A Heavily Armed Man Caused Panic at a Supermarket. But Did He Break the Law?

(The New York Times)

A Heavily Armed Man Caused Panic at a Supermarket. But Did He Break the Law?
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A peculiar buyer with a musket never made a threat, and lacked a bad mishap

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Brian Hart

Bolsonaro lands in Florida, avoiding handover of power to leftist Lula

(NBC News)

Bolsonaro lands in Florida, avoiding handover of power to leftist Lula
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“I lost!” Vulgar poor loser’s wild vitriol, a bad felon, nonfan, a defiant hood

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: JAIR MESSIAS BOLSONARO

Bryan Kohberger, suspect in the University of Idaho homicides

(Idaho Statesman)

Bryan Kohberger, suspect in the University of Idaho homicides
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Chief said every crime bit (her DNA) points to bookish guy. He runs.

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Allen

The language that doesn't use 'no'

(BBC)

Uh-oh, a latent 'guess not' negated ~ the language that doesn't use 'no'?

Anagram: Robert Jordan
Image: Quinn Dombrowski

Editor's note: Actually, the language does have "no". See section titled "Negation" (p. 71) in this paper.

Elon Musk becomes first person ever to lose $200 billion

(New York Post)

Elon Musk becomes first person ever to lose $200 billion
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Remember: loose-lip folks not too clever in business!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: DonkeyHotey

Barbara Walters, pioneering US TV news anchor, dies at 93

(The Guardian)

Barbara Walters, pioneering US TV news anchor, dies at 93
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A superlative broadcaster, a winner, now a brightness

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Susan Sermoneta

Misogynist Influencer Andrew Tate’s Rough Week Capped by Romanian Rape Arrest

(The Daily Beast)

Misogynist Influencer Andrew Tate's Rough Week Capped by Romanian Rape Arrest
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Weird, insane, creepy man lured away to a prison after Greta Thunberg mocks penis

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Wikimedia

Vivienne Westwood Dies: Fashion Designer Dubbed “Godmother Of Punk” Was 81

(Deadline New York)

Dame Vivienne Westwood, a fashion designer and godmother of punk icon, has died
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“I’m good - vivid orange hair, woad, fishnets, naked pudenda - who often incensed some”

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Garry Knight

Romanian pizza box in response video to Greta Thunberg may have given away Andrew Tate’s location

(The Independent)

Romanian pizza box in response video to Greta Thunberg may have given away Andrew Tate's location
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Maybe not true. Cops are experts in analyzing data. However, wasn't it amazing, no-good, naive behavior?

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Wikimedia

Pelé dies aged 82: tributes paid to a football great

(The Guardian)

“Pelé kicked magnificently with both feet, headed with his eyes open, scored goals like no one else, made passes that surprised even his teammates, killed the ball on his chest as if he were cradling it like a baby in his arms”
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Sentimentalists say he’s been ranked the king of football, i.e. he is the most acclaimed magnificent player, is best ball kicker in the world, he won three World Cups. Aye the messiah has died I sigh, keep his deeds alive please

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office, UK

The Final Campaign Inside Donald Trump’s sad, lonely, thirsty, broken, basically pretend run for reelection. (Which isn’t to say he can’t win.)

(New York Magazine)

Do you remember how Sunset Boulevard ends? Norma Desmond shoots and kills the writer, a fraudster who has fallen under the spell of her charisma, just as he summons the courage to walk away. Her sycophantic butler flips. There are no enablers left to protect her. A final fantasy, a fake movie set, is staged in the mansion’s entryway. The lights go on, and she is lured before the cameras, where the police are waiting to haul her away
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Trump dynasty endgame: Shallow stylemeister Ivanka & husband separate themselves from her sentenced treasonous father Donald. He is a wealth poseur & real estate crook. He plays last golf round at Mar-a-Lago. He seethes before police haul his manacled ass away. Robot muse Melania, she returns to NY without Barron to iron her wrinkles. Thwarted featherweight hominids Don Jr. & Eric who chug beer. Ineffectual Tiffany - who’s she?

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Fabrice Florin

Unclaimed luggage piles up at airports following Southwest cancellations

(National Public Radio)

Unclaimed luggage piles up at airports following Southwest cancellations
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Awful climate clouts US; airline grapples with no plans; locations get gouged

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Chor Ip

Suspect in Paul Pelosi attack pleads not guilty to state charges

(ABC News)

Suspect in Paul Pelosi attack pleads not guilty to state charges
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DePape, at Nancy's gate to cut political target, hits spouse's skull

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Ben Schumin

Trump insider says ‘some accurate stuff’ in profile of moribund 2024 campaign

(The Guardian)

“A washed-up star locked away in a mansion from the 1920s, afraid of the world outside, afraid it will remind him that time has passed” - The Final Campaign
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What a sad thwarted fanatical gimp Donald Trump is - he’s like Norma Desmond - ah, how pitiful it is as a defeated falsifier with no charisma anymore

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Fabrice Florin

Representative-elect George Santos admits to lying about his past

(CBS News)

Representative-elect George Santos admits to lying about his past
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As detectives say to paragon Mr T, attesting to heel spurs’ one big lie

Anagram: Julian Lofts
Image: Wikimedia

Jan. Sixers Are Using Sovereign Citizen Defenses to Try and Get Out of Prison

(The Daily Beast)

Jan. Sixers Are Using Sovereign Citizen Defenses to Try and Get Out of Prison
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Judges are urged to nix revisionists' sentencing for zaniest type of reason!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Jeff Gates

Trump called himself 'clairvoyant' and claimed that the US is 'dying from within' in a series of Christmas messages

(Yahoo!)

Trump called himself 'clairvoyant'
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Then, very formal call: Stupid claim!

Anagram: Aronas Pinchas
Image: Alan

Monster storm across US claims at least thirty-four lives

(AP News)

Monster storm across US claims at least thirty-four lives
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climate lashes, controls vast, furious storm start, misery

Anagram: Russ Atkinson
Image: Drew Brayshaw

Twitter restores suicide prevention feature after Reuters report

(Reuters)

Twitter restores suicide prevention feature after Reuters report
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CEO retorts to reiterate future returns as if it were never stripped.

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Moke

No, Zelensky Isn’t Fighting a ‘War on Christianity’

(The Daily Beast)

No, Zelensky Isn't Fighting a "War on Christianity"
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Crazy to think a hefty-ass religion isn't winning!

Anagram: Josiah Winslow
Image: Steve Rhodes