Israel's Netanyahu: Iran poses greater threat than Islamic State

(Reuters)

Caricature: DonkeyHotey

Israel's Netanyahu: Iran poses greater threat than Islamic State = Anagram Artist retranslates: "Heathens, you panic the Israelites!"

(by Jason Lofts)

Mariam al-Mansouri on becoming UAE's first female fighter pilot

(The Guardian)

Photo: CityPeople News Nigeria

The female fighter pilot Mariam al-Mansouri = I am a first hot femme in the all-male air group!

(by Adie Pena)

Bodybuilding Christian Swingers From Florida Start Spouse-Swapping Website

(Huffington Post)


Bodybuilding Christian swingers from Florida start spouse-swapping website = Baptists pump iron and transgress with wife's gigolo boyfriends? Is a weird club?

(by Jason Lofts)

George Clooney ties the knot with Amal Alamuddin

(The Boston Globe)

Photo: Mundo33

George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin = Me and you. Good male and a clean girl.

(by Adie Pena)

George Clooney ties the knot with Amal Alamuddin = This actor took gentle woman, hugely ideal maiden

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Scientists help completely paralyzed rats walk again

(Design & Trend)

Photo: Courtine Lab/Ecole Polytechnique Federale de Lausanne

Scientists help completely paralyzed rats walk again = Saw amazingly athletic rodent cripples stalk, leap. Yes!

(by Jason Lofts)

Chelsea Clinton gives birth to a daughter

(CNN)

Photo: Full Circle Fund

Chelsea Clinton and husband produce a little girl = Could notice Bill and Hill as cute grandparents, eh?

(by Rosie Perera)

Foley, Sotloff, Haines, y Gourdel, cuatro ciudadanos occidentales salvajemente ejecutados por terroristas islámicos

(ABC.es)


Innocent Western hostages slaughtered by Arab terrorists: James Foley, Steven Sotloff, David Haines, and Herve Gourdel = Barbaric thugs targeted, severed four fellows' heads in desert. So end this tyranny & evil era soon, avenge them! (Jason Lofts)

(by Jason Lofts)

UAE's first female fighter pilot led airstrike against ISIS

(CNN)


United Arab Emirates' first female fighter pilot = Get Mariam to fire at the baffled inept ISIS ruler!

(by Rosie Perera)

Airbus to help develop first supersonic business jet

(CNN)

Photo: Jerad Kaliher

Airbus to develop first supersonic business jet = Jesus, it burns fuel! Observe its price-point. So sad.

(by Rosie Perera)

Obama's coffee cup salute draws criticism

(CNN)

Photo: White House

President Obama's coffee cup salute criticized = Too casual, citizens decide. Prefer ace fist bump.

(by Rosie Perera)

On a Shoestring, India Sends Orbiter to Mars

(The New York Times)

Photo: Wikimedia

On a shoestring, India sends orbiter to Mars = Narendra Modi sees shooting star's in orbit

(by Jason Lofts)

Rockefellers, Heirs to an Oil Fortune, Will Divest Charity of Fossil Fuels

(The New York Times)

Photo: Boston Public Library

As the biographer Ron Chernow wrote of John D. Rockefeller Senior: "What makes him problematic -- and why he continues to inspire ambivalent reactions -- is that his good side was every bit as good as his bad side was bad. Seldom has history produced such a contradictory figure." = He was a shrewd, shady billionaire boss who abjured both hard drink and tobacco. He became staggeringly rich foremost from Standard Oil corporate stock. Why, it's ironic how passionate he was over philanthropy (i.e. noted universities, museums etc.) for decades in his dotage.

(by Jason Lofts)

US airstrikes hit ISIS inside Syria for first time

(CNN)

Photo: Ogbodo Solution

US air campaign underway in Syria = Daring America: "Puny ISIS, run away!"

(by Rosie Perera)

2nd security incident at White House in 2 days

(CNN)

Photo: Justin Brown

Another White House security incident = Now rescue the ethnic authority inside

(by Rosie Perera)

Angelina effect: Star spurs genetic tests

(Gulf News)

Illustration: Ismail Mia

Angelina effect: Star spurs genetic tests = Less suffering: Patients get a cancer test

(by Jason Lofts)

A Supermassive Black Hole Found in a Tiny Galaxy by Astronomers

(iStreet Research)

Photo: NASA

A supermassive black hole found by astronomers = So astronomy fans beheld a possible Kerr^* vacuum?
^*Roy Patrick Kerr CNZM (b. 1934) is a New Zealand mathematician. best known for discovering the Kerr vacuum, an exact solution to the Einstein field equation of general relativity. His solution models the gravitational field outside an uncharged rotating massive object, including a rotating black hole.

(by Jason Lofts)

Art Galleries Deliberate Introducing A Selfie Ban

(Huffington Post)

Photo: Pat Arnow

Art galleries consider introducing ban on selfies = Cool! Forbid all narcissist teenagers ruining Eden.

(by Rosie Perera)

Ukrainian protesters toss unpopular MP into dumpster

(Canada.com)


Ukrainian protesters throw MP in a dumpster = Mean, drunk patriots put sir in trash. Empower!

