The List of Countries, Kingdoms, Empires and Principalities

Illustration: Kai Schreiber

The List of Countries, Kingdoms, Empires and Principalities 1. Algeria 2. Angola 3. Anguilla 4. Australia 5. Bahamas 6. Bali 7. Bangladesh 8. Bermuda 9. Bolivia 10.Bosnia 11.Botswana 12.Brazil 13.Brunei Darussalam 14.Burma 15.Burundi 16.Cameroon,Bulgaria, Kenya, Libya, Luxembourg, Netherlands (Holland), Singapore 17.Canada 18.China, Hong Kong 19.Colombia, Chile 20.Costa Rica 21.Croatia 22.Denmark, England 23.Democratic Republic of the Congo 24.France, Portugal 25.French Polynesia 26.Gabon 27.Georgia 28.Germany, Mexico 29.Gibraltar 30.Greece, Seychelles 31.Greenland 32.Guatemala 33.Honduras, Kosovo 34.Iran 35.Jordan, Qatar 36.Kazakhstan, Rwanda 37.Kuwait, Western Sahara 38.Latvia 39.Lebanon 40.Maldives 41.Mexico 42.Nepal 43.New Zealand 44.North Korea 45.Palestinian territories 46.PNG 47.Puerto Rico, Saint Lucia 48.Philippines 49.Poland 50.Russian Federation 51.South Africa 52.South Korea 53.Spain 54.Sweden, Norway 55.Taiwan 56.Tibet 57.Trinidad & Tobago 58.United Kingdom 59.United States of America 60.Zimbabwe

=

Announcing A Few National Mascots, Insignias, Fauna (Animals, Birds et cetera) in addition to Symbols 1. Fox 2.Turaco 3. Zenaida dove 4. Kangaroo, koala 5. Marlin (Makaira nigricans) 6. Starling (Indonesian mynah) 7. Tiger, Oriental magpie robin 8. Humpback whale 9. Llama 10.Tornjak 11.Grevy's zebra 12.Macaw 13.Tiger 14.Daung 15.Hyena 16.Lion 17.North American beaver 18.Giant panda 19.Andean condor 20.Thrush 21.Iris, marten (polecat) 22.Mute swan 23.Okapi 24.Rooster 25.Tiare 26.Black panther 27.Caucasian shepherd dog 28.Eagle 29.Ape 30.Dolphin 31.Polar bear (Ursus maritimus) 32.Quetzal 33.Deer 34.Asiatic lion 35.Oryx 36.Leopard (not Indian) 37.Arabian Camel 38.White wagtail 39.Phoenix 40.Pigeon (kotharu) 41.Golden eagle 42.Cow (edible fauna) 43.Kiwi 44.Chollima 45.Sunbird 46.Dugong, birds of paradisev 47.Amazon 48.Carabao 49.Bison 50.Brown Bear (Ursus arctos) 51.Springbok 52.Tiger 53.Bull 54.Elk 55.Bear 56.Yeti 57.Rufous-vented chachalaca, scarlet ibis 58.Bulldog 59.North American bald eagle 60.Sable antelope (ungulate) Satisfied?

(by Julian Lofts)

Apple says it'll never make a cheap iPhone

(TechRadar)

Photo: Martin Hajek

Apple says it'll never make a cheap iPhone = Snip! Heavy pocket meanie appals all here!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Chelsea Handler mocks Putin with topless photo; Instagram says no

(USA Today)


Chelsea Handler mocks Putin with topless photo; Instagram says no = Lithe woman's nipplegate snapshot on horse shocks. Radical, smutty!

(by Jason Lofts)

Sarah Palin Says She's Hoping To Run For Office Again

(Huffington Post)


Sarah Palin Says She's Hoping To Run For Office Again = Pres of Russia: "Oh, ho! A passing fancy, another failing!"

(by Dharam)

Sarah Palin Says She's Hoping To Run For Office Again = A laugh, no? Horrifying fat ass scenario if so happens!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Edmonton Airport Therapy Dogs Aim To Calm Travellers

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Global Jet

Therapy Dogs in Edmonton Airport = Departing to indoor pets' harmony

(by Rosie Perera)

Unmanned Antares rocket explodes on launch

(USA Today)

Photo: NASA Goddard Space Flight Center

Unmanned Antares rocket explodes on launch = An alarm! Oh! No! End result's an unexpected conk!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Baby wipes recalled due to bacterial contamination

(CNN)

Photo: Smokey Combs

Nutek Disposables baby wipes recalled = Dubbed news says, "Bacteria kills people!"

(by Rosie Perera)

What HAS Renee Zellweger done to her face?

