Russian airstrikes in Syria 'OK' with Trump

(CNN)

Photo: Felix Nine

Russian airstrikes in Syria 'OK' with Trump=This nut is a risk -- pray or risk wartime in US!

(by Dharam)

Monkey who took grinning selfie should own copyright: US lawsuit

(The Times of India)

Monkey who took grinning selfie should own copyright - US lawsuit = Guy seeking showdown to funny Simian picture rights look hollow

(by Mark McNamara)

We're doomed: EU chief fears union will COLLAPSE over migrant crisis

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Miguel Discart

We're doomed: EU chief fears union will COLLAPSE over migrant crisis = Mad crisis! Alien refugees overwhelm Europe now in critical floods!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Worth watching:

Female anti-poaching unit in South Africa gets UN award

(The Times of India)

Photo: flowcomm

Female anti-poaching unit in South Africa gets UN award = Women policing safari threat united at such fauna gain

(by Mark McNamara)

Bar Refaeli Marries Adi Ezra in Israel

(Yahoo!)

Bar Refaeli Marries Adi Ezra in Israel = A bizarre finale - Israelis are married

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Bill Clinton blames Republicans, media for extending wife Hillary's email controversy

(Fox News)

Photo: Penn State

Bill Clinton blames Republicans, media for extending wife Hillary's email controversy = Bill hears, resentful malice brews in GOP men's infernally dirty diabolical toxic venom!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Warning: Millions of super-quick Giant House Spiders on rampage across Britain

(The Daily Express)

Warning: Millions of super-quick Giant House Spiders on rampage across Britain = Prolific monsters require traps, as running wild amok causes agonising phobia!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Russia Unveils New Cockroach Spy Robot

(Yahoo!)

Russia Unveils New Cockroach Spy Robot = Shrunk robot - sly, scarce, vicious weapon

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Duchess of Cambridge is effortlessly elegant as she visits women's prison

(The Daily Express)

Duchess of Cambridge is effortlessly elegant as she visits women's prison = I guess former Catherine Middleton's a classy show-off? VIP's bliss gets seen!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Putin to meet Obama in New York on Monday

(CTV News)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Putin to meet Obama in New York on Monday=We, One top Yank, One mad nitty bum, In a room.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Yankees Hall of Fame catcher Yogi Berra dies at 90

(MSN)

Photo: Baseball Collection

Yogi Berra slides into new heavenly home = Lie above, NY legend, rest. I say we honor him.

(by Russ Atkinson)

Robert Lewandowski scores five goals in nine minutes

(Yahoo! Sports)

Photo: Follow__it

Robert Lewandowski = A bold striker! We won!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Volkswagen emissions scandal goes global

( The Irish Times)

Photo: Automobile Italia

The Volkswagen emissions disgrace = Switch ignores vile gases and smoke

(by Julian Lofts)

CEO drops drug price

(Fox News)

Turing CEO screws patients then caves = Worst viper changes set tune, acts nice

(by Russ Atkinson)

Now, a spoon that lets you take selfies while eating

(The Times of India)

Now, a spoon that lets you take selfies while eating = Geeky utensil allows snapshot of teeth... I await one!

(by Mark McNamara)

London and Liverpool revealed as England's mental health hotspots

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Lena Vasiljeva

London and Liverpool revealed as England's mental health hotspots = And at length, a hapless dread evolves on London's metropolitan hell!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Europe's migration crisis: how many people are on the move?

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Josh Zakary

Europe's migration crisis: how many people are on the move? = Hi! One hopeless wearisome aim counting every poor tramp! = Oh! Hopeless to count! Imagery is; more 'n' more appear in view!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Donald Trump fails to challenge claim that America should 'get rid' of Muslims

(The Daily Telegraph)

Art: Sarah Levy

Donald Trump fails to challenge claim that America should 'get rid' of Muslims = Ha! Putrid, loathsome, small-minded, frightful egomaniac, merits loud catcalls!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Me, My Body, and a Bikini

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Rodrigo Faustini

Me, My Body, and a Bikini = Baby, I am in dinky mode!

(by Robert Jordan)

Here Are The European Countries That Want To Refuse Refugees

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Freedom House

Yes, are refusing ~ Syrian refugees

(by Jason Lofts)

Donate to help refugees via UNHCR: The UN Refugee Agency.

Fury as Victoria Beckham parades 'show of skeletons' on the runway at New York Fashion Week

(Daily Mail)

Fury as Victoria Beckham parades 'show of skeletons' on the runway at New York Fashion Week = Posh has skinny, bony waif workers on the catwalk, who offend voyeurs, I am sure. Take care, eat!

(by Jason Lofts)

My day with a robot

(BBC)

Photo: Wikimedia

My day with a robot = Boy toy with RAM ad

(by Robert Jordan)

Tony Abbott removed: Australia has had five prime ministers in five years

(The Independent)

Photo: Veni

Tony Abbot removed, Australia has had five prime ministers in five years = Shame, divisive party behaviour manifests at transition. Bye from leader!