(by Rosie Perera)

Minnesota Vikings Reverse Course, Suspend Adrian Peterson

(ABC News)

Illustration: MEDIODESCOCIDO

Minnesota Vikings suspend Adrian Peterson = Press: "I spanked son" man under investigation

(by Jason Lofts)

Crimewatch appeal to catch a killer

(BBC)

Photo: Kevin Dooley

Martin Casey = A nasty crime

(by Chris Sturdy)

Private Dancer

PRIVATE DANCER A song by Tina Turner All the men come in these places And the men are all the same You don't look at their faces And you don't ask their names You don't think of them as human You don't think of them at all You keep your mind on the money Keeping your eyes on the wall I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money I'll do what you want me to do I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money And any old music will do I wanna make a million dollars I wanna live out by the sea Have a husband and some children Yeah, I guess I want a family All the men come in these places And the men are all the same You don't look at their faces And you don't ask their names I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money I'll do what you want me to do I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money And any old music will do I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money I'll do what you want me to do Just a private dancer, a dancer for money And any old music will do Deutsch marks or dollars American Express will do nicely, thank you Let me loosen up your collar Tell me, do you wanna see me do the shimmy again? I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money I'll do what you want me to do Just a private dancer, a dancer for money And any old music will do All the men come in these places And the men are all the same You don't look at their faces And you don't ask their names You don't think of them as human No, you don't think of them at all You keep your mind on the money Keeping your eyes on the wall I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money I'll do what you want me to do I'm your private dancer, a dancer for money And any old music will do (repeat and fade...)

=

PRIVATE DANCER (Military two-step) I'm a bored and lonely guardsman In a dull old sentry box Here outside the royal palace Where I'm stood up like a rock And the minutes really drag on And you may not move or talk And the folk outside the palace Come to look and shout and gawk They call me Private Dancer and say I'm a fool, 'cause I played out my own kooky joke Instead of a slow march I did pirouettes To entertain all of you folk They all say I'm in deep doodah Yeah, and danced well out of line My superiors are furious And I could incur a fine Or they may dole out a sentence In a military jail 'Cause I'm trendin' now on YouTube And I'm in the Daily Mail I'm known as Private Dancer oh, man, it's not funny And now I am stuck with the name Private Dancer, he danced when on duty And that's my one mad claim to fame (Chorus) Hey, Private Dancer, one mad, mental moment May mean your career has to end, Private Dancer, what unholy torment Oh, you never meant to offend. No euro or dollar Could allay the sorrow that makes my emotions so raw And, oh, I feel really hollow Lemme tell you, I'll not shimmy on duty no more (Chorus) Hey, Private Dancer, one mad mental moment May mean your career has to end Private Dancer, what unholy torment Oh, you never meant to offend. All my life I'm true and loyal (Damned unusual these days!) Loyal to you kooky Royals And if we sever our ways Hell, I'll duly keep on prancing Who knows, in another year? I may do 'Strictly Come Dancing' And have me a new career. As a champion dancer, a dancer for money, Don't mind any music you use, A champion dancer, a dancer for money's What I am intended to do. Ha! (repeat and end)

(by Tony Crafter)

Nude-looking women's cycling strip draws ire

(Stuff.co.nz)


This nude-looking women's cycling strip really draws some ire = Girlish pseudogenitals - we men smirk cynically or do we snort?

(by Julian Lofts)

Buckingham Palace dancing Guardsman may face prison

(The Daily Telegraph)


The Buckingham Palace guardsman = Dancing chap must be a laugh-maker!

(by Adie Pena)

UK's Cameron on Islamic State: They are not Muslims, they are monsters

(Jerusalem Post)

Photo: social extrmeley

"They claim to do this in the name of Islam. That is nonsense," Cameron said. "Islam's a religion of peace. They are not Muslims; they are monsters." = Mohammed once said: 'Thou shalt not slay innocent men.' Halt these enemies of America, they are terrifying, pitiless assassins - immoral, too!

(by Jason Lofts)

Also see this: Sleepwalking Toward Armageddon

David Haines beheading: David Cameron condemns Isis 'monsters' shown in video murdering British aid worker

(The Independent)

Photo: Mig_R

"We will do everything in our power to hunt down these murderers and ensure they face justice, however long it takes." = On the news: Hardened vehement neolithic terrorist used knife to cut poor westerner guy's jugular, leave widow. Why?

(by Jason Lofts)

Pistorius could return to athletics

(Daily Mail)

Photo: Robert Ball

"Oscar's done a great deal for the Paralympic movement. He's been an inspiration to millions, but obviously his priority now is to see what the judge decides. "If he wishes to resume his athletics career then we wouldn't step in his way. We would allow him to compete again in the future." - Craig Spence (the International Paralympic Committee's director of media) = Is it hype? Is it ethical? Why validate a sinewy, effete, egoistic, weeping cripple with an anger management problem and a narcissistic personality who murdered a cutie - innocent socialite Reeva - with his Parabellum pistol and dumdum bullets? Ow! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! One, two, three, four! Elementary proof - Oscar decimated her! Where is imminent justice?

