UK Cops Warned Under-Wire Bras Could be Dangerous

(NBC Chicago)

Photo: eatmorechips

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The Police in Britain Stated That Under-Wire Bras Could be Dangerous, OK? = And Rather Suicidal Work Out Pounding the Beat in a Steel Ribbed Corset!

(by Robert Jordan)

Queen to open London Games and Paralympics

(Reuters)

Photo: The British Monarchy

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Queen to open London Games and Paralympics = Queen ma'am can! Old propped gal's soon ninety!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Costa Allegra passengers face uncomfortable three days without power

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: JorgeBRAZIL

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Costa Allegra passengers face uncomfortable three days without power = Off course, all do agree: "We're happy brute scalawag Schettino's not master!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Oscar's aging audience: Time to shake up the academy?

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: chickpokipsie

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Oscar's aging audience: Time to shake up the academy? = Cheesy outdated pics is a huge racket, egomania, man!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Meryl Streep takes third career Oscar

(Reuters)

Photo: Beacon Radio

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Meryl Streep takes the third career Oscar = Report: Academy likes hers act, the rest err

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Santorum: Obama is 'a snob' because he wants 'everybody in America to go to college'

(Washington Post)

Photo: Talk Radio News Service

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Obama is 'a snob' = I'm ass, a baboon

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Lord Lucan sensation: He DID escape to Africa and could still be alive, his brother claims

(The Daily Mirror)

Photo: Wikipedia

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Lord 'Lucky' Lucan may still be alive, so his brother claims. = Also likely liberal cohorts subtly saved criminal chum.

(by Robert Jordan)

Taco Bell Unveils 'Live Mas' Slogan, Says Adios To 'Think Outside The Bun'

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Scott Ableman

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Taco Bell Unveils 'Live Mas' Slogan, Says Adios To 'Think Outside The Bun' = A handy value, so visit...but look into its salt, MSG, and insoluble cheese!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

'US believes Iran not trying to build nuclear bomb'

(YnetNews)

Illustration: AslanMedia

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'US believes Iran not trying to build nuclear bomb' = Obviously, unblest America returning to be blind

(by Aronas Pinchas)

After Debate, Santorum Finds Himself on the Defensive

(The New York Times)

Photo: Talk Radio News Service

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After Debate, Santorum Finds Himself on the Defensive = Amid the evil, he is better famed for stuff and nonsense!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Marie Colvin Killed in Homs - targeted by Syrian Army

(Daily Kos)

Photo: biscator's

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The Sunday Times foreign correspondent, Marie Colvin = Death comes from note sent during Syrian violence, RIP

(by Chris Sturdy)

Homer Simpson's favourite drink Duff beer goes on sale in the UK

(Metro)

Photo: PhotoBlog

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Homer Simpson's favourite drink Duff beer goes on sale in Britain = Deserve a tin? For me, first look for a pub remaining in business... Doh!

(by Robert Jordan)

Hitler's secret photos reveal Nazi leader's vanity

(The Daily Telegraph)
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Hitler's secret photos reveal Nazi leader's vanity = He's rated Earth's looniest crazy villain pest ever!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Heston to cook test-tube burger

(MSN News)

Photo: Ratamala

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Heston to cook a test-tube burger = the best surrogate bun etc. too -- ok?

(by Robert Jordan)

Anthony Shadid, Reporter in the Middle East, Dies at 43

(The New York Times)

Photo: Terissa Schor

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Anthony Shadid, Reporter = NYT person. A horrid death.

(by Adie Pena)

Anthony Shadid, Reporter = That one had sorry end. RIP.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Swedish man survives for months in snowed-in car

(The Guardian)

Photo: Glen Bowman

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Swedish man survives for months in snowed-in car = In newsstands: No-show human revived from crisis!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

'Tea Party Patriots: The Second American Revolution'

(Fox News)

Photo: Chicago Man

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'Tea Party Patriots: The Second American Revolution' = Nuttier moaners in a potty video: Clear Catastrophe!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Hague fears Iran could start 'new Cold War'

(BBC)

Photo: Aslan Media

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Hague fears Iran could start 'new Cold War' = Accuser: Tehran is awful, a danger to world

(by Aronas Pinchas)

US man has heart attack while eating 'Triple Bypass Burger' at The Heart Attack Grill

(Yahoo!)

Photo: kshilcutt

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US man has heart attack while eating 'Triple Bypass Burger' at The Heart Attack Grill = A hungry brat with ultra appetite selects a snack that might be a killer... aagh, arrest!

(by Chris Sturdy)

US: Iran 'not close' to abandoning nuclear program

(Jerusalem Post)

Illustration: futureatlas.com

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US: Iran 'not close' to abandoning nuclear program = Repugnant loonier moron lunatics can, as do brag!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover: Kate Upton, 19

(AP)
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Sports Illustrated = Loud starlets strip

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Whitney Houston 'found underwater' in bath

(BBC)

Photo: asterix611

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Whitney Houston 'found underwater' in bath = Hunted beauty drowns! No hairnet? How unfit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Martin Scorsese to receive Bafta fellowship award

(The Guardian)

Photo: Craig Grobler

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Martin Scorsese to receive Bafta fellowship award = Fanbase view at actor show - 'a peerless film director'

Facebook dad shoots his daughter's laptop

(YouTube)
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Facebook dad shoots his own daughter's laptop = Tough disposal of bad posts? Ooh, what a redneck!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Whitney Houston's body transported NINE hours after medics arrived

(People)

Photo: UggBoy-UggGirl

Whitney Houston's body transported nine hours after medics arrived = Vent: No hurry if a show-business death, sordid crime, or not a pretty end?!? (You must turn on Java in your web browser to see this Animated Anagrams applet.)
Whitney Houston's Body Transported Nine Hours After Medics Arrived = Do they wash the mirror, destroy pints, do a transfusion, burn evidence?