Daily Mail

WALK AWAY RENEE sung by The Four Tops And when I see the sign that points one way The lot we used to pass by every day Just walk away, Renée You won't see me follow you back home The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same You're not to blame From deep inside the tears I'm forced to cry From deep inside the pain That I chose to hide Just walk away, Renée You won't see me follow you back home Now as the rain burns down upon my weary eyes For me it cries Just walk away, Renée You won't see me follow you back home Now as the rain burns down upon my weary eyes For me it cries Your name and mine inside A heart on a wall Still finds a way to haunt me Though they're so small Just walk away, Renée You won't see me follow you back home The empty sidewalks on my block are not the same You're not to blame

=

LOOK AT YOU NOW, RENEE by www.eeriewoman.com We liked your milky skin, the feline eyes, The baby-cheeks as plump as apple-pie. Why did you change Renée? Your many fans didn't want you to, That horsey face, the now blank smile are not the same, It's you we blame. Why can't you see what you Perceived as flaws Were facets of your face That we all adored? Look at you now, Renée, The same as so many other babes, You think we like you with your brow so smooth 'n' new, Well it's not true. Look at you now, Renée, A wilful woman who lost her way The mystery's gone and now we think you seem just bland, Just perma-tanned. You won't play Bridget Jones, No, the moment's passed, You're just like someone from a 'Mamma Mia' cast Look at the new Renée A symbol of mediocrity, Remember when your face had personality? It's sad to see.

(by Tony Crafter)

British parrot named Nigel vanishes four years ago - only to return speaking Spanish

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Brenna Daugherty

British parrot named Nigel vanishes four years ago - only to return speaking Spanish = Interesting enigma! Proof: upon drinking sherry, he says "Hasta la vista!", "Burro", "Espanol"

(by Julian Lofts)

Boy Who Shot Albino Deer With Crossbow Receives Death Threats

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Adrian Korte

Boy who killed albino deer with crossbow receives death threats = To kid who slew white hart, belabored by others: "Crass violence, die!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Exclusive: Evict the nuisance next door!

(The Daily Express)

Photo: noricum

Exclusive: Evict the nuisance next door! = Is next unethical ruse conceived to vex?

(by Robert Jordan)

Dog's destructive underwear fetish

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: Stuff.co.nz

Dog's destructive underwear fetish = Vet: Frustrated, so I chewed grundies*

*Grundies is Australian/NZ slang for underwear

(by Jason Lofts)

Dog's destructive underwear fetish = Fetching drawers! Rue to us divested

(by Robert Jordan)

'An alien has grown in my bottle of vinegar!' Mum makes horror discovery of creature

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Ryan

'An alien has grown in my bottle of vinegar!' Mum makes horror discovery of creature = None worry ok, over a genus of live bacteria, in truth, forming a harmless mycoderma

(by Robert Jordan)

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II joins social media age with 1st tweet

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II joins social media age with 1st tweet (CNN)

Photo: Science Museum London

Queen Elizabeth II posts her first tweet = Hope Twitter equalizes these fine Brits

(by Rosie Perera)

Cockerel given 'ASBO' and ordered to stop crowing

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Thomas Hawk

Cockerel given 'ASBO' and ordered to stop crowing = Cock a doodle do bring carping even rooster stew

(by Robert Jordan)

Feds chase criminal case against artist who marred rocks in national parks

(Denver Post)

Photo: ski.mohawk

The National Parks vandal Casey Nocket ("Creepy-Tings") = Cocky plan: ravage ten key landscapes, eh? No, it isn't art!

(by Rosie Perera)

Oscar Pistorius appears tense, confused after first night in jail, officials say

(New York Daily News)

Photo: Global Panorama

Prosecutors said Pistorius was a gun-loving, short-fused, jealous brute who chased Steenkamp on his stumps to the bathroom and blasted four times through the door when she wouldn't come out = Court sends once boastful, now subdued athlete to Kgosi Mampuru jail for outburst. Mean thugs who disapproved shout out, howl, threaten to rape him. He's now most scared. Oh, gosh, he's in distress!

(by Jason Lofts)

Fashion Designer Oscar de la Renta Dies at 82

(The Wall Street Journal)

Photo: Princess Mousey Cards

Oscar Aristides Renta Fiallo = A sartorial icon falters, dies

(by Jason Lofts)

John Thornton Arrested For Alleged Aggressive Mopping

(Huffington Post)

Photo: vagawi

Man Arrested For "Aggressive Mopping" = Performed "assist" verging on rampage

(by Rosie Perera)

Pistorius jailed for five years

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Lwp Kommunikáció

Pistorius jailed for five years = I'd justify or raise life vs. a rope

(by Robert Jordan)

Nigeria's Ebola free - how did it do it?

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: CDC Global

Nigeria's Ebola free = Gee, Liberia no safer

(by Julian Lofts)

The tragic case of Nigeria's 'bird' woman

(BBC)

Photo: YouTube

The tragic case of Nigeria's 'bird' woman = Goose reincarnated as a grim witch? Fib!

(by Julian Lofts)

Is reheated pasta less fattening?

