anyone back this rig up?!"

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Sentinel Hub

Painting of Prince Harry is sold for £2,350 despite being created by a PIG in just a few minutes

(The Sun)

A South African porcine prodigy’s artistic masterpiece
=
I, tame critter “Pigcasso” paint Prince Harry’s odious face

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Rich people are dodging more taxes

(New York Post)

Rich people are dodging more taxes
=
Toxic greed-heads err. Pop 'em in gaol!

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Christian Guthier

Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion Give Electric “WAP” Performance | 2021 GRAMMY Awards Show

(Grammy Awards)
Embed from Getty Images

Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion at the Grammys
=
Condemn girls that gyrate and sham labia meet

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club partially closed after staff infected with coronavirus

(Washington Post)

Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Club partially closed after staff infected with coronavirus
=
Trump: "Horrors! Call a doc! Give all my staff disinfectant! Tab it as a powerful cure!"

Anagram: Maurice Goddard
Image: Duncan C