(by Dharam Khalsa)

Singer Whitney Houston found dead

(Fox News)

Photo: asterix611

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Singer Whitney Elizabeth Houston is found dead = Another sad showbiz life in the US ... it ended young.

(by Adie Pena)

Whitney Houston, superstar of records, films, dies

(Yahoo!)

Photo: asterix611

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Whitney Houston, superstar of records, films, dies = A terse End of the Show. Loss for music industry. RIP.

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Aung San Suu Kyi campaigns for the first time in her constituency

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: UK Department for International Development

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Aung San Suu Kyi campaigns for the first time in her constituency = Cute saint ran. Humanity's epoch-making figure is country's finest!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Mexican army makes 'historic' drug seizure

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: ulalume

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Mexican army makes 'historic' drug seizure = I may risk murder to such amazing exercise

(by Chris Sturdy)

Mexican army makes 'historic' drug seizure = Sure! A mere mighty dinosaur-size crack mix!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Santorum amplifies faith in way GOP rivals don't

(Boston Globe)

Illustration: boris.rasin

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Santorum amplifies faith in way GOP rivals don't = Longish yawn in... trivial soap opera stuff, dammit!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Gorbachev: Russia faces turmoil as Putin won't change

(Reuters)

Photo: Daniel Kongos

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Gorbachev: Russia faces turmoil as Putin won't change = Putin, he's fatal as Bush, a manic crowing overt scourge!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Planet found at perfect spot for life - in solar system with three suns

(Christian Science Monitor)

Illustration: Carnegie Institute for Science

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Planet found at perfect spot for life - in solar system with three suns = Newton: "Hi Man! Helplessly distant for future trips & efforts to escape!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Planet found at perfect spot for life - in solar system with three suns = Scientists: People, New Home to stay! Fresh, fruitful land! Apts for rent!

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Naomi Watts cast as Princess Diana

(USA Today)

Photo: Eva Rinaldi

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Naomi Watts cast as Princess Diana = "Me downcast? Cast as a 'Saint' in Paris?"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Senior US Catholic cites Obama "promises" on birth control

(Reuters)

Photo: photoactionusa

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Senior US Catholic cites Obama "promises" on birth control = It's: Contraception choices rile this amoral submoron SOB

(by Maurice Goddard)

Diet Soda Linked to Heart Disease Risk

(Yahoo! News)

Photo: Newbirth35

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Diet Soda Linked to Heart Disease Risk = I'd like to see dark death stories in ads!

(by Dharam Khalsa)

He has victories, now Santorum needs money, support

(Reuters)

Photo: feastoffun.com

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He has victories, now Santorum needs money, support = Super win! He proves he can oust so-and-so Mitt Romney!

(by Maurice Goddard)

GOP vows to reverse Obama birth control policy

(The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

Illustration: DonkeyHotey

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The Obama's birth control policy = Catholics, abortion thy problem?

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Costa Concordia: cruise captain 'dined on crab and oysters’ with dancer

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: GrandeEmporium

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Costa Concordia: cruise captain 'dined on crab and oysters’ with dancer = So caricatured, Schettino's captaincy on board ends in darn cowardice!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Pope 'exorcised two men in the Vatican', claims new book

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: AZRainman

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Pope 'exorcised two men in the Vatican', claims new book = View next soap, wait or hope: Eminence combats Old Nick!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Helping your parents stay out of the nursing home

(Los Angeles Times)

Photo: LOLren

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Helping your parents stay out of the nursing home = Unfortunate sorry ones, these might go unhappily?

(by Maurice Goddard)

American Way: 'Mr Invincible' yet to convince Republican core

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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American Way: 'Mr Invincible' yet to convince Republican core = A pure cynic, Mitt 'clever-clever baboon' Romney: "I can! I can win I!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Obama: Jesus would back my tax-the-rich policy

(CNN)

Photo: The White House Fellows Program

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Obama: Jesus would back my tax-the-rich policy = "Ha! A just way up! Bible exactly mocks rich doom."

(by Maurice Goddard)

Hubble snaps stunning barred spiral galaxy image

(BBC)

Photo: NASA

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Hubble snaps stunning barred spiral galaxy image = Big Bang's unexplained starry enigma has blurs, pal!

(by Maurice Goddard)

David Beckham: I've never stuffed my pants with socks because I don't need to

(Now Magazine)

Photo: friskytuna

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David Beckham: I've never stuffed my pants with socks because I don't need to = "Me? Stud fitness speaks! Even my bedded bonked wife, Victoria, can vouch that!"

(by Maurice Goddard)

Daughter cuts off cancer-stricken mother's hair in YouTube video

(The Daily Telegraph)
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Daughter cuts off cancer-stricken mother's hair in YouTube video = Brave heroic courage, inasmuch in front of her cute kid, tests duty.

(by Maurice Goddard)

Sugar should be regulated like alcohol, tobacco, commentary says

(CBS News)

Photo: Uwe Hermann

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Sugar should be regulated like alcohol, tobacco, commentary says = Sugary Realm? God! You'd best label Coca-Cola "Health Risk To Consume"!

(by Maurice Goddard)

The Uncanny Valley: What Robot Theory Tells Us About Mitt Romney

(The Atlantic)

Photo: DonkeyHotey

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The Uncanny Valley: What Robot Theory Tells Us About Mitt Romney = Hey! Very mouthy, hell-bent Automaton "Latter-Clown Saint", tours by!

(by Maurice Goddard)