(BBC)

Photo: Wendell

Is reheated pasta less fattening? = Fitness: a spaghetti salad entree

(by Robert Jordan)

Death of white rhino in Kenya leaves only six animals alive in the world

(The Guardian)

Photo: Wikimedia

The white rhinoceros = Cheerio whitest horn

Ceratotherium simum cottoni - Latin taxonomy for ~ a rhinoceros mutation or, um, extinct family motto?

(by Julian Lofts)

Vandals deflate giant 'sex toy' sculpture in Paris

(The Daily Telegraph)


By the morning, the blow up art work was a shapeless green mess. Paul McCarthy said he did not want it to be repaired or re-erected = Pop artist hoped he can remonstrate with redneck crowd who swear eyesore resembles a giant anal butt plug yet disbarred him

(by Julian Lofts)

Shrien Dewani fit to stand trial over honeymoon murder of wife Anni

(The Guardian)

Photo: Global Panorama

The South African honeymoon killer Shrien Dewani = Wed Anni, hires man to kill her. Ooh, a fishy encounter!

(by Julian Lofts)

Britain redeploys drones to fight Isis

(Financial Times)

Photo: US DOD

Britain redeploys drones to fight Isis = Its toil brings hope. Destroy a fiend, sir!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Kurds struggle to defend besieged Syrian town from ISIS

(Fox News)

Photo: Sozialfotografie

Kurds struggle to defend besieged Syrian town from ISIS = Kobani resists doggedly, tired regiment suffers wounds

(by Jason Lofts)

Boris Johnson says voters don't care about his extra-marital affairs

(The Independent)

Photo: The CBI

Boris Johnson says voters don't care about his extra-marital affairs = As I fear, London Mayor is a brash extrovert, ruts, has job satisfaction!

(by Jason Lofts)

Malala's Nobel Peace Prize message to the Middle East

(Al Arabiya)

Photo: Bruno Sanchez-Andrade

Malala's Nobel Peace Prize message to the Middle East ~ anagrammatized: teach demoiselles, beat people less!

(by Jason Lofts)

Talent Agency Drops Stephen Collins, Wife Calls Him A Sociopath & Pedophile

(Starpulse)

Photo: Gage Skidmore

Talent agency drops US actor Stephen Collins, wife calls him a sociopath & a pedophile = What a confession: Suspect (a loathsome chap) preyed on this pliant girl. Police called.

(by Jason Lofts)

Malala calls for child rights after joint Nobel Peace Prize

(BBC)

Art: Albert Tarragó

And speaking at the news conference in Birmingham, UK, where she now lives, she revealed she found out the news after being called out of her chemistry class at her school. Despite her intense excitement, she said she still attended her remaining afternoon lessons in physics and English. = Who? Uh, she's this effervescent female Pakistani student Malala. She becomes the youngest Nobel Peace laureate in history. She's seventeen. She'll share the winnings with the Indian campaigner for work for children's rights. Oslo conceded she excels in deed, in tenderness and inner might.

(by Julian Lofts)

Red Bull doesn't give you wings - lawsuit

(The New Zealand Herald)

Photo: Mikey G

Red Bull doesn't give you wings - lawsuit = Even I swallow drugs, guys, but I don't lie!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

The Austrian energy drink Red Bull^™ doesn't really give you wings - company settles big lawsuits = Cult brew? "Real men" ingest it. What sly skulduggery! Beverage is only soda - no nutrients. Dismal pity!

(by Julian Lofts)

Thirteen-year-old says she'll be the first human on Mars

(CNet)


Thirteen-year-old says she'll be the first human on Mars Ah! A starry mission! Her hell-bent dream to fly enthuses!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Alyssa Carson = Lass cry: 'O NASA!'

(by Aronas Pinchas)

'Alien life found above Derbyshire proves we're descended from extraterrestrials' say scientists

(The Independent)

Photo: Roberto Rizzato

'Alien life found above Derbyshire proves we're descended from extraterrestrials' say scientists = I'll swear inferiors erred. Discovery expresses the fact: Eden's bible story of Adam and Eve isn't true!

(by Maurice Goddard)

What's life like in a South African prison?

(CNN)

Cartoon: Roy Blumenthal

What's life like in a South African prison? = I think Pistorius will face fear. Hosanna!

(by Julian Lofts)

Ebola patient Thomas Eric Duncan dies at Dallas hospital

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Jornal Brasil em Folhas

Thomas Eric Duncan = Can't cure him. Sad, no?

Thomas Eric Duncan = Death occurs in man

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Oh, deer! Outrage as Zurich zoo puts animals on menu

(RT)

Photo: placeboe

Oh, deer! Outrage as a zoo puts its animals on menu = Eat up denizens: goat, mouse, 'roo, also tahr! Um, a sin?

(by Jason Lofts)

Twin Peaks season 3: David Lynch drama gets 2016 release date after 25 year break

(The Independent)

Photo: Wikimedia

Twin Peaks Series Three = These writers seek pain

(by Julian Lofts)