(by Mark McNamara)

Russia to Continue Military Support to Assad Government, Says Vladimir Putin

(The Wall Street Journal)

Cartoon: Freedom House

Russia to continue its military support to Assad's government = Vladimir Putin continues to assist a gruesome tyrant's troops

(by Jason Lofts)

Delta State Shooting: Cops Hunt for Gunman After Professor Ethan Schmidt Killed on Campus

(NBC News)

Delta State University Professor Ethan Schmidt = Victim shot dead after tryst. Personal issue then?

(by Jason Lofts)

Rare (and adorable!) snow leopard cubs born at Chicago zoo

(Christian Science Monitor)

Rare (and adorable!) snow leopard cubs born at Chicago zoo = A good, adorable, bonnier cat bounced. O! Razor-sharp claws!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Why Idris Elba is not 'too street' to be James Bond

(Public Radio International)

Photo: DFID - UK Department for International Development

Six Bond actors:
1. Sean Connery
2. George Lazenby
3. Roger Moore
4. Timothy Dalton
5. Pierce Brosnan
6. Daniel Craig
=
1. One sexy Scot, no?
2. Rare casting error, born in Oz
3. Gentleman role
4. Replaced by
5. Irish boy
6. A dogged action man

(by Jason Lofts)

Plus-sized model Denise Bidot goes un-retouched in a new swimsuit campaign promoting body acceptance

(Business Insider)

The Puerto Rican/Kuwaiti "plus model" Denise Bidot = Aphrodite looked cute in a blue printed swimsuit = Plump ladies not suited to wear hot bikini. Reduce!

(by Jason Lofts)

Denise Bidot = It's bod I need

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Woman discovers 'boyfriend' of two years is woman when she removes blindfold during sex

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Katie Tegtmeyer

Woman has blindfolded sex with 'male cancer patient ashamed of scars' - before discovering it is female friend using prosthetic penis, court hears = Oh, we consider anecdote is farcical. She must be a cretin - her girlfriend with false stiff organ's supposed to have impersonated man's climax in bed!

(by Jason Lofts)

The Good Oil

(Turners)

Photo: Martin Cooper

The good oil = Ooh, to glide

(by Robert Jordan)

Andrew Garfield says Donald Trump is 'a lost soul wandering this Earth'

(The Week)

Photo: Miles Gehm

Andrew Garfield says Donald Trump is 'a lost soul wandering this Earth' = A diseased power-hungry fat gas-nut rolls in dollars and dreams with it!

(by Maurice Goddard)

23 Ridiculously Offensive Donald Trump Quotes

(InsideGov)

Photo: Elvert Barnes

"I will build a great wall -- and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me -- and I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words."
=
Exuberant, wily madman Donald Trump risibly babbled he will underwrite and oversee the hurried erection of an almighty bulwark as a vivid symbol to expel all dirty illegal immigrants. We'll kowtow and bellow "Alleluia!"
=
Well I never!

Always verbally extreme like a loud-mouthed twit,
We've an extremely arrogant madder babbling nit.
A rude-to-all monkey, billionaire Donald Trump chills,
Raw foul windbag wipes his bum daily with dollar bills!

(by Jason Lofts, Maurice Goddard)

J.K. Rowling says you've been pronouncing 'Voldemort' wrong

(CNN)

Photo: Devon Steven

J.K. Rowling says you've been pronouncing 'Voldemort' wrong = Grown-up bookworms enjoy a nice 'T' during very long novels

(by Dharam)

More Cuban Migrants Crossing to US by Sea

(Time)

Photo: US Coast Guard

More Cuban Migrants Crossing to US by Sea = Boats bring US near. Masses coming cry out!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Clever Cat Answers Ringing Telephone

(Huffington Post)

Clever cat answers ringing telephone = In went one pet reversing call charges!

(by Robert Jordan)

Donald Trump Insults Carly Fiorin's Looks, Underscores Gross Attitude Toward Women

(New York Magazine)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Donald Trump insults Carly Fiorina's looks, underscores gross attitude toward women = Crass gratuitous slur from old monkey (world's worst US presidential candidate). Not on!

(by Jason Lofts)

New algorithm identifies hidden porn websites

(The Times of India)

Photo: Phil Rogers

New algorithm identifies hidden porno websites = Desires find home with web design interpolation

(by Mark McNamara)

Twin rapist caught without DNA

(USA Today)

Photo: Actu Secours

Twin rapist caught without DNA, then confesses. Brother freed. = Wow! French cops hunt, detain nastiest thug, deter his bro after.

(by Russ Atkinson)

Phallic-shaped church to get fig leaf

(Daily Kos)

Photo: Google Maps

Phallic-shaped church to get fig leaf = Cap off chapel's glitch (hide laughter!)

