Putin hosts vile pro-war rally in Moscow as rescuers fight to save kids trapped in bombed theatre

(The Sun)

Putin hosts vile pro-war rally in Moscow as rescuers fight to save kids trapped in bombed theatre
=
Wretched dictator shows fangs, presumptively has inoperable brain tumor. PS: takes ‘roids to live

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Duncan C

Young brothers found in Amazon after nearly four weeks

(BBC)

Young brothers found in Amazon after nearly four weeks
=
Yo, drank water only - uh, no burger in maze of unsafe forest

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: MudflapDC

Was Tiny Atacama Mummy an Alien? No.

(The New York Times)

Was Tiny Atacama Mummy an Alien? No.
=
Atacaman mum is not in any way male

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Ryan Greenberg

'World's heaviest potato' turns out not to be a potato at all

(UPI)

World's heaviest potato turns out not to be a potato at all
=
Oops! Whatnot tuber evaluation roasted. Plot, total toast!

Anagram: Mark McNamara

Huge quake hits north Japan

(ABC News)

Huge quake hits north Japan
=
h-hoping just an earthquake

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Joi Ito

US Senate unanimously condemns Putin as war criminal

(Yahoo!)

A resolution condemning Russian President Vladimir Putin
=
Mentioning odd nut Putin: Russia's leader is proven criminal

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Image: Duncan C

Mississippi governor signs into law prohibition on schools teaching critical race theory

(CNN)

Mississippi governor signs into law prohibition on schools teaching critical race theory
=
Gosh, I can't have poor rich imps in crisis, learning it is wrong to hate ebony colors. Is politics!

Anagram: Rosie Perera
Image: MTEA

Uber to roll out fuel surcharge

(New York Post)

Uber to roll out fuel surcharge
=
Troublous hauler co. regretful

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Stock Catalog

West Point cadets overdose on fentanyl during spring break, police say

(CNN)

West Point cadets overdose in Florida
=
dopes to toast, service life down drain

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: West Point

GOP Rep. Madison Cawthorn calls Zelensky a THUG and says the Ukrainian government is 'corrupt, incredibly evil' and 'pushing woke ideologies' in speech to supporters

(Daily Mail)

GOP Rep. Madison Cawthorn calls Zelenskiy a thug
=
Mr Wonk’s challenged - he’s a crazy Putin apologist

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: DonkeyHotey

Heidi Klum Praises Daughter Leni, 17, as They Appear on Harper's Bazaar Germany

(Yahoo!)

Heidi Klum's Daughter Leni
=
Huh, unedited girl's like ma!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Image: Bazaar

Al Pacino reflects on 'The Godfather' fame 50 years later: 'Hard for me to cope with'

(Yahoo! News)

Al Pacino on “The Godfather,” fifty years later
=
Ay, had long lofty career of thespian after it

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Terence Faircloth

Russia bombs Ukrainian children's hospital in shocking attack: 'Losing humanity'

(Yahoo!)

Russia bombs Ukrainian children's hospital
=
Putin is barbarous - he’s a shrill sick man, I nod

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: manhhai

Ancient Vampire Squid Species Identified and Named After US President

(MSN)

Ancient vampire squid species identified and named after US President
=
As aquatic find isn't named 'Trump', peers pen, "A definite disservice, indeed!"

Anagram: Dharam
Image: American Museum of Natural History

An ancient demon spirit may be loose in Japan

(Yahoo! News)

An ancient demon spirit may be loose in Japan
=
Ninja peaceably imprisoned in a stone: "Am not!"

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Ad Blankestijn

Ukraine War: Russia to sanction New Zealand and Australia after 'unfriendly' response to invasion

(The New Zealand Herald)

Ukraine War: Russia to sanction New Zealand and Australia after 'unfriendly' response to the invasion
=
Fuck you Putin! A territorializer, insane villain and an ass (no sense)- end war now, arrest and sue that oaf!

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Rasande Tyskar

Human Heads in Box Labeled ‘Exempt Human Specimen’ Stolen from Truck, Police Say

(MSN)

Human heads in box labeled ‘Exempt Human Specimen’ stolen from truck, the police say
=
The criminal checks and exposes the extent of dilemma by phone, "Unusual problem, Ma!"

Anagram: Dharam
Image: Agatha

Trainer dies from caffeine overdose

(Yahoo! News)

Trainer dies from caffeine overdose
=
Man to die error-driven (coffee is safe!)

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Joanna Penn

Ukraine crisis: The free world fights back against Putin

(BBC)

Ukraine crisis: The free world fights back against Putin
=
Note: sinister bastard was huge fucking liar, prick, thief

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: H. Michael Karshis

Russia's Ukraine invasion: 'Akin to declaring war' - Putin hits out at Western sanctions; ceasefire fails as shelling continues

(The New Zealand Herald)

'They are akin to declaring war' - Putin hits out at Western sanctions
=
Tactics now help Ukraine to win against rotten hated Russia entry

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Alisdare Hickson