NASA ‘sandblasts’ dust from InSight lander

(Astronomy Now)

NASA ‘sandblasts’ dust from InSight lander
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if sand slats, nabs more standard sunlight

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Image: NASA/JPL

Julie Burchill says she’s been sacked by Telegraph after racist tweet about Harry and Meghan’s baby Lilibet

(The Independent)

Ms Julie Burchill tweeted: “What a missed opportunity! They could have called it Georgina Floydina!”
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Uh, in my view, I just tweet, elated Harry and Meghan’s daft child could be teleologically propitious

Anagram: Julian Lofts

South African woman gives birth to decuplets

(UPI)

South African decuplet
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Oh, accept is fraudulent

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Watermelons Found on Mars!

(Futurism)

Watermelons Found on Mars!
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and moron formulates news

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Image: NASA

Boko Haram leader killed on orders of ISIS

(The Guardian)

Boko Haram leader killed on orders of ISIS
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BOOM! So, old Afrikan killer, err , he is so dead

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Image: Michael Fleshman

Forty dead in Pakistan train disaster

(BBC)
Embed from Getty Images

Forty dead in Pakistan train disaster
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O, transit insanity fated dark despair

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Darkside ransom recovered

(USA Today)

Darkside ransom recovered
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Reds' ranks raided, overcome

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Image: WeissenbachPR

Kayakers save pair of eagles drowning in Danube river

(BBC)

Kayakers save pair of eagles drowning in the Danube river
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Er, kerplunk! What a saga! Renegade birds revivify in a noose

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Donald Trump mocked after claiming he will be reinstated as US President by August

(The New Zealand Herald)

Donald Trump mocked after claiming he will be reinstated as the US President by August
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Undeterred, hated bombast’s attitude: pigs can fly, a cold week in Hell, Mr Trump is a genius!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Justus Hayes

Magawa the hero rat retires from job detecting landmines

(BBC)

Magawa the hero rat retires from job detecting landmines
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He is more jewel than rodent after test in Cambodia, Mr Garg

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: APOPO

Fury as female MP is ordered to leave Tanzanian parliament because her trousers are 'too tight'

(Daily Mail)

The female Tanzanian parliamentary Minister Condester Sichwale
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Men fantasize, ascertain in the rain her camel toe is rampantly lewd

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Ransomware attack hits world’s largest meat processor

(YouTube)

Ransomware attack hits world’s largest meat processor
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script hackers, worst amoral asses, want more gold treat

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Image: Christiaan Colen

Belarus activist 'stabs his neck' in court

(BBC)
Embed from Getty Images

Belarus activist stabs his neck in court
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But it’s crank tactics! Use biro, slash vein!

Anagram: Mark McNamara

Teen shoves large bear off wall

(Yahoo! News)

Teen shoves large bear off wall
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No fear, gal! Be self. What resolve!

Anagram: Russ Atkinson

(Car and Driver)

Rolls-Royce will now build you a wild custom car
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No way! Some world critics will buy a dull colour

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Steven Bosworth

Mouse plague deals fresh blow to Australian farmers

(BBC)

Mouse plague deals fresh blow to Australian farmers
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Alarms! As rodents maul, Aus growers bait… feel hopeful!

Anagram: Mark McNamara
Image: A C

Boris Johnson Married in Stealth Ceremony, Reports Say

(The New York Times)

Boris Johnson Married in Stealth Ceremony, UK Reports Say ~ to Carrie Symonds. Oh, spurn libertine - the man’s a sorry joke!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Number 10

Remains of 215 children found at defunct Kamloops Indian Residential School in British Columbia, Canada

(Newshub)

Remains are found at the defunct Kamloops Indian Residential School in British Columbia, Canada
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Ah, alas, atrocities shock me too, if abused Indian infants and children are buried in communal plot

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Province of British Columbia

Canadian MP caught on camera urinating, weeks after naked incident

(The Guardian)
Embed from Getty Images

“Last night, while attending House of Commons proceedings virtually, in a non-public setting, I urinated without realizing I was on camera,” said William Amos
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Wow (giggling)! Oh, we must not moralize twice - give idiot man a brain scan as untruthful politician has a mental illness, addiction, dementia or neurosyphilis

Anagram: Julian Lofts

Ninth victim died in Silicon Valley mass shooting

(The Hill)

Ninth victim died in Silicon Valley mass shooting
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Dim old man is Anglo (lives in vicinity), shot ethnics

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Image: