Ex-UBS banker Weil agrees to extradition to US

(Swissinfo)

Photo: twicepix

Ex-UBS banker Weil agrees to extradition to US = IRS being outed - likes to exert war on tax abuse

(by Jason Lofts)

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight

(24/7 Wall St.)

Photo: Malingering

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight = Many watch calories stewing, eh?

(by Robert Jordan)

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight = Why? Manic eaters then swig Cola!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight = Now I eat, chewing starchy meals

(by Jason Lofts)

Why Americans Can't Lose Weight = Warnings while they eat Mac's & Co?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Do elephants grieve like people do?

(BBC)

Photo: rageforst

Do elephants grieve like people do? = O! Grave deep pine look spelled it, eh?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Berlusconi Accused of Bribing 'Bunga Bunga' Witnesses

(Time)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Berlusconi Accused of Bribing 'Bunga Bunga' Witnesses = Buccaneer SB fornicated, was using bungs, i.e. lubing? SOB!

(by Jason Lofts)

The word bung is a slang for a bribe, as is lubing.

Barack Obama tells Hollywood it has 'responsibility' on gun violence

(The Daily Telegraph)

Chart: Cory M. Grenier

Barack Obama tells Hollywood it has to demonstrate more 'responsibility' on gun violence = No balding Bruce Willis or no tormented macho Sylvester Stallone. Boohoo. A mistake. A pity!

(by Julian Lofts)

Judge rejects OJ Simpson's bid for retrial

(BBC)

Photo: Project M·A·R·C

Judge has rejected OJ Simpson's bid for retrial = Mr OJS in jail, depressed. Hard to beg for justice!

(by Jason Lofts)

Obama defends Iran policy amid Israel anger

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: marsmet546

Obama defends Iran policy amid Israel anger = An American Pres. said: 'Brief, mainly good deal!'

(by Aronas Pichas)

Saatchi accused Nigella Lawson of drug-taking, court hears

(BBC)

Photo: Saima

Saatchi accused Nigella Lawson of drug-taking, court hears = Chef took cocaine (a Class A drug) during a wealth sting? A slur!

(by Jason Lofts)

Mother and dead son's de facto in bitter legal battle over ashes

(Western Australia News)

Photo: kundalini

Mother and dead son's de facto in bitter legal battle over ashes = The 'dead bit' forgotten as clan bad lot seethe over lad's remains

(by Mark McNamara)

Syria conflict: Children 'targeted by snipers'

(BBC)

Photo: UNHCR

Syria conflict: Children 'targeted by snipers' = Protesters decry grisly infanticide (blanch)

(by Julian Lofts)

Jermaine Lloyd Arrested Naked - Except For The Turban And High Heels

(Huffington Post)

Photo: cobalt123

Jermaine Lloyd Arrested Naked - Except For The Turban And High Heels = Aargh, indecent exposure! Lonely mad hatter jerk flash'd behind tree

(by Jason Lofts)

Crack-smoking Toronto mayor more popular than Obama

(RT)

Photo: designwallah

Crack-smoking Toronto mayor more popular than Obama = Oh look, rampant bar guy partook as commoner. Romantic!

(by Dharam)

World powers, Iran clinch 'historic' nuclear deal

(Yahoo! News)

IllustrationL The Pix-Jockey

World powers, Iran clinch 'historic' nuclear deal = Cross Tehran will hold no war? Nice? Ridicule! Crap!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Plea deal reached in case of ricin-laced letters sent to Obama

(Washington Post)

Photo: Martin LaBar

Plea deal reached in case of ricin-laced letters sent to President Obama = Last elected leader sent fierce castor bean poison per candid hate mail

(by Jason Lofts)

Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger to become a great-grandfather

(The Salt Lake Tribune)

Photo: oddsock

Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger to become a great-grandfather = Fame or no, reckon old megastar Jagger's tight, celebrating!

(by Maurice Goddard)

French weathergirl stuns viewers with nude report

(The Daily Telegraph)

French weathergirl stuns viewers with nude report = The interviewer/porn star - rightful crudeness. Whew!

(by Julian Lofts)

Michael Jackson "accidentally killed himself" claims pop star's former doctor Conrad Murray

(The Independent)

Photo: Roadsidepictures

Michael Jackson "accidentally killed himself" claims pop star's former doctor Conrad Murray = Half mad, sick, cyclical insomniac, Jacko, calmly prompted ruthless MD for sedation. Real error!

(by Julian Lofts)

Tsarnaev indicted for weapon of mass destruction

(USA Today)

Photo: Wikimedia

Tsarnaev indicted for a weapon of mass destruction - charges could bring the death penalty = Adolescent WMD offender sent to try in US court. Case proven? Hang bastard high? Capital idea!

(by Jason Lofts)

Obama awards Medal of Freedom to Clinton and Winfrey

(BBC)

Photo: NASA

Obama awards Medal of Freedom to Clinton and Winfrey = Two famed and formidable American wonders of any lot!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Monty Python reunite to pay off their mortgages

(Stuff.co.nz)

Photo: jonnyphoto

Monty Python reunite to pay off their mortgages = Sort of pithy-potty-humor-generating-money feat

(by Julian Lofts)

Kim Kardashian goes topless, straddles Kanye West in rapper's 'Bound 2' music video

(New York Daily News)


Kim Kardashian goes topless, straddles Kanye West in rapper's 'Bound Two' music video = A motorbike in pseudo desert. Curvy KK strips and hangs loose. NW's pa's dismal, wet idea?

(by Jason Lofts)

Churchill polar bear cam shares 'amazing' live footage

Churchill polar bear cam shares 'amazing' live footage (CBC)

Photo: ucumari

Churchill polar bear cam shares 'amazing' live footage = Clan gather. Graphic frolicsome behaviour amazes all!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Brussels widow 'slept with husband's corpse for a year'

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Stuck in Customs

Brussels widow 'slept with husband's corpse for a year' = Ha! Crass! What suppressed blowflies 'n odors? Bury it! Ew!

(by Julian Lofts)

Brussels widow 'slept with husband's corpse for a year' = Farce's world sure was: Happy bed bliss without snores!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Qatar's 'accidental vagina' stadium

(The New Zealand Herald)


Qatar's 'accidental vagina' stadium = Caveat: A grandstand as a licit quim

(by Julian Lofts)

At least seven dead as storms hit American midwest

( The Irish Times)

Photo: mr_balage

At least seven dead as storms hit American midwest = Mere mess as twisters claim devastation and death

(by Mark McNamara)