Pelé dies aged 82: tributes paid to a football great

(The Guardian)

“Pelé kicked magnificently with both feet, headed with his eyes open, scored goals like no one else, made passes that surprised even his teammates, killed the ball on his chest as if he were cradling it like a baby in his arms”
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Sentimentalists say he’s been ranked the king of football, i.e. he is the most acclaimed magnificent player, is best ball kicker in the world, he won three World Cups. Aye the messiah has died I sigh, keep his deeds alive please

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office, UK

The Final Campaign Inside Donald Trump’s sad, lonely, thirsty, broken, basically pretend run for reelection. (Which isn’t to say he can’t win.)

(New York Magazine)

Do you remember how Sunset Boulevard ends? Norma Desmond shoots and kills the writer, a fraudster who has fallen under the spell of her charisma, just as he summons the courage to walk away. Her sycophantic butler flips. There are no enablers left to protect her. A final fantasy, a fake movie set, is staged in the mansion’s entryway. The lights go on, and she is lured before the cameras, where the police are waiting to haul her away
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Trump dynasty endgame: Shallow stylemeister Ivanka & husband separate themselves from her sentenced treasonous father Donald. He is a wealth poseur & real estate crook. He plays last golf round at Mar-a-Lago. He seethes before police haul his manacled ass away. Robot muse Melania, she returns to NY without Barron to iron her wrinkles. Thwarted featherweight hominids Don Jr. & Eric who chug beer. Ineffectual Tiffany - who’s she?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Fabrice Florin

Unclaimed luggage piles up at airports following Southwest cancellations

(National Public Radio)

Unclaimed luggage piles up at airports following Southwest cancellations
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Awful climate clouts US; airline grapples with no plans; locations get gouged

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Chor Ip

Suspect in Paul Pelosi attack pleads not guilty to state charges

(ABC News)

Suspect in Paul Pelosi attack pleads not guilty to state charges
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DePape, at Nancy's gate to cut political target, hits spouse's skull

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Ben Schumin

Trump insider says ‘some accurate stuff’ in profile of moribund 2024 campaign

(The Guardian)

“A washed-up star locked away in a mansion from the 1920s, afraid of the world outside, afraid it will remind him that time has passed” - The Final Campaign
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What a sad thwarted fanatical gimp Donald Trump is - he’s like Norma Desmond - ah, how pitiful it is as a defeated falsifier with no charisma anymore

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Fabrice Florin

Representative-elect George Santos admits to lying about his past

(CBS News)

Representative-elect George Santos admits to lying about his past
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As detectives say to paragon Mr T, attesting to heel spurs’ one big lie

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Wikimedia

Jan. Sixers Are Using Sovereign Citizen Defenses to Try and Get Out of Prison

(The Daily Beast)

Jan. Sixers Are Using Sovereign Citizen Defenses to Try and Get Out of Prison
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Judges are urged to nix revisionists' sentencing for zaniest type of reason!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Jeff Gates

Trump called himself 'clairvoyant' and claimed that the US is 'dying from within' in a series of Christmas messages

(Yahoo!)

Trump called himself 'clairvoyant'
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Then, very formal call: Stupid claim!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Image: Alan

Monster storm across US claims at least thirty-four lives

(AP News)

Monster storm across US claims at least thirty-four lives
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climate lashes, controls vast, furious storm start, misery

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Drew Brayshaw

Twitter restores suicide prevention feature after Reuters report

(Reuters)

Twitter restores suicide prevention feature after Reuters report
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CEO retorts to reiterate future returns as if it were never stripped.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Moke

No, Zelensky Isn’t Fighting a ‘War on Christianity’

(The Daily Beast)

No, Zelensky Isn't Fighting a "War on Christianity"
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Crazy to think a hefty-ass religion isn't winning!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Steve Rhodes

Harry & Meghan Netflix series: Broadcaster Piers Morgan claims he's 'traumatised' after featuring in docuseries

(Newshub)

"There's not much more to say about this ruthless social-climbing piece of work who played the royal family like a greedy fame-hungry viola," Piers Morgan wrote
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Whereby siege escapologist Harry Windsor & ghastly furious wife Meghan Markle erupt, make overt choleric comments about royalty, family, and the hoi polloi

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Ruperto Miller

Elon Musk orders removal of Twitter suicide prevention feature, sources say

(Reuters)

Exclusive: Elon Musk orders removal of Twitter suicide prevention feature, sources say
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No useful, wise advice for users likely serves to drive more traumatic content exposure.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: DonkeyHotey

Sam Bankman-Fried is expected to appear in a New York court Thursday

(CNN)

Sam Bankman-Fried is expected to appear in a New York court Thursday
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FTX CEO is detained in Bahamas; crypto worker may return and speak up.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Bybit

Cassidy Hutchinson Says Trump World Lawyer Told Her To Mislead Jan 6 Panel

(Huffington Post)

Cassidy Hutchinson Says Trump World Lawyer Told Her To Mislead Jan 6 Panel
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Passantino tells lady a wild resort: why she can and should commit perjury.
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Man instructed: hardly show emphasis, downplay role, just say "I don't recall."

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Richard Jones

YouTuber Adin Ross says Kanye West told him "You Jews aren't going to tell me what I can and can't say," prompting him to cancel a planned interview with the rapper

(Yahoo!)

"You Jews aren't going to tell me what I can and can't say"
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Ye declaims against any Jew. Not a talent, wrong touch!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Image: Super 45 | Música Indepediente

In Testimony, Hannity and Other Fox Employees Said They Doubted Trump’s Fraud Claims

(The New York Times)

In Testimony, Hannity and Other Fox Employees Said They Doubted Trump's Fraud Claims
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Sean's deposition had him actually defy bad, untrue pretext for Dominion System myth.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: DonkeyHotey

Despite Mandate, IRS Delayed Auditing Trump in Office, House Panel Finds

(The New York Times)

Despite Mandate, IRS Delayed Auditing Trump in Office, House Panel Finds
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Democrats' idea: apply funding to streamline unfinished paid fee duties

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Mike Licht

8 Teenage Girls Charged with 'Swarming' Murder

(People)

8 Teenage Girls Charged with 'Swarming' Murder
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8 sweet gals grew hard during crime nightmare

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Tony Webster

Ambulance strike causing deep worry, say NHS bosses

(BBC)

Ambulance strike causing deep worry, say NHS bosses
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Christmas and New Year sicknesses purely bugaboos

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Martin Addison