(by Julian Lofts)

The Rev Ian Paisley dies aged 88

(Catholic Herald)

Photo: Iker Merodio

The Reverend Dr Ian Paisley dies = Pyre lit - even Irish are saddened

(by Julian Lofts)

Tribute in Light: Healing Art 9/11 Memorial

(Last Vegas Guardian)

Photo: Wikimedia

Tribute in Light = Lit bright. Unite!

(by Jason Lofts)

'Dolus eventualis', the legal Latin on South Africa's lips

(Reuters)

Photo: Marc

Dolus eventualis = "Adieu sloven! Slut!"

(by Julian Lofts)

Obama Warns ISIS: 'If You Threaten America, You Will Find No Safe Haven'

(NBC News)

Photo: Il Fatto Quotidiano

"I have made it clear that we will hunt down terrorists who threaten our country, wherever they are," Obama said. "This is a core principle of my presidency: If you threaten America, you will find no safe haven." = The President vociferated how henceforward the USA intend to use pyrotechnic air weaponry systematically to annihilate you "evil orcs" (harmful Arab warriors) everywhere who intimidate human life.

(by Jason Lofts)

Oscar Pistorius guilty of manslaughter

(The Daily Telegraph)

Cartoon: Roy Blumenthal

Oscar Pistorius has been convicted of manslaughter = Be real! (Masipa announces High Court's so-soft verdict)

(by Tony Crafter)

You Betcha! Sarah Palin's Whole Family Reportedly Involved in a Twenty-Person Brawl

(TV Guide)


You Betcha! Sarah Palin's Whole Family Reportedly Involved in a Twenty-Person Brawl = All threatened pitbulls behave improperly in a frosty rival showdown - once anyway!

(by Dharam)

Maggots found in baby food

(CNN)

Photo: Rodesidepictures

Maggots found in baby food = Damaging to body. Buffoons!

(by Rosie Perera)

Apple Watch: 10 Things to Know

(Time)


The watch = What tech!

(by Julian Lofts)

Miley Cyrus Wore Pasties and Twerked at the Alexander Wang Party

(New York Magazine)

Photo: moaz222waer

Miley Cyrus at Alexander Wang party = A wan, arty, sexy girl came partly nude

(by Aronas Pinchas)

Miley Cyrus wore pasties and twerked at Alexander Wang party = Angry "para-adult" (ex-Disney teen) wears lewd wacky attire, romps

(by Jason Lofts)

Asteroid's threat on planet earth

(Khaleej Times)

Photo: NASA APPEL

Asteroid's threat on planet earth = That one hits, earns a top red alert!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Stars turn out for funeral of US comedian Joan Rivers in New York

(The Daily Telegraph)

Photo: Bill Davis

Stars turn out for funeral of US comedian Joan Rivers in New York = O! US nation mourns a fair, clever, first-rate, wondrous funny joker!

(by Maurice Goddard)

Libyan jet crashes in Tobruk near parliament

(BBC)

Photo: Vital Vids

Libyan jet crashes in Tobruk near the parliament = Abhorrent hit. Army plane incinerates. Just bleak!

(by Jason Lofts)

Michael Palin: "The world is an absurd and silly place"

(The Guardian)

Photo: gingiber

"My view of the world, really," Michael Palin says, "is that if you screw your eyes up and look at the world, it is an absurd and extraordinarily silly place, with everyone taking themselves very seriously." = Yes, Monty Python's Flying Circus is a dark comedy. Ha, we love surreal, irreverent, antiroyalist, upbeat humor, silly dopy walks and lewd, foul, hairy, sexy "ladies" who elate or titillate shy naive viewers

(by Julian Lofts)

They were the last word in glamour, but has the sun set on LA's swimming pools?

(The Guardian)

Photo: Julien Haler

They were the last word in glamour, but has the sun set on LA's swimming pools? = So water shortages mean pastime might be shut down. Thus only oil wells run.

(by Julian Lofts)

Tony Blair Philanthropist of the Year award defended by GQ

(The Independent)

Photo: Sheryl Pouls

Tony Blair has been voted a 'Philanthropist Of The Year' = "A noble envoy! That's rather handy. (I hope it's profitable)"

(by Tony Crafter)

Tony Blair is voted the GQ 'Philanthropist Of Year' = Prattle on! He's a bloody shit! Fight poverty in Iraq!

(by Jason Lofts)

What next for Islamic State, the would-be caliphate?

(The Guardian)

Photo: Stella G Soto

A caliphate is an Islamist state = Eclipse that ISIS, attain salaam!

(by Jason Lofts)

A banana a day can help keep strokes at bay

(The Daily Express)

Photo: Maureen Veras

A banana a day can help keep strokes at bay = A-OK as an apple, say, can break any bad teeth

(by Robert Jordan)

Comedienne Joan Rivers Dead At 81

(CBS Miami)

Photo: Steve Rhodes

Late comedienne Joan Rivers = Inter one jovial screen dame

(by Jason Lofts)