(by Dharam)

Huge, newly discovered monument dwarfs nearby Stonehenge

(CNet)

Huge, newly discovered monument dwarfs nearby Stonehenge = Announced mystery weaves wonder fun here! The mind boggles!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Queen Elizabeth II is Britain's greatest monarch, according to poll

(The Independent)

Photo: Number 10

Queen Elizabeth II is Britain's greatest monarch, according to poll = Epic acclaim! Or sitting longest on a sizable throne required habit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sarah Palin would be welcome in a Trump administration, the billionaire says

(Washington Post)

Photo: Andrew Dallos

Sarah Palin would be welcome in a Trump administration, the billionaire says = O! Man! A sullen, horrid idea! Two similar Tea Party bullshit-apes combine in a win?

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pillow fight at West Point leads to 24 concussions

(CBC)

The annual West Point military academy pillow fight = Thump! Yowl! Wept. Infantile hostility, cranial damage.

(by Julian Lofts)

What the Image of Aylan Kurdi Says About the Power of Photography

(Time)

Photo: Defend International

The photos of Aylan Kurdi = Oh, pathos of lad in Turkey

(by Jason Lofts)

Migrant crisis: The long walk out of Hungary

(BBC)

Photo: nternational Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies

Migrant crisis: The long walk out of Hungary = Tragic story: Trek following human anguish.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Smart reveals the new Fortwo Cabrio

(BBC)

Photo: My Car is Smart

Smart Fortwo Cabrio = Worst motorcar - a fib!

(by Julian Lofts)

Hillary Clinton Blasts Donald Trump Over Women's Issues in New Hampshire

(NBC News)

Illustration: Chris Piascik

Hillary Clinton Blasts Donald Trump Over Women's Issues in New Hampshire = She sneers... "Him? Worst vain small-minded Republican Party loon who insults!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

University of Tennessee tells staff and students to stop using 'he' and 'she' - and switch to 'xe', 'zir' and 'xyr' instead

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Jeffrey Beall

University of Tennessee tells staff and students to stop using 'he' and 'she' - and switch to 'xe', 'zir' and 'xyr' instead = "Stop that!" UT's officer defends and insists that we use this odd invention (zany gender-neutral/sexless syntax)

(by Jason Lofts)

Clinton on Emails: "I Am Sorry That This Has Been Confusing to People"

(New York Magazine)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

"At the end of the day, I am sorry that this has been^confusing to people and has raised a lot of questions, but there are answers to all these questions," she says = Clinton has used her personal email for business. She has been quoted as saying that's not professional. Yet that year, quite thwarted, she shoots to a defeat.

(by Julian Lofts)

Beards to blame for falling male skincare sales

(The Independent)

Photo: Vít Hassan

Beards to blame for falling male skincare sales = See! Manlike trend all babes fall for as orgasmic?!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Migrant crisis: Drowned boy's father speaks of heartbreak

(BBC)

I read the most awful report on the news tonight:
"My children were the most beautiful children in the world. Is there anybody in the world for whom their child is not the most precious thing?" Mr Kurdi said.^"My kids were amazing. They woke me every day to play with me. What is more beautiful than this? Everything is gone.
"I would love to sit next to the grave of my family now and relieve the pain I feel," he said. = Twelve Syrians, fleeing bloodthirsty harm in the town of Kobane, drowned indiscriminately in the sea off Turkey when their vessel capsized. It is horrific. Why did three year old Alan, Ghalib (five) and their mum die? Why? My heart goes out to them. Enraged, I wept ashamedly. I wonder "I'm a wimp?" Every country in the world ought to rethink, to stem the flow, then must help to give exiles a home without turmoil.

(by Julian Lofts)

Self-help author Wayne Dyer dies at 75

(Fox News)

Photo: Marti Wukelic

Self-help author Wayne Dyer has died = Ha! He was truly derided. False! Phoney!

(by Julian Lofrs)

Did you hear what Canada's defense minister said about Scott Walker?

(Citizen Action of Wisconsin)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Did you hear what Canada's defense minister said about Scott Walker? =^He said, "Wait, look, I want that border fence!" And adds, "As, it may secure us!"

(by Dharam)

Petition Launched Against "Transphobic" Caitlyn Jenner Halloween Costume

(The Hollywood Reporter)

Photo: Anytime Costumes

Unisex "Call Me Caitlyn" Halloween costume = Excellent - a simultaneous (wo)manly cliché!

(by Jason Lofts)

Natalia Strelchenko: World-renowned concert pianist found murdered in Britain

(ABC News)

Natalia Strelchenko: Renowned concert pianist is found murdered in Britain = Didn't husband kill career entertainer in untoward crime of passion? Not nice!

(by Jason Lofts)

There's Now A "Cecil The Lion Killer Dentist" Costume Equipped With Blood And A Severed Lion Head

(BroBible)

There's now a "Cecil the Lion Killer Dentist" costume equipped with blood and a severed lion head = This quite novel Halloween tunic dedicated to Walter Palmer indeed shocks beholders, I opine

(by Jason